Dancing with the Stars 6, April 7: Perfect 10

Last week on Dancing with the Stars, Anna & Steve were eliminated from the competition, and the mango became more than just a fruit. Tonight, the couples perform either the paso doble or the Viennese waltz. I'm exhausted, so let's get started before I fall asleep!

Tom and Samantha start the show. Just from the outfits and amount of boobage the female dancers are displaying, you can tell which couples are dancing which dance.

The first couple to perform this evening is Kristi & Mark. Kristi realizes emotion is important in dance. She also grunts and promises to be passionate.

They're doing the paso doble to “Blue Monday.” Kristi is true to her word and shows passion during the dance. There are a few minor errors, but in general, the dance is superb. Kristi’s moves are sharp; she looks like she’s been dancing most of her life.

Len tells Mark his choreography is great and Kristi’s dancing is wonderful. He complains though that each of their dances is similar. Bruno calls Len “Crusty Goodman.” He also compliments Kristi on her skills. Carrie Ann says that Kristi is the reason everyone else has to work so hard.

OK, say it with me: Samantha talks to the couple backstage and I ignore her.

The judges are ready with their scores. Carrie Ann and Bruno give it a 10 or a goober as it is also known. Len gives it a nine. Kristi & Mark have 29 points.

Up now are Priscilla & Louis. Priscilla says she’s afraid of the waltz. Louis explains that the dance is full of love. To help her with her movement, Louis takes Priscilla roller-skating. It’s dreamy.

They are dancing the Viennese waltz to “Do Right Man.” The dance is great, but Priscilla doesn’t seem as light on her feet as she should be. Her feet also leave the floor at one point. Can we expect to feel the wrath of Carrie Ann?

Bruno gives Priscilla advice on her holds. He also says the interpretation was great. Carrie Ann talks about the drama that Priscilla creates. She also calls her out on the lift. Len says the dance seemed rushed. He also deducts a point for the lift.

Carrie Ann and Len give the dance a seven while Bruno gives it an eight. The couple has 22 points.

The next pair to dance is Julianne & Adam. Adam jokes that he’s going to Europe to model since Carrie Ann said he was sexy last week. Julianne wants Adam to stick to the dance and not offend anyone this week.

They are performing the paso doble. Adam comes out riding a unicycle and sporting a fake mustache. I have a feeling the judges won’t like this part of the routine. When he actually begins to dance, it doesn’t last long; he seems to do very little. The scary part of it is that the routine is entertaining.

Carrie Ann calls the dance interesting. Len says that Adam is loveable. Bruno mentions the benefits of psychoanalysis.

During the critiques, Adam says he is dressed like a silent porn star. Someone lets a naughty slip out.

Carrie Ann and Bruno award the dance with a six. Len is more generous and gives it a seven. Julianne & Adam have 19 points.

The next performance is from Marlee & Fabian. Marlee wants to beat Kristi this week. Fabian tells her that they have to pretend to love one another during the routine. The spinning of the Viennese waltz makes Marlee dizzy.

They are dancing to “Always a Woman.” While I’m watching the dance, I totally forget that Marlee can’t hear. Her moves are just that terrific. Fabian choreographs a beautiful, romantic routine. I bet it gave Carrie Ann chills.

Len says the dance was very, very good. Bruno tells Marlee that it is great watching her because she gets into the role. Carrie Ann is choked up; she can barely speak. She also thanks Marlee for moving her. See, I knew she’d like it.

Something happens with our local ABC station and the individual judges’ scores are not shown; however, I can tell you that overall, Marlee & Fabian have 24 points.

Up next are Karina & Mario. Karina wants Mario to focus and listen to her. He works the cape during practice. This tells us that they are doing the paso doble.

They're dancing to “Higher Ground.” Mario shows improvement tonight. While his moves aren’t perfect, he does show intensity and crispness. The last move confuses me though; Karina flips over his arms and lands in a split. Isn’t this technically a lift since her feet left the ground?

Bruno tells Mario he liked the dance very, very much. Carrie Ann says that she can tell Mario practiced more this week. Len admires Mario’s talent. He also says that Mario’s dance style is always the same, and he has underpants older than Mario.

Carrie Ann gives the dance an eight. Len gives it a seven. Bruno gives it an enthusiastic nine. Karina & Mario have 24 points.

The next routine is by Edyta & Jason. Edyta tells Jason to treat her like a proper lady. In response, he wipes his sweaty face on her shirt. She takes him to a knight to learn how to be a gentleman. I’m so confused at this point.

They're dancing the Viennese waltz to “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World.” Edyta’s lines are long and beautiful; this adds to the elegance of the dance; however, it feels as if Jason is too tall and lanky to pull this off this dance. He doesn’t do a bad job, except for stumbling, but for the second time tonight, the male celebrity doesn’t seem to do a lot during the routine.

Carrie Ann is moved once again, but in a different way. Len calls the dance a wow performance. Bruno refers to the dance as erotic. What the heck was I watching?

Carrie Ann and Bruno give the dance a goober. Len gives it a nine. Edyta & Jason have 29 points. I don’t get it.