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Big Brother 3’s Amy: A Serious Look at Her Behaviorby Anonymous -- 08/01/2002
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There's something about Amy that really bothers me. Actually, it isn't Amy herself – I think she is a great girl, though she goes way too heavy on the makeup. But watching Amy, seeing her parents, and her interactions with the other houseguests reminds me of watching a train wreck. I can see it about to happen, and even though I am yelling to "stop," she's going to wreck. I cannot believe no one else has noticed this and no one is taking steps to stop the train. I only hope that in writing this article that someone who knows Amy or someone at CBS can see this and get Ms. Crews the help she needs before it is too late. I realize this is strong, but Amy has me worried. See, when I look at Amy, I see myself 15 years ago – in more ways than one.
I am frightened.
This is the hardest thing I have ever written. I am letting skeletons out of closets when they should have stayed there. But maybe if my skeletons can help someone, it will be worth it.
When I look at the live feeds and what is written on various daily log sites, I only reinforce what I feel in my gut: Amy has a serious problem. It is so upsetting to me that after the first episode I called a dear friend of mine and asked him what he thought of the houseguests. When we got to Amy, I told him flat out, "She’s a baby alcoholic."
He did reel. We are both intellectual people, good judges of character. But he did not see this. To me it was as obvious as the nose on my face. "How can you tell?," he asked. I paused.
"You know there is such a thing as Gaydar," I said.
He said, yes, of course, but wondered what I knew about alcoholics. Another long pause. I could have read a novel during this pause.
"Oh yes," he finally said. "I forgot. I still don't believe you that you were once an alcoholic."
But I am. And as I look at Amy I see the signs. She is so much like me, like so many of us, it scares me to watch her.
Like I said, this is the hardest thing I have ever written. If you look at me, you wouldn't know. I do not look like someone who was pouring grain alcohol in my wine so I could get drunk faster. Nor do I look like someone who was strapped down to a bed because I had the DT's. I have been sober for a very long time. September 26, 1995, I had my last drink.
But when I was Amy's age I could have passed for her clone. Amy is an intelligent woman, and a shrewd judge of character. She also has some sense of humor – she was absolutely brilliant as the beauty pageant MC.
I don't know Amy's story. I don't know when she started drinking. I know I didn't ever have anything until I went away to college. I know I would get drunk the first weekend of the each new semester, and right after finals. So did everyone else I know.
I know that I was incredibly shy when I went away to college, and having a wine cooler in my hand made it easier for me to talk to people – especially the boys. I was petrified they would find out I hadn't even swapped spit by the time I went to college, let alone the fact I was a virgin. But give me a Bartles & Jaymes and I was unflappable. I was funny. I was popular. And it was great. Being noticed by the boys was great. Going to Frat parties was great. Everything was great.
The second time in my life I had a blackout should have been my wake up call, especially with the predisposition to alcohol in my family. But I won't bore the reader with the details of my story. Suffice it to say it included binge drinking in college and in my twenties. In my thirties, I went two years without and then, one weekend, I had a bender. And then another long patch of sobriety, a year or two because I dreaded the hangover. Then one binge that lasted about three months ended with me losing my job and living out of my car.
Why am I going through all of these details? Simple. The signs are there for Amy. Go to any Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and you will see similar signs. Pouring drinks but making sure you have more than your guests. Obsessing with alcohol. And so on. People notice. The first clue was the incident with Tonya. But others in the house have made the same comment.
Last night even Marcellas made a comment about Amy's drinking. Amy's drinking caused everyone in the house to notice. They aren't blind. The houseguests also see a train wreck in the making. It is a foregone conclusion that Amy is history in that house. Her eviction will be largely due to her drinking, and she even acknowledged it in last night’s episode. In her first day inside, she had several beers before the tree sitting game started and then drank them during the game as well – not to mention that beer was one of the first things she grabbed for her bag. Yet another sign that Amy has the potential for a serious drinking problem.
I just hope that when Amy does leave, and she looks at the tapes and the live transcripts. This may be her bottom, and she can stop. It's hard. But Amy has so much potential for having a good life, so many wonderful things can happen to her.
But she has to get rid of the drinking and let people who really care about her into her life. She deserves a wonderful life.
I know this sounds preachy, but as somebody who has been there and been at the bottom looking up, I only hope someone will show her this essay. As I said earlier, it was the hardest thing I have ever written. I hope it does some good.
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