Inside the House with Kent: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Busy Man

It's been a while since I've written missives on the current offering of Big Brother. There are many reasons but foremost is that I've been very busy.

Just the other day, I was contacted by CNN International requesting my appearance on a program dealing with reality television. I responded to the producer in the affirmative and began ironing my favorite shirt. They then contacted me back and said they were told by CBS that it would be "better to use Nicole." Thanks but your services are not needed. Good old CBS, always there with a helping hand.

Then I was contacted by the head honcho at the Piggly Wiggly Supermarket. They wanted to have me do the ribbon cutting on their new store. I pulled out my coolest socks and began ironing them. Then, I was told my appearance wasn't needed. They apparently opted to go with the guy from the rescue mission who can blow milk through his nose while humming the Star Spangled Banner. I can't blame them, he's awesome.

My neighbor called and asked if I would watch for the cable guy for him while he was gone. He apparently is having cable problems and needed to have me let him into his house. I dutifully retrieved the key from him and placed my chair in his driveway awaiting the arrival of this important visitor. I waited and waited and the cable guy never showed. What's that all about? A cable guy who doesn't show up when he's scheduled? Huh, beats me.

Then my wife and kids invited me to the water park with them to celebrate my 8-year-old's birthday. I ironed my swimsuit and waited for the important day. As we were getting ready to leave, the kids from across the street came over and my daughter asked if they could go with us. No problem, but there wasn't enough room in the van for everyone. Yep, you got it. I got tossed and stayed home discussing the nonappearance of the cable guy with my neighbor. I heard they had fun at the park.

Oh, and I was called two weeks ago by a radio station in Tucson, Arizona, that wants to interview me. I ironed my ascot and began sitting around with hot tea and throat lozenges and the phone in my lap awaiting the call. It was scheduled for a week ago, but I'm still here and I'm sure they'll call soon. It's just hard to sleep with the phone under my head. I do check outside every now and then to see if the cable guy is coming up my neighbor's driveway.

But enough about me, I just wanted to let you know why I've been so busy. Best of all, all my stuff is now ironed and I'm ready to rock.

Back to Big Brother 3. I got in trouble with Arnold Shapiro right after Lori got evicted. I told the world that the reason her family was not there to greet her when she was evicted is because they are keeping the first few houseguests in seclusion with a competition to come that will give them the chance to get back in the house. Arnold's representative who called me said he was "disappointed" that I would spread rumors about the show. That let me know that it wasn't rumor, but fact. I guess I'll get a call now telling me that Arnold is "disappointed" that I would talk about him being disappointed. I'm never discussing this again for fear of waking up one morning with Tonya's bikini top in my bed as a warning. Arnold is a very powerful man.