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American Idol, Week 3: Dana's Justin & Two Others Move On
by Dana Walker
-- 07/10/2002
After a fairly tough competition, we've got the second group of three who move on. Once again, the judges got it right for the first pick but weren't in synch with the rest of America after that.
Here we are, the next ten semi-finalists. The tension is palpable as the kids await their turns at hitting the stage.
And, maintaining my system from last week’s review:
Alexis – She’s a beautiful girl, so I’m sure that won’t hurt her in the voting. She sings the karaoke staple “I Will Survive.” Her stage presence is good, as is her vocal… but she rushes through the entire thing. (I advise you to work on your timing, my dear.) Randy gives his approval, saying it’s the best he’s ever seen her; Paula notes that she’s come out of her shell; Simon is disappointed by the fact that she chose this karaoke classic, but says that she sang it great anyway.
Gil – This is the first we’ve seen of Gil, who chooses “Ribbon in the Sky” by Stevie Wonder. And – WOW. Color me impressed. He has an exceptional voice and delivers a breathtaking, emotive performance. (My only complaint is his obvious lisp, which isn’t a particularly appealing speech impediment to have as a singer.) Paula likes that Gil is now presenting an air of confidence and personality, which he had been lacking before. Randy remarks about how that was an extremely tough song to sing (no kidding), and gives him a “good job.” Simon says that although Gil doesn’t look like an American Idol, he sounds like one. Unfortunately, this is true by the already-established-and-beaten-to-death standard, but who cares? He was phenomenal.
Angela – she has selected “Run to You,” which was written for the soundtrack of the obscenely horrible film “The Bodyguard.” Again, we haven’t heard from Anglea before this, and I absolutely love the timbre of her voice, but find myself wishing that she’d chosen “All the Man That I Need” (another Whitney Houston song that this girl could absolutely tear up) instead. Regardless, she owned the song (not to mention how cool her outfit is… she’s got great style.) Randy points out that she has chosen a tough song and has injected too many runs in it, but that her vocal was great; Paula and Simon actually AGREE (!) and say that Angela has made the song her own and delivered a fantastic performance. (With these first three singers, it’s clear that the quality of talent is just getting better and better… or so I thought.)
AJ – He sings “All or Nothing” by O-Town, and delivers an appropriately boy-group-wussy-cheese-coated performance without the necessary confidence or enthusiasm those well-trained pups possess. Note: I steadfastly refuse to use the term “boy band.” U2 is a band; Dave Matthews Band is a band (so much so that the word is baked right in). Backstreet Boys, 98°, etc. are industry-induced conglomerations of not-even-remotely-appealing-to-anyone-over-the-mental-age-of-sixteen poseurs. But back to the poseur at hand. You know, I liked AJ’s voice at first, but he is so painfully lacking in originality that I find his presentation almost embarrassing. Randy didn’t feel it; Paula only felt his lack of energy; and Simon, the mouthpiece of reason, says (allow me to paraphrase), “Nice voice. BORING performer. And your laughing in the middle was hideous. And that shirt is awful.” I think Simon is being too kind, but since AJ’s lip is beginning to quiver, maybe I’m just becoming more and more evil as the weeks pass.
Tenia – She’s wearing a prom dress. Her face is twitching. She’s blinking an awful lot. Oh, and she’s singing “The Greatest Love of All.” (What’s with the Whitney/karaoke trend here?) Her nerves are exposed, and her performance is way overdone to compensate. Paula says she looks stunning and that she’s done a nice job on a tough song. Randy simply states, “Good job.” Simon begins with “Ambitious… but I don’t think you’re that good of a singer,” and ends with, “I don’t agree with the outfit, and I don’t think you pulled off the song.” But rather than accept his criticism graciously, Miss Miami Bridesmaid smiles and, with hands-on-hips and a vindictive gleam in her eye (oh, honey… don’t go there…), whips out “Well, let’s hear you sing, Simon.” I offer this recommendation to the next ten singers – avidly avoid weak, insecure jabs such as this one on national television, please. If you’re going to take a stab at the master, at least make sure to aim high and strike deep.
Alexandra – She performs the song “Save the Best for Last.” She’s even more nervous than Tenia, and her breath support continually fails her. Overall her performance is lackluster and unconvincing. Randy borrows Simon’s favorite word and dubs it “Miami karaoke.” Paula says, “There’s a lot of competition in that room,” and continues her trend of stealthily avoiding being the bad guy. Simon, being the very definition of “bad guy,” sums it up succinctly: “You’ve just performed ‘Save the Best for Last.’ Well, you didn’t.”
Jazmin – Yet another underexposed member of the American Idol top 30, she has a pretty voice and good dynamic control… but she’s sorta dull and kinda whiny. Paula likes that she chose a tough song and sang through her nervousness; Randy gives her the uncharacteristic smackdown with, “I didn’t think that was good at all.” Simon disagrees with Randy – he thinks she was brilliant, adding, “You are real.” Um, okay.
Jamar – He has selected “Careless Whisper;” he’s nervous as hell, sings sharp notes consistently, and then ends it with a run that is more “major train wreck” than vocal accomplishment. Yikes. Randy says he’s seen him much better. (I should hope so.) Paula wasn’t crazy about his song selection, noting that the key was too high for his range. Simon repeats, “You shouted the song,” a couple of times before shaking his head and declining further comment.
Kelly – She’s cute, but utterly forgettable. Her version of “Respect” is terrific, vocally speaking, but she just lacks… groove. Despite having nothing definable about her, Randy and Paula both love her. Simon is speechless. He takes the thought right out of my head, dubbing her “forgettable.”
(My) Justin – He also performs the song “Ribbon in the Sky.” I’m disappointed that he chose the same piece as Gil, and I’m even more thwarted by the fact that he doesn’t make me feel it the way Gil did. Still, his charisma is woven throughout the entire song, and he remains my Justin. Paula enjoyed his “quiet sincerity;” Randy says, “That wasn’t amazing, but it was consistent.” Simon – “Gil sang it better… but you have the X factor.”
My votes went to Justin (of course), Gil, and Angela, but I predicted that the winners would be Justin (for obvious reasons), Alexis (because she’s talented and looks the part), and… I’m terrified to admit this, but I know the music-buying public way too well… AJ.
The next evening we discover that 6.9 million viewers voted – kudos to Fox TV for broadcasting this show in the middle of repeat season.
Ryan & Brian talk a bit with the kids, then the judges predict that Justin will win the first chair (thus being the one who received the most votes). Then we return to the kids driving around in Fords yet again – can’t you show them at Dodger stadium or something? – and more “Golden Moments” (i.e., horrifyingly awful auditions from the first round.)
Imagine that! Justin is the winner of the first chair. (I can hear the cheering all the way from Bucks County, PA.) He talks about the fine line between confidence and conceit, and that he just loves to perform. That’s good, darlin’… you just keep performing.
Ta-MEE-ka comes back with her oh-so-special commentary (what’s next – is this girl going to have her own talk show?). Regarding Tenia: “Were you saving your prom dress for a special occasion? This wasn’t it.” About AJ: “You are a pale, boring, Backstreet Boy reject.” And to Justin: “Oh my God, Justin… you could sing the phone book to me and I’d be happy.” Well said.
We’re then subjected to the entire “Golden Moment” of the most hideous girl on the planet attempting to sing “Genie in a Bottle.” Actually, she looks a lot like Christina Aguilera… same bleached out nest of hair, same 18 pounds of makeup… only Christina weighs in at about 87.5 pounds while this girl… well, doesn’t. Anyway, it’s more uncomfortable than amusing.
So we finally get around to who won the second chair. The judges’ picks are: Randy – Angela; Paula – Alexis; and Simon – Gil.
And it’s Kelly.
(Who?)
Oh yeah… the forgettable chick. Well, she’s from Texas, thus proving that being from such a big-ass state can greatly increase the number of votes cast in your favor. Congrats, Kelly.
More time-killer stuff happens (nothing of note) before we hear from the remaining contestants. Gil speaks directly to Paula, thanking her for her support and advice, and asks her if she’d go out on a date with him. (Aww!) She accepts, saying she’d be honored. Simon practically starts to gag, rolling his eyes so far he probably suffered a sprain. Then the hosts, Ryan and Brian – sorry to say this, guys, but the attempts at humor scripted for you keep falling so flat that I have no need to mention any of them – ask the judges for a live prediction of who will win the third chair. All three agree (amazingly enough) on Alexis.
But NO!! It goes to AJ.
My reaction? I can’t put it in print… my mom will be upset by the blatant usage of expletives.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!? Is creativity considered a mortal sin in this country?!? I mean no offense to AJ – he actually can sing – but I would prefer to have someone with a modicum of ORIGINALITY here. (No wonder the cloning concept gets so much funding in the U.S.)
AJ is as shocked as the judges. Simon’s remark: “I think the vote is a major mistake.” No kidding.
Looking at this positively, though, this pretty much guarantees that my top choices (Justin and Tamyra) have absolutely no competition yet. However, this also confirms that a) far too many adolescent girls have their own phone lines, and b) we need to establish a national bedtime for anyone under the age of 16 – QUICKLY – in order to avoid such an enormous error from happening again.
I’m still guessing Adriel will be the wild card, but now that most of the real talent has been left behind, it’s become a really tough call.
The next group of ten will compete next Tuesday at 9:00 pm. Parents, I implore you – send the kids to bed early that night.
Dana Walker is a writer/singer/songwriter/former reality show contestant living in the Los Angeles area. Contact her at LilDanaSunshine@msn.com.
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