Surviving the Marquesas, Episode 10: Reporter Gets the Bad News

I don’t know about anybody else, but it doesn’t seem like a week has passed since the last episode of Survivor. Now, that may be because I’ve been busy, or because I run a reality TV website and so deal with it every day – I dunno. But I think it’s because this season has been more interesting, and stays with the viewer longer. You talk about it more with friends and coworkers, you think about it more, etc. But a new episode is indeed here, and with it a new recap. So let’s get on with it!

We begin on Day 28, with Paschal and Sean hugging. Sean says they all spoon and snuggle (Mike Boogie would be so jealous) – but it’s only to keep warm. They aren’t really the love tribe, he says. If people still stay friends at the end, that’ll be one thing, but for now certain people are genuine and others are not. He doesn’t think a love tribe can truly exist in the game of Survivor. For once, I agree with Sean.

Today is Vee’s birthday. Sean says it’s pretty subdued, but because she’s away from home and family, he tries to make her feel special – he even sings “Happy Birthday” to her later. Everybody else, as Paschal says, feels like “used spark plugs.” They are feeling the effects of a lack of food. They had tried to catch fish, but it wasn’t happening and now Tammy says their low energy levels make it even less likely.

But that doesn’t stop Kathy from trying. Some baby blacktip sharks swim around their beach area, and Kathy is determined to hack one. Well, determined or not, it doesn’t happen. Some of the others sit around and talk about desserts they wish they could have. Coincidentally, Survivor sponsor Snickers is mentioned at least twice. But Kathy has no time for sugary talk. They need to do something about the food situation.

Treemail for the reward challenge indicates that it involves swimming. Sean can basically swim a short distance to save his life, but that’s about it, so the others encourage him.

Indeed, the challenge does involve swimming – as host Jeff Probst describes it, an island version of musical chairs. No music, though. Er, and no chairs. Instead, there are shells underwater, placed near bright yellow rocks. There is one less shell than there are players. For three rounds, one person is eliminated each time as they dive in, swim to the shells, go under, and bring ‘em back up. Oh, and they’re playing for a day on a cruise ship. We’re not talking Carnival here – a small ship, but still one with hot showers and good food. Oh, and the winner gets to put it all on Probst’s Visa card. Wow, two sponsors mentioned and it’s not even halfway into the show yet.

In the first heat, Vee gives up quickly. This gives Sean and Neleh plenty of time to catch their breath and get the shells, though Sean is obviously exhausted by the effort. Second heat sees Sean being eliminated, and Neleh is third. Every time Kathy jumps into the water, I cringe at the belly flop she does. It makes me hurt. Ouch.

The final four now have a different task. Remember those yellow stones? They each weigh about 40 pounds, and the first person to bring one onto the beach from out in the water wins. The problem, of course, is that people can barely lift ‘em, let alone swim with ‘em.

Paschal is the first to figure out the best way to get the stone in. He dives down, picks it up, runs under water with it as far as he can, and then gives it a good push before heading back up for air. He jumps ahead and makes it to the beach quickly enough that he can walk the final distance – which is good, ‘cus I don’t think he had it in him to run after all of that. Paschal wins!

The next morning, Paschal’s ship comes in. Probst arrives in a smaller boat to take Pappy to the cruise ship. As we’ve seen before, just as Paschal gets to Probst, the host tells him he can bring somebody else along. Without even thinking twice, he screams for Neleh to join him. Paschal calls her the “epitome of a young lady that deserves it.” Later, we hear from Sean that because it was Vee’s birthday, he thinks Paschal should have picked her. Yeah, right, that was likely.

As the smaller boat takes them to the ship, Paschal and Neleh sit together, with his hand on her knee. Hey, watch that, Pappy!

They sign in with Probst’s Visa and are taken to their cabin. It’s a nice room with new clothes and some candy. They both look in the mirror and are rather shocked and dismayed by what they see. After a nice shower, some lotion, etc., they feel like new again. Well, almost.

Then it’s time for the food. Both are incredibly excited when the bread and butter is brought out. Yes, you can tell these people have been without real food for a month. Meanwhile, we see the others on the island with their smashed shellfish meal. Ah, but shells are in Paschal’s and Neleh’s future as well – escargot is next on the menu. Then a nice steak and veggies, and finally, dessert. The total comes to $312 dollars, but as Paschal says, it’s not his money. If my ears didn’t deceive me, he even generously gave the waiter a $200 tip (as if the whole thing wasn’t paid for in advance – but it’s another opportunity to show the Visa card).

As the night draws to a close, the others are waiting for the twosome to return, hoping that they manage to smuggle some food. Alas, ‘twas not to be. They come back clean and smelling fresh (as Robert finds by sticking his face in Neleh’s hair), but without any contraband food. Well, unless you count the half-eaten mint hard candy that Neleh offers to share. Um, thanks, but no thanks.

Kathy thinks Neleh went on a bit too much about the shower. She’s so damned sweet. Tammy says the food sounded really good, which kinda sucked. Neleh says she feels horrible about telling them all about it, but keeps right on going anyway.

The next day dawns and Sean is already complaining. He says Neleh still is on a clean kick, with her feet propped up admiring her toes. He says there are chores to be done! She gives the perception of working without actually doing any.

Hello?

Was I having a bizarre hallucination? Is Sean channeling Hunter? This is Sean, the man who equated any amount of work with “slavery.” Sean, who whined and bitched and moaned about the chores.

And now suddenly he’s concerned that somebody else is slacking off? Irony, thy name is Sean.

But enough of that. Besides complaining about her supposedly lacking work ethic, he also says Neleh has snowed Paschal and the others – she is playing the game harder than anybody else. This whole sweetness and light thing is just a cover, I guess.

Kathy says Neleh is 60-70% sweet, 30-40% work. She is hiding under Paschal’s wings for protection. Jeez, is this the “pick on Neleh” episode?

In other news, Robert wants to snare a pig. He figures if he gets a pig for supper, nobody would vote him off even if Tammy wins immunity. Um, yeah, sure. You just convince yourself of that. While providing food always is helpful, and is indeed one of my rules for playing the game, Robert is a bit too far gone for that, I think. But it certainly couldn’t hurt.

Or could it? They receive a surprise treemail that says the immunity challenge is that night. Robert has been working hard on his snare all day and so is a bit more tired than the others. Will that make a difference? We’ll see.

The challenge is a race for fire. They first have to find firewood and other flammable objects in the dark. Then they try to start a fire with flint and steel. That fire must burn under a pan of oil and popcorn kernels until at least one pops. Once it pops, they take part of their fire over to a small tower, which they need to light until the top catches. First one to complete it all wins immunity.

Vee lights her fire first, followed quickly by Robert, then eventually Kathy, Sean, and Neleh. Robert manages to pop some corn first, with Vee close behind. Robert maintains his lead at the tower, getting it to light up the night before anybody else. So I guess Robert’s hard work on the pig snare didn’t negatively affect him after all – and he doesn’t even have to worry about catching something to stick around.

In an episode that has been pretty devoid of plotting, it’s finally time. Robert wants to find a way to save Tammy. Kathy thinks Tammy has some sort of plan – she’s gonna pull a rabbit out of her hat. Maybe she’ll get Vee to switch sides; after all, Vee has flipped more than anybody.

Sean appears to be thinking along the same lines. He says if he and Vee teamed up with Tammy and Robert, it would be an automatic trip to the final four. Or would it? He is afraid maybe Tammy and Robert would take this information and go to the others to replace he and Vee in the five-person alliance. Still, he tells Vee it’s important they vote off Neleh – she’s just too sweet to be allowed to make it into the finals.

As they get to Tribal Council, I get the feeling I’ve gotten from other episodes – the outcome is obvious, but Mark Burnett threw just enough other distractions in there to make it seem like it’s not so obvious.

Probst says the question of the night is what people are tired of. Neleh, unsurprisingly, is tired of dirt. Kathy is tired of the beach, the bugs, the monotony, the grime, and the rashes and infections that threaten to make all of her skin fall off. Paschal is sick of the daily grind, the same food, the conditions, everything. Probst asks him how valuable, on a scale of 1-10, the reward challenge was. Paschal answers, “Seven million.” (Which goes to support my theory that most lawyers are not very good at math.) He says nothing could have invigorated him more.

So, what was Kathy’s reaction? She says she was jealous of them and had a difficult time with all of the descriptions, but Paschal did incredible at the challenge and deserved it. And, well, he chose to take Neleh with him.

It finally comes to that question for Robert: Will he give somebody else immunity? After all, he was saying he wished there was some way to save Tammy. Apparently, he meant some way other than risking his own skin – he holds on to it.

Time for the vote. Kathy votes for Tammy, saying she’s wonderful, but is lethal competition. We don’t see any other votes, but hear Tammy saying the person for whom she’s voting doesn’t seem to be pulling as much weight as the others – of course, we are supposed to believe this means she voted for Neleh.

She didn’t. Tammy and Robert vote for Vee. All the others vote, unsurprisingly, for Tammy. It’s time for the reporter to go. So much for my earlier predictions that she would win. As she leaves, Robert sadly droops his head on Paschal’s shoulder. Awww.

In her final words, Tammy says that even though she knew it was coming, it still sucks. She played the way she said she would, and is proud of the way she played. She hopes the remaining players have it in them to make it to the end, because she’s not sure they do.

Indeed, the previews for next week indicate that everything is taking its toll on the islanders. But then an event occurs to shake up the tribe. Hmmm.

I guess we’ll just have to wait to find out what that event is, but I have a prediction. I predict it won’t be that big a deal and that we are simply being (mis)led to believe it will be. I base this prediction on four seasons of experience seeing the previews do the same thing over and over again.

So that’s it for this week. Keep an eye out for all the rest of our Survivor coverage in the coming days!

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