WWF Tough Enough 2, Episode 4: Personality Parade

As something of a last word on the whole Ephedra/supplements issue discussed last week, I asked Daniel Lue, one of the final 25 from the first season of Tough Enough (and whom I interviewed here).

He confirmed my suspicions that most of the contestants DO take some sort of supplement. At the very least, almost all take some sort of protein shake (Daniel himself takes EAS Myoplex Mass, a protein shake and mass builder) as I suspected. Some take supplements like creatine, an energy formula/muscle builder. He's not sure, however, if any others took fat burners containing Ephedra.

One thing he pointed out, though, is that all these supplements were totally and completely legal in the competition. The WWF subjected them to a test for illegal drugs (and all these supplements, while some may be dangerous, are completely legal) and asked them to list the prescription drugs they took, with no mention of bodybuilding drugs.

Which brings us full-circle. Was it hypocritical to cut Aaron because he took Ephedra? What it comes down to is this: it affected his performance and put him in the hospital. That was enough to cut him.

As we begin this fourth episode, Danny is on the phone with his dad, telling him that the trainers have told him they’re proud of how all the contestants have progressed. Danny tells US that he now knows this is what he wants to do.

Alicia, on the other hand, is worried because her back is throbbing, making her have to take buckets of pain pills. They do back bumps and hip tosses, and Alicia’s eyes bug out every time she hits. My fellow Tough Enough writer Dale Sherman likened it to the face-melting scene at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Either way, it makes them look a bit foolish calling Linda a drama queen, no?

But we all know Dale doesn’t like Alicia from his Quarterly report, right? I can’t disagree. By the way, since I didn’t get a chance to say it, my personal favorites so far are Hawk, Jake, Matt, Danny, and Linda. Everyone else I either dislike or don’t care about, and I’ll leave it to you to figure out which is which.

Jessie tells Al that her hands and feet get numb all of a sudden, and her heart keeps racing. Better check the cabinets for Stacker 2. Al tells her that they have to know when this sort of thing happens. Jessie, crying, explains that she doesn’t want to be sent home because of this.

Now, that’s kind of a dumb attitude to take, as Al pointed out, even if she works through it she still may be sent home. But at least she wants to work through it, as opposed to a certain snaggletoothed crab who sits out and takes “buckets of pain pills.” So there’s that.

Jessie will be sent to see a heart specialist. She tells her boyfriend, who is none too pleased. Alicia tells her dad that her back is acting up, and he jumps to the conclusion that maybe wrestling isn’t for her. Gee, thanks for the support. But then, he does have a point.

The next day, as the trainers are teaching them the difference between a wristlock and a wristwatch, (sorry, another joke that three people will get. Just move along, nothing to see here) the Dudley Boys enter Trax!

The Dudley Boys originated in ECW, along with a large extended family of wrestling brothers. These included Dudley Dudley, the overweight Chubby Dudley, the half-Indian Dances with Dudley, and of course, head of the clan, “Big” Dick Dudley. You can check out the Dudleys’ antics in the Best of the Dudley Boys in ECW DVD.

Eventually, Bubba and D’Von broke into the WWF, and continued their tag team dominance. They’ve had quite a few memorable matches in the WWF, including one of my personal favorites, a “Tag Team Tables” Match with the Hardy Boys at Royal Rumble 2000.

Anyway, they stress to the contestants that what they’re going through now is only the beginning. Also, it’s not just physicality that matters, you have to have personality. You have to bring something special to the table (no pun intended) or you’re done. The worst thing that could ever happen is that you get no reaction from the crowd.

The contestants get into the ring, one at a time, and try their hand at some promos. Most of them royally stink. I was impressed by Jake’s promo (ah, but I think he’ll win anyway) and particularly surprised by Hawk’s.

Hawk gets a maniacal look on his face and says (in a tone that would creep out Jack Nicholson), “Step into my world of darkness… you will feel that something dangerous lurks here. That’s me.” Yikes.

Danny gives a pretty horrible Danimal promo, sounding like a cross between Hulk Hogan and a High School speech class. Bubba says that he didn’t feel that Danny was speaking as himself, he was playing a character. The distinction is very small, but compare Danny’s promo to Hawk’s. We actually see Hawk as creepy after that. Hey, the best gimmicks, as I always say, are rooted in reality.

Jessie, meanwhile, has been given every heart-related test known to medical science. The doctor believes it to be Vasovagal Syndrome, where the heart doesn’t keep up with your blood pressure. She’s got to wear a heart monitor constantly for the next 24 hours.

Linda, Alicia, and Hawk leave Trax early that day (we’re not told exactly why, which I found odd). Alicia proceeds to spout off her opinion about everyone in the house, specifically that Jessie will surely be the next one cut. You might think it would be a mistake to talk smack about others in front of someone as hyperactive as Hawk. And you’d be right.

Hawk quickly tells Kenny and Pete, and Jessie overhears the conversation since they’re making no effort to keep their voices down. Pete also says he and Kenny were standing with Alicia watching Jessie in the ring, and Alicia said Jessie was a goner the next day.

Jessie is, shall we say, not a happy camper.

Alicia, meanwhile, walks into the room with the guys and asks what they’re doing. Kenny snaps, “Minding our own damn business, maybe you should do the same.” Yeeee-OUCH! Have I mentioned how Kenny is quickly becoming one of my favorites?

Jessie confronts Alicia in the bedroom, yelling how it was rude to talk about her, that now Jessie is actively hoping, right along with the rest of us, that Alicia will be cut soon. Alicia tries to defend herself but can’t seem to get a word in edgewise, which is really kinda funny.

Alicia says Jessie shouldn’t trust what the others say without coming to her first. Umm, Alicia, you DO realize those big things that are constantly pointed at you are CAMERAS, right? And they’re RECORDING what you’re saying, right?

She also claims that just because she said Jessie would be the next to go (even though she just said she DIDN’T say it) it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t care about her. Awww, I may just hurl. Alicia says she’s taking it wrong, to which Jessie replies “I don’t care.”

Nice.

Alicia starts crying and gets comforted by JAKE, of all people. Hawk says Jessie’s starting to show her true colors. Jake redeems himself by telling Matt that “chicks aren’t as tough as dudes.”

I really, really love this show sometimes.

Who’s right in this argument? Neither one really. Alicia should keep her ugly yap shut, and Jessie (as Al said before) needs to toughen up emotionally. I don’t care, though, I’m still laughing at Jake’s comment.

The trainers gather, meanwhile, to discuss who should be cut. We’re only shown our big three this time:

Jessie: She’s tough. She has issues physically. Ivory wants to keep her because she’s just so darned cute. Bob, ever the old softy, thinks she’s a liability.

Alicia: Al says he thinks she’s tough one minute, then two seconds later thinks she’s a crybaby. Bob says she looks lazy to him.

Danny: Described as “vanilla.” He’s all heart. Chavo (hey, he’s still here!) reminds us that he was an alternate because he was lacking something. He therefore had to wow them, physically, and he’s done that.

Later, Al comes around for the latest game of duck, duck, goose. He tells everyone to sit except for the aforementioned three. He tells Jessie that he’s going to be watching her. He has concerns. Sit.

He walks up to Danny. He says that personality is everything, you have to be larger than life. Danny didn’t show that, and that’s not what they’re looking for. Danny is cut.

What? No, that can’t be right. Let me rewind.

Danny’s cut? I’ll be damned. More on this in a second.

Al gives Alicia the ol’ stinkeye for quite a while. Without comment, he tells her to sit.

Huh? Okay, unless the editing is VERY lopsided, Alicia has done nothing but either bitch about other people or complain that her back’s hurting in between fistfuls of pills. I’m about as wimpy as they come, and I tried my best to avoid pills when my back would flare up and use them only when it became unbearable otherwise. Alicia continually talks about taking painkillers and muscle relaxants and she stays on? I don’t get this at all. Maybe they know she’s a good villain and wanted to keep her around since she wasn’t a risk to kill anyone (unlike Darryl from season one).

I also understand why Danny was cut. I’ve said it numerous times before, you can’t teach personality. But Harvard Chris had the personality of a really dull celery stick, yet he made it to the end. I don’t think that Danny was that far away from having a decent gimmick. Or maybe they’re looking more toward personality this year than last. They are talking more about it, earlier than they did last year.

I just don’t understand the logic here, that’s all.

In his exit interview, Danny fights back tears as he tells us that he’s always wanted to be a wrestler, and this was his big chance. This one hurts even more than being cut from the final 13 in the casting special, because he’s gotten involved, gotten a taste. He hopes that this isn’t the end.

I speak for myself as well as Dale when I wish you the best of luck in the future, Danimal.

NEXT WEEK: Matt hurts his knee. Tazz pays a visit, and tells the group they’re going to Raw!

Mike DeGeorge is going to work on his company’s fiscal year end now. You can email him condolences at mikmaria@swbell.net. And if you’re the Danimal, you’ve got an open invite for a few beers, my treat.

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