Big Brother 3: Danielle Was Robbed

Sting7 said it best in his article about whether the best player won Big Brother 3: "This ending bugs me."

It bugged me so much that I almost didn't write this. I'm so disgusted over last week's result that every time I think about it, I feel ill. If ever there was an urge to collectively pimp-slap nine people…. Deep breath, deep breath…. OK, I'm calm.

Sorry if I go off on a sister-gurl from Brooklyn rant (neck rolls included) but last night has got to be the second sorriest moment in reality television - the first being when we found out those two yahoos on the first Temptation Island had a child together. Anyway, I'm totally convinced that everyone in the Big Brother house this summer, with the exceptions of Jason and Danielle, was a moron. Pure and simple. Sting7, forgive me for biting your style as I one by one list why each voter deserves a slap.

Lori - The problem: What a dingbat. Anyone who read my last article, where I listed how I thought the voting would go, knows that I had Lori voting for Danielle -and she should have. I'm totally convinced that the producers coached those lame interview questions too. Why in the world did she bring up that old, short, stupid wanna-be argument over nasty Gerry not washing his hands? So that CBS could have us all wondering would she or wouldn't she vote for Danielle? When everyone with half a brain knew that she should have… everyone except Lori that is. When she pulled that key out and it said Lisa, I looked at my husband and I believe my exact words were, "Huh?" The Why: I'm guessing that she didn't want to be the only one not "down with the plan." Anyone who watched the live feed knows that the evicted houseguests were together on Monday taking photos, interviewing the final two and giving their final diary room confessions while Lisa and Danielle were on lockdown in the backyard. It's obvious that they all decided to make an example of Danielle for varied, yet all warped, reasons. Lori's being that this was her last chance to belong to the group that booted her out after one week. Pathetic.

Tonya - The problem: I understand her not voting for Danielle, but since this is my last chance to vent about the show, I thought I should mention that if she had an ounce of sense, she would have made mention that she had no real reason to vote for either woman - other than the fact that she had no choice. They both equally dogged her, but I knew that she would stick to that peanut butter bathing suit cartel and vote for Lisa. My two problems with Tonya are: 1. Marcellas had, by far, the two worst Tonya slams to his credit: "That's not a mother, that's a stripper masquerading as a mother." And: "She's not pretty. You look at her face closely and you can see every hard year of her life in the lines of her face." Ouch. Yet they hugged, as best one can hug Tonya, and made up, which has got to be the second phoniest moment in reality television. (I'll get to the phoniest in a moment.) 2. This woman went in the house and in less than a week told the houseguests all about her being on drugs while pregnant, the fact that she didn't have custody of her children, and the fact that she only married the man she did because she was so high on drugs and wanted one of his relatives instead. She told deep dark dirties that I wouldn't tell my priest, much less eleven strangers - and then wondered why she got no respect. The Why: One can only guess that spreading peanut butter on each other's chi-chis creates a bond that no amount of trash talking can break.

Amy - This was the vote that I was uncertain of. I know that both Danielle and Lisa had their fair share of Amy bashing and I don't think either one was particularly harsh on her. The problem: Ultimately, though I suspected it could happen, Amy voting for Lisa baffled me not because Lisa was so bad to her but because I don't think Danielle was either; so left with that, you would think that she would vote for the best player. You would think. But we are talking about Amy so…. The Why: Again, peer pressure. She was so happy that Chiara wasn't waiting for her with a six pack of whoop-ass, she would do anything to get into her and Roddy's good graces.

Eric - No problem with this vote and I expected it. The Why: Would you give him any if he didn't for you? His vote can be summed up in two words: Poo-nanny.

Josh - Proving once again that he's a moron. The problem: The only thing I ever agreed with Josh on is that most people go in that house with no real concept of how to play that game. They make these odd decisions and wonder later why they didn't win the money. He even said in the finale that anyone who would vote for Lisa over Danielle has no concept on how to play the game! What does he do? Vote for Lisa. The Why: Even he didn't know. He even threw the key across the room as if us not seeing her name on it would make his stupid decision suddenly okay. I agree with Sting7, Roddy must have batted those pretty eyes and Josh went all atwitter.