Big Brother 3: In Defense of Stupid Houseguests

The first thing that must be answered is the question "why?" Why should anyone defend a stupid houseguest who makes dumb mistakes? Well, for want of a better reason, I am sick of hearing about obvious shortcomings. What's not so obvious is why people do stupid things.

So why do they do it? Because they love themselves and want to share themselves with the world. Marcellas, the latest example of this, was ejected Thursday evening after bizarrely refusing to take himself off the block. He claimed he was not able to inflict harm on others and therefore he would stay in harm's way for them. Whaa? So then why did he spend the last two months trashing every person in sight? Well, Marcellas lives in the moment and is on television and on the internet cameras every moment of the day and so of course he is deluded. People set up their own poetic justice in certain ways. Previously when Marcellas refused to acknowledge to Julie Chen, the intrepid hostess of our show, that it was in fact Gerry who he had to thank for being in the house, it gave him bad karma. He seemed to believe that he had only himself to thank for being in the house. And now he has only himself to thank for being out of the house.

And Roddy - another case of brilliant stupidity. Roddy, according to exit interviews, still believes that being casual with people's emotions is actually kindness. Go on and believe whatever jibber jabber you like. While Roddy did refrain for the most part from trashing people behind their backs, he just trashed them to their face - bringing to mind the words of the immortal Oscar Wilde: "Your friends you stab in the front." Amy was not trustworthy, Marcellas was a jackal, Danielle did not trust him, on and on - and he told it to them. On top of that he didn't know he wasn't God's gift to mankind and he spent weeks sleeping with someone who he couldn't stand.

Without going down the list of all those houseguests who have been evicted for dumb reasons, it's easy just to make a summary: Gerry talked too much, Lori talked too much, Tonya talked too much, Josh talked too much, Chiara talked too much, Roddy talked too much, Amy talked too much . . . a simple foible and one that easily goes wrong despite one's best intentions.

Do houseguests deserve to be trashed for their shortcomings? Whatever the answer is to this question, you have to admit that stupidity is not always a reason for getting evicted. A lot of stupid people are actually still in the house. Amy fell off the hammock, drank everybody's booze, laughed like a hyena, and clung to whoever she could - but she's still in the house. Danielle is lying left and right, trashing evicted houseguests, without a thought to the jury. Lisa doesn't say anything - at least, that's how it seems. Is that stupid or smart? Time will tell. Jason, a simmering cauldron if I ever saw one, may not be able to keep the lid on it until the end.

A friend of mine had a pressure cooker once that popped its steam cap and boiling tomato sauce began spewing all over the kitchen. Since it was still on the burner, and nobody could get close to it, they had to throw things at the pot to get it off the stove. Needless to say, the kitchen was a mess. Let's hope this is not Jason's fate.

It was pretty stupid that he went and sampled every disgusting entrée after the failure of the food competition. Sure, if you have to taste half a spoonful, it's not bad. If you have to eat half a gallon of grated taro roots or haggis in a minute, it's a different story. Why would he do that? Because he was royally pissed off at them and chose the passive-aggressive route to let them know. But is Jason stupid? Yes, being too perfect is stupid. Jason better tread carefully because it'll soon be apparent to them all that he'll pull off the $500 grand against any one of them. He could use a few slipups in the charm school manner to seem less of a threat.

But you have to admit that all of them are stupid. Anybody who goes on a national TV show to win money, have their bodies, minds, souls, and motives examined by Jerry Springer fans and internet nut-cases, and have their lives directed by dollar-sign-eyed mentally deficient TV producers, you have to admit, is not playing with a full deck. In the end, there is no defense - just acknowledgement that any one of us would probably do the same thing if we felt we had no choice - as most people who think they are God's gift to mankind do.

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