UK Survivor 2, Episode 4: Food for Thought

It’s Day 11 on Bocas del Toro. A warm Caribbean sun rises over the ocean. All is calm on the islands. All of a sudden, a giant mutated killer frog rises out of the still waters and starts to devour South Island tribe.

No, sorry, that’s a figment of the imagination of the TV executives who are desperately hoping that something interesting happens to boost the ratings. Life on the islands is still relatively uneventful and now that Tayfun has gone, North Island tribe haven’t even got anyone to laugh at.

Anyway, it is reward challenge day. Today’s challenge is called the Ambassador’s Visit. This brings back memories of some dreadful commercials for Ferrero Roche chocolates a few years ago, featuring an ambassador’s attractive daughter passing round a tray containing a big pyramid of the aforementioned confectionery to assorted international luminaries at a swanky party. Much to the disappointment of the tribes, there is no chocolate involved this time. The challenge is a glorified memory test, whereby one member of each tribe visits the other tribe, finds out personal information about each of their members, then has to answer a series of questions on them. This is a highly original idea, which has not been seen on any UK reality TV show before, least of all both series of Big Brother. Yeah, right.

Susannah, much to her horror, is nominated as the South Island ambassador, while Helen for once steps forward and volunteers for North Island. Both Helen and Drew are still wisely staying quietly in the background within their tribe and letting the ‘males categorised by the first letter of the Greek alphabet’ provide the leadership (phew, I thought I might have to use the A*p*a word there). Alastair asks Helen to find out the vital statistics of the South women. That’s very A*p*a behaviour.

Helen and Susannah fly in a very non-environmental friendly helicopter to their alternate islands. Each bear gifts for the other tribe. Susannah brings North tribe a small soccer ball (although it is unclear where this actually came from), a big seashell, and some Calvin Klein underwear that Lee left behind. Nice. Helen meanwhile gives South tribe a comb. North definitely get the good end of the deal, soiled underpants notwithstanding.

South tribe have a cunning plan. They leave Helen with Bridget and let her ramble on about unrelated topics, in order to reduce the amount of time Helen has to find out information about the others. Bridget duly obliges with a discussion about the local jellyfish. Susannah meanwhile is not proving a popular ambassador. Drew tries to avoid speaking to her completely (although that is fairly normal behaviour for Drew). Meeta puts the boot in and calls her completely false, a drama queen and someone that will backstab her way to the million pounds. At last, some serious bitching! You go girl!

Later in the day, the tribes assemble for the questioning. It is sudden death and the first person to answer incorrectly loses. Both Helen and Susannah get their first four questions right, but Helen then falls down on naming the youngest member of the other tribe, meaning that South tribe’s run of success continues.

They are rewarded with the ingredients for a party: a crate of cold beer, some snacks and, somewhat bizarrely, a karaoke machine. Well this episode has already plagiarised Big Brother so now let’s bring in a bit of Pop Idol too. The drunken ‘musical’ performances however are not likely to win any recording contracts. The two Js take off their shirts and dance topless to ‘YMCA’. Jonny states that he wants to become the first national gay police icon. Sorry Jonny, George Michael beat you to it when he dressed up as a member of the LAPD in his ‘Outside’ video. Bridget and Susannah then join in the obligatory Abba song before things start to get seriously disturbing. Susannah croaks out a very deep-throated rendition of ‘Fly me to the moon’, reaching low notes that should be beyond any woman. Is she really a man? She is certainly devious enough for such an act of subterfuge. Bridget then starts singing ‘Stand by your man’, which is always a sure sign that everyone has had too much to drink and it’s time to go home.

Both tribes are more philosophical the next morning before the next immunity challenge. South do not want to lose a further member and go into merger as a minority. Bridget in particular knows that she would probably be the person to be evicted. On the other island, Meeta again states that she wants to leave should North not get immunity.

The challenge today is a stomach-turning buffet. Various local ‘delicacies’ are placed on a revolving table. Members of each tribe step up one by one and the table is spun. They then have to eat the item that ends up in front of them. Because of the disparity in numbers, John volunteers to go twice; lucky John.

Alastair and John step up first and get jackfish eyes, which look like pieces of dismembered brain left over from a B-movie. Both force themselves to swallow and chew as Meeta recoils in horror. Eventually, both manage to digest the eyes and display their tongues to prove that the items had been duly digested. Next up are Drew and Bridget, who are rewarded with bulls’ testicles, which Mark informs us are eaten with salt and vinegar (so they’re just like fish and chips really). Both munch their way through, although Bridget has difficulty in keeping hers down.

Dave and Jonny each get a big beetle, which they both chew and swallow after a dramatic biting off of the head movement. Helen and Susannah are both faced with large Panamanian earthworms, which, despite a futile escape bid by Helen’s worm, they also manage to consume. Finally Meeta and John (again) are faced with white worms. ‘I f**king knew it’ yells Meeta, before gingerly picking the worm up and swallowing, amid much clutching of throat and consumption of water. Fair play to Meeta, who could have deliberately thrown the challenge at this point to ensure North lose immunity and ensure her desired eviction, but still carried on trying to win for her tribe.

As both tribes managed to successfully consume all of their goodies, the challenge goes to a tiebreak (or, more accurately, an eat-off). One member of each tribe, to be chosen by the opposing tribe, has to munch their way through a smorgasbord of nasties, including live crabs, locusts and more white worms. First tribe to get through all of these items wins. Unsurprisingly, seeing her obvious discomfort, South tribe nominate Meeta, while North choose Jonny.

The two crabs take exception to their role in the proceedings and make an immediate attempt at escape when released from their coconut shell prison. Jonny chases his around the floor, while Meeta adopts the less subtle approach by bashing it to pieces with the coconut shell, in a scene that will no doubt have all of the animal-lovers watching (should there be any) firing off e-mails and letters of complaint. It is another close call, but Jonny just barely finishes first (although one would expect that a native of the land that gave the world haggis as a delicacy would have no problem in consuming any other living thing). So another triumphant victory for South tribe, although the smiles were pained, as the creatures consumed in the name of entertainment started to take their revenge on everyone’s digestive systems.

North tribe is feeling low (and not just because of the after-effects of the worms). This was their fourth lost challenge in a row, completely reversing their initial run of good fortune. Dave is homesick, but realises that everyone has to pull themselves together and get their confidence back. South tribe are grappling with different problems, namely their strategy from now on. The ‘professional alliance’ between the two Js and Susannah is under question. John believes that Jonny is playing ‘the grey man’ and secretly reinforcing his bonds with Susannah, though he considers that he still has a close link too. Not for the first time, her behaviour is coming under suspicion. The woman herself says that she would always stick to her word, but would be very careful in how she chooses those words, which is how she handled the non-existent alliance with Lee. Even if she doesn’t win Survivor, this girl should become a politician.

It was now time for a very wet tribal council and North tribe troop bedraggledly into the council chamber. This time, there was little doubt about the outcome. Meeta was voted off unanimously but graciously by the others, with smiley faces decorating all of their voting cards (there certainly won’t be any of those in a couple of votes time when things start to get nasty). Dave, the softie, praises her for her ‘lovely smile’.

Meeta however gives a fascinating and insightful post-eviction interview. She had had a tough upbringing in the slums of Calcutta, losing both of her parents at an early age and only having her brother for support. Compared to this, she thought that getting through Survivor would be a piece of cake, but in fact it had proved to her that she wasn’t quite as determinedly independent as she thought she was. This had made her reassess her priorities and, instead of toughing out life on her own, she now wanted to go home, marry her boyfriend, have lots of babies and live a normal life. Well, after plagiarising other reality shows in this episode, it was inevitable that a bit of Temptation Island crept in. If Mark Wahlberg were there, he might have said to Meeta ‘You’ve found the answer to your questions; your journey is over.’ Thankfully he wasn’t, as Meeta might have again used the f-word in response.

Next week: The tribes don’t know it yet, but it’s tribal merger! Hooray! Things might liven up now!

Be sure to sign up for our e-mail update so you can stay informed about new articles on the site and be registered for giveaways and special offers! You can find all of our articles about this show at the UK Survivor 2 Page, and take a look at our sections on Survivor: Marquesas Page and Reality TV Interviews. You can even buy reality show stuff at our Reality TV Store!

For even more news about reality TV, be sure to check out RealityTVFans.com, SirLinksALot and the Manly Man!