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The Surreal Life: Your Next 15 Minutes Starts… NOW!by Phil Kural -- 01/13/2003
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I sat down to watch The Surreal Life on the WB last Thursday. Honestly, I had no intentions on watching this show. I had actually planned to go out with some friends but that ended up blowing up in my face. That's a whole other story for a whole other article. Fact of the matter is I watched the show and I actually liked it! I was expecting to see all these has-been stars stroll around like they owned the place and that nothing interesting would happen. Then I realized that I like some of the people in the house more than I thought I would. I would like to introduce the cast of this show, and what I knew about them before the show. The way I introduce them is the order in which they were introduced in the show.
Corey Feldman - Well, he is one of the "better known stars" that will be residing in the house. The first time I ever remember seeing Corey Feldman was in those cheesy Friday the 13th movies where Jason goes around the campgrounds killing innocent teens that are there to have a "good time." Anyway, Corey was little Tommy Jarvis and starred in what I believe was the fourth go-around. After that, I recall him in The Goonies and The Burbs, which was actually a really funny movie and I suggest everyone rents it. Those are the first three things that came to mind when I heard his name, so I was pretty excited to see he was in the house. We get to see him kiss his fiancé goodbye, then he is off to the house. Corey talks about how it is going to be so hard to leave her and how he will miss her every minute. I'm sorry, but this thing is only for 10 days, and he is allowed to call her! What's the big deal? Moving on…
Vince Neil - I actually don't know much about Vince Neil. I do know that he is in the band Motley Crue's and is/was the lead singer. I could have cared less that he was in the house, but it looks like he is going to be a good addition. My favorite part about when he was explaining why he wanted to be in the house was when he said: "Motley Crue is taking a few years off to figure out what is going on." OK, to me, that means: "Yeah, we basically broke up, but want our fans to hold on to any shred of hope they can to think that we are still together." Face it, Motley Crue is done. He would not be on this show if he thought he had any kind of future.
Brande Roderick - The only time I can remember her was when she was Playboy's 2001 playmate of the year. I read it in some magazine, I forget which one though. Anyway, a few friends of mine said she was on Baywatch for a while but I never watched that show so I have no idea if they are telling the truth or not. Every week someone else was drowning because they did not want to listen to the lifeguards. It was also a bit hard to grasp the fact that the same lifeguards that protected people from drowning spent their nights catching criminals and solving mysteries. I lived in Wildwood, NJ, for the past few summers and I was surprised just to see a lifeguard there actually blow the whistle to save people from the undertoe, let alone figure out who robbed the "surf shop." Back to Brande. I must say she was looking pretty hot. She also shares with the public that she is bringing her dog. Mercedes, along for the ten days. She gets to the house third and the second she leaves the room Vince and Corey state that she is "looking good." Maybe some romance in the future? Don't count on it.
Emmanuel Lewis - How could anyone NOT remember Webster? I am almost positive at this point that Emmanuel is going to be my favorite person on this show. From the second they show him riding up in the car, Emmanuel is saying that he laughs at everything. It's so true! All they show is clips of him laughing the whole way to the house. Then, when he gets in, more laughter! I swear, it's not even a laugh. It is more of a cackle, but it is the funniest sound I ever heard. I was a little less than five seconds away from soiling myself, it was so funny. Well, maybe not THAT funny, but you get the idea. I think he may be the best addition to this house. Especially his little "pimp walk" when he came strolling into the house and greeted everyone. Oh yeah, this is going to get good.
Gabrielle Carteris - I couldn't even figure out who she was until I saw her. Then the flashbacks began. 90210 - Do I even have to say anymore? Gabrielle was Andrea, the nerd who was the editor of the high school paper and best friend to Brandon Walsh. How Andrea ever fit into that group will never quite make sense to me. She was such an odd ball with the likes of Steve, Brandon, Dylan, and Kelly. She never quite fit in. Nevertheless, she did spend a few years with that show and then decided to call it quits. Apparently, she was happy when she did it because she said so! Then I remember she had a talk show for like two days but that flopped miserably. People probably could not take her seriously. I know I couldn't. So Gabrielle is a married parent now and insists that she is not going to play a "mom role" in the house. That flew out the window quickly. On the plus side Emmanuel is happy to see her so maybe they knew one another from before.
MC Hammer - Hammer Time!! Okay, I just had to start with that. Where do I even begin? Well, I'm sure everyone at one time or another heard the song "U Can't Touch This" and are probably well aware that MC Hammer is the one that created it. Besides that, he had a few other hits, claimed bankruptcy, and became a minister. I swear this guy never quits. It is good to see that he has his life on track now and that he is happy with his family. They showed a shot of him with his five kids saying grace before dinner. When Hammer showed up to the house, everyone was happy. It's nice to see that everyone has respect for him but that could be the fact that he is a minister. Wait until later though.
At this point we had the six guests in the house that have arrived sit down and talk about the remaining guest, Jerri Manthey, who it seems that nobody knows anything about, except that perhaps she is not the nicest person…
Jerri Manthey - Well, any avid reader of RealityNewsOnline or reality TV watcher in general knows who Jerri Manthey is - the stubborn, rude, arrogant, cocky, and ignorant woman from Survivor 2. Jerri stated in her limo that she knows she is not as "famous" as the other people but she found out who was in the house and just had to be part of it. The others were not that big on Jerri moving into the house because they felt she is not on the same level as they are. Oh yeah, so she hasn't been a playmate of the year or had one hit single. She has appeared on the same amount of shows as Emmanuel has, and her show didn't flop like Gabrielle's. The only bad thing she has going for her is the bitchy reputation which she claimed she is trying to save…
So there we have it - a first look at the seven "celebrities" of The Surreal World. There have already been a few squabbles so we'll have to keep watching to see how they interact over the course of their 10 days together.
Phil Kural is a junior at Temple University, and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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