Stop That! Your Mother Is Watching: Mom’s Perspective on Survivor: Thailand, Week 9

The tribes have finally merged! Where's that noise coming from? Is that the "Moms" we hear screaming strategy to their offspring? Some of them, anyway...

Clay - You do look so sexy in the immunity necklace! It really adds a touch of class to your ensemble! You and Cher should do a photo shoot together... Watch your back, though... I think someone's planning a jewelry heist!

Helen - Do I sense a friendship between you and the Southern Hick? That boy's crazy like a fox... should make a good alliance... but don't hug him while he's wearing that damn necklace!

Ted - You big doofus! You don't get "me" time when you're fighting for a million dollars on a desert island! You might as well have spent the time painting a target on your big behind... you're gonna be needin' that necklace!

Brian - I am not a happy woman! Couldn't your wife just keep wiggling her butt like she does in those movies you’ve made with her? No! She's got to make a full length feature out of a message from home! "We can go to Fiji!" You need major damage control or "we" won't even get a decent shopping trip to Wal-Mart...

Jan - Your cleavage isn't the only thing leaking out in front of everybody - the other end is trickling, too! First your mind, now your body... put your shorts on!

Jake - Hey! Paul Bunyan! Betty Crocker's recipes getting on your nerves? Those "adventures" of yours are just as bad... even the monkey was yawning! Remember your plan? Bond with the strongest woman? I know Betty gets on your nerves, and Lord knows she's not a looker, but she's the one... trust your Mom on this one!

Penny - Excuse me? You got a video from home?? And no one asked me to be in it??? That's all I'm going to say about it. After all I've done for you...

Ken - Presuming that you won the first part of that challenge because you understood the numbers, what part of north, south, east, and west do you not understand? A compass awaits you... hope nobody stops you to ask for directions before you get here!

Diana is an obsessed reality TV fan who works in real estate banking. She lives in the Deep South with her husband of 29 years, who is secure in the knowledge that he runs a distant second to Survivor. She can be reached at dsnonny@hotmail.com.

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