American Idol’s Simon Tells It Like It Is in TV Guide

The August 17 issue of TV Guide features an article about Simon Cowell, the now well-known “mean” judge of American Idol. But while the article features a (pretty bad) picture of Simon, we can learn at least as much about fellow judge Paula Abdul by reading it.

Paula, of course, is the nice judge – the one who never has anything bad to say. Or, as Simon would say, the patronizing one. In the article, Paula calls Simon “sadistic” and says if auditions were really as nasty as he makes them on the show, “there would be no entertainment industry.” A little hyperbole, perhaps? Simon responds, “That is one of the most stupid things I have ever heard anybody utter in my life.”

Simon admits that they simply do not like each other, though he then tweaks her by saying, “I really do believe she wants to get it on with me. She’ll deny it, but I can feel it.” Abdul responds that it will “be a cold day in hell.” I wonder if she came up with that herself or used the comedy writer she has hired specifically to provide her with snappy comebacks so she can engage in a battle of wits with Simon. It certainly explains how she suddenly started scoring a few humorous points whereas before she seemed unarmed.

Indeed, one place where she could have used the writer was when Simon had tried, on one show, to make a point about how she, Ryan, and Brian (the hosts) would not be doing anything to help the losing contestants even though they always gave them praise. Paula completely misunderstood him and went on about how she has won Grammy awards. In this interview, he made the same point – without anybody to interrupt him. He asks if Paula will be taking the losers’ calls in six months. He won’t be, and says so straight out. You can bet Paula won’t either (nor will Ryan or Brian), but you won’t hear her being so blunt about it. In fact, you won’t hear her being blunt about anything.

Another area in which Simon is blunt deals with the friendly atmosphere amongst the contestants, which he has hinted at on the show a couple times. He says they are either hypocrites or, if they really are happy that one of their competitors outsung them, they should just leave the show.

This raises a valid point. In last night’s show, for example, Simon told RJ that there were three other singers in the competition who are better than he is. The audience – including axed contestants Ryan and Jim – booed. Why? Did they even realize what they were booing? Are they really going to say that Tamyra, Kelly, and Justin are not better than RJ? I’m sorry, but this is not a communist utopia where all people are the same – not everybody has an equally good singing voice. This is a competition to find the best. Yet they boo when Simon says there are better singers. Why didn’t they boo when he said Tamyra should win? After all, that would mean the others would lose. Would they boo the Olympics because somebody came in fourth place, instead of everybody getting the Gold?

Ah, but that’s not the way they look at it. All praise is good, all criticism is bad. The problem is that they are wrong, and Simon is right.

David Bloomberg is the Editor of RealityNewsOnline, and can be reached at rno@pobox.com.

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