WWE Tough Enough 3, Episode 5: It’s All God’s Fault

Scott has always loved Hardcore matches, and he’d be honored if Dreamer would beat the crap out of him with a cane. The trainers seem eager to oblige. Will the streak of hospital visits continue?

Tommy asks if he’s sure he wants this. He’s sure. “Welcome to Tough Enough 3!” yells Tommy as he cracks the cane across Scott’s kidneys. Scott looks like his brain is about to explode out of his eyes. He’s got some nice red marks, and when Al asks if it was still an honor, he can barely stammer out an answer.

That was damned funny.

Attention switches to John, as Big tells us that he’s perhaps the best athlete in the group. John is, not Big, although Big looks to have lost a few pounds since last season. Big also notes that John needs to remember that he’s still a novice.

John wants to learn the more high-flying stuff. Instead of being good at the things everyone can do, he’d rather be good at things no one else can do. Whoah, there cowboy! You think maybe you should learn a bodyslam before your tables, ladders, and chairs match!

Jamie thinks she’s lagging behind, and she’s getting upset about her performance. Jonah thinks she wants to be in the WWE for the wrong reasons, like going on Jenny Jones. Not sure what that means.

Kelly lands wrong and feels something snap. She is taken into the training room, but says that even if she’s injured, she’ll still have to keep going and prove herself.

A few of the contestants decide to go out dancing, and we are… umm… “treated” to Jamie trying on various outfits to see which one she should wear. Nick thinks she wants the contract because she wants the whole world to like her.

Jamie gets toasted and kisses some guy. She doesn’t even remember later what he looked like. Well, now that you’ve seen the show, what did you think, Jamie?

In the car, Jamie starts bawling. She sobs that she wants this SO BAD! I almost long for one of Rebekah’s sermons at this point. Jamie tells us she’s crying because she wants this SO BAD! Um, yeah.

On the phone, Jamie says she feels stupid. She just wants to be good enough.

Dale pointed out to me that she’s probably got such low self-esteem, she’s trying too hard and annoying people. Well, she’s definitely annoying ME, but that’s not hard to do. We agree that, under normal circumstances away from the pressures of the show, Jamie is probably a lot more together than she appears. Which makes her different from quite a few of the others we’ve seen so far.

Returning from commercial, Big is talking to Jamie. He reassures her that “wanting it” is a good attitude to have, but if you hold something too tight it breaks. He thinks that all she needs is a little success to build self-confidence.

I’ll be honest, I disliked Jamie the first time I watched it, but the second time I can actually see that she’s not being irritating really… she’s just stressed.

Big takes them all on a shopping spree to a major footwear retailer. Hey, sorry for not mentioning their name specifically – if I were going to plug something it would be Dale’s new book, You Never Can Tell: Urban Legends of Rock ‘n’ Roll, available for pre-order at Amazon.com (in case you’ve missed the rotating skyscraper ad about it on the lefthand column).

Where was I? Oh, yeah. I really hate cheap plugs in the middle of shows like that.

They go on to a physical challenge, which is more of a lesson in body awareness. They’re strapped to a harness and swing on a trapeze, doing flips and whatnot in the air. John enjoys his high-flying moves.

We have a second guest trainer in this episode, Rey Misterio Jr! John says he’d rather see Rey than Rock or Hulk Hogan. That makes two of us.

Rey talks about how much the mask means to the luchadores, how his mask represents who he is. He then takes his mask off (shown from behind him so as to not reveal his face) and Al comments how much respect it shows for Rey to talk to them face to face without his mask.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that Rey had been unmasked in WCW years ago, but put his mask back on recently for his WWE debut. But the point about respecting the mask is still a valid one.

Big tells us that Rey is a sports entertainer like no other, and he can do things in the ring no other WWE superstar can do. That’s the truth, which says a LOT for Rey’s abilities. We get a veritable highlight reel of Rey wrestling with the trainers.

For those who have never seen Rey wrestle, he’s in a three-way tag match on the pay-per-view this Sunday, teaming with Edge against Eddy and TE2 trainer Chavo Guerrero and the team of Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit. It’s bound to be a classic.

All the while Rey is putting on a show, Kelly is sitting out or on the exercise bike because of her back. Meanwhile, Jamie is impressing the trainers. Kelly thinks she did a great job too. Rey even gives her a pep talk, saying that she has a lot of potential, not to let anything stand in her way.

NEXT WEEK: Jamie has a huge crush on John! Nick has a bad pain in his arm! Someone will get cut and have their name in red! Interesting!

E-mail Mike at: mikmaria@earthlink.net.

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