From what I could gather, NBC is apparently taking the Stiller/DeNiro flick, and combining it with the episode of The Bachelor where Alex had to sit through those awkward meals with the families of his final three fiancée-wannabes. This is going to be an entire series.
You thought choosing a spouse from a herd of Alaskan men was fun? Wait until you see people find their prospective mates in front of their new darling’s parents! One twist seems to include unannounced interventions from the contestants’ exes. They apparently will swarm in with no warning, eat up all the hors d’ouevres, and dish the dirt with the prospective spouse. (“Oh, yeah, Bob’s a great guy… his old high school buddies are a barrel of laughs. They usually show up at 3 a.m., drunk out of their gourds. And if little, inconsequential things like forgetting to flush the toilet, and calling you “mommy” during sex don’t bother you, you’ll be a perfect match.”)
But what I can’t wait for is the Lie Detector. Yes, boys and girls, just like in the film Meet The Parents, the men (and maybe the women?) will be strapped into a lie detector, complete with a mustachioed expert to read aloud the results. (Did NBC even try to get DeNiro for this part? No one shows enough initiative at work these days.) The commercial shows a stern father loudly asking one such strapped in young man, “DO YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH MY DAUGHTER?” The suspect… er, I mean, contestant, instead of demanding to speak with an attorney, loudly replies, “No!” Mr. Mustachioed Expert shakes his head slowly, indicating that a falsehood has been stated.
Now, I’m no expert on lie detectors. I can’t even figure out why they still look like a 1960s grade school science project. Please, we need some product designers here. I know my confidence in such a machine would be greatly enhanced if there were several LED displays, a monitor hook-up, and lots of gleaming chrome. But I digress. Answering “No!” to a loaded question like that is just not the way to go. When one is attached to a lie detector, faced with a growling father demanding if you want to take his precious little girl to bed, wouldn’t a better response be:
“No, sir. I have no attraction to your daughter at all. Her body, mind and spirit do not fill me with wonderment, love, and dreams of the future. I do not think she is the most amazing, intelligent, sensitive, talented woman I have ever met. I do not want her to be the mother of my children, and grow old with me as I make sure she never wants for anything the rest of her life. ”
See how this would work? Mr. Mustachio would then say, “Liar, liar, pants on fire!”; daughter would swoon; daughter’s parents would be completely flummoxed. Oh, and don’t go telling me you can only give yes or no answers to a lie detector test. This is supposed to be a reality show. Who says it has to be true to life?
When all is said and done, the show’s website says, “The ultimate victor will enjoy a week in Hawaii with the woman of his dreams – if he gets her family's blessings.”
Look for Meet My Folks on NBC on July 15 at 10/9 Central. Now, someone pass the guava jelly.
Andrea Shuman didn’t tape this promo, so she might have missed some disclaimers, warnings, or the fact that it could’ve been broadcast by an alien civilization in order to collectively lower the IQ of the entire planet. If you have any information about this, please email her at ABostonGal@yahoo.com.
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