Answers to Some American Idol Finale Questions

In David's "Thoughts and Impressions" article for the final week of American Idol, he raised a number of interesting questions. Fulfilling my role as resident wise-ass, I figured I'd answer them. No need to thank me:

• Can somebody explain to me again how it was that Christina was voted out when she was?

It was a c-o-n-spiracy! My love for Christina Christian remains unchanged (so what if she's engaged - it could happen...). But what was up with the right angle hair-do? If only she'd asked me first. I just hope Christina's future doesn't boil down to singing hooks and prancing around rappers. The road to fame is littered with those types.

• Does EJay think that by copying Justin's hair he will magically gain his talent?

Yes. I think EJay sounded very good last night. My temporary roommate looked at me puzzled and said "He didn't get further than Nikki?" I just said, "Don't get me started." It's too bad that no one will ever love EJay as much as EJay loves EJay. He's started believing his clippings before he's had any!

• Does Ryan still think she is a tomboy in those outfits?

Ryan looked and sounded pretty good last night. Amazing what nerves will do to you. They REALLY GOT HER! (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

• When Nikki danced near the audience, did she expect anybody to be waving dollar bills?

Hell, yes. I have bashed Nikki enough for one season. I was ready to let her go peacefully... until... she had to HOG the last note from Kelly on the AI finale. Of the other nine people on that stage, she was the LAST one that I wanted to hear utter another slightly off-key note! It's 14:59 Nikki.

• Has Randy Jackson decided to leave record producing and become a pimp?

Well, they say Snoop Dogg has quit smoking pot. There is a position available. I've heard a lot of guff about Randy's qualifications to be there. He does know the biz. I've seen him playing bass with Journey on the Raised On Radio Tour, so he can also say he has 'worked with the great Steve Perry.' As for that hat, he got it at the boutique next door to where Christina Christian got her hair done.

• Just how many dollar signs was Simon thinking of as he smiled throughout the evening?

Two million. That's the sum that Fox's Good Day Live is saying Simon signed for. I could hurl some saucy insults for half that.

• Did the producers already know Kelly had won when they paired her with Will Young while they paired Justin with Tamyra?

I bet they did. It was an interesting "coincidence." To be fair, I think Will represented himself much better Wednesday night, and his version of "The Sweetest Feeling" is available on for download. It was much better than he performed Tuesday night. I chalk it up nerves again.

• Will Will Young last more than a week if producers go through with the "Global Idol" idea of putting up various country's Idols against each other?

Well, he is awfully pretty. It worked for RJ. Remember when he advanced after FORGETTING THE WORDS TO HIS SONG! I am also curious to see how South African Idol winner Heinz Winckler would do. Pretty? Yes. Talented? Not so much!

Well, that takes care of David's questions - I'll always be here, ready and waiting to answer any new ones!

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