The Osbournes, Season 2, Episode 6: Meow Means No!!

This week’s news is pretty quiet about the family, with the main event being that of the Osbournes as hosts of the American Music Awards on Monday, January 13. As suspected, there were a lot of censored bleeps on the show. For some fans, there was also the disappointment in finding that Aimee did not appear on the program as promised. There was no mention at the time as to why the sudden disappearance of the Osbourne “mystery” daughter from the program.

This week’s episode is rather a downer, with people seemingly under pressure and animals floating in and out of scenes that are either too aggressive or angry in their own ways. The episode starts with Ozzy being told that the neighbors are complaining about the dogs barking late at night. Ozzy feels that it is the neighbors’ fault for allowing their own dogs to bark, with the family’s dogs being mere innocent victims and simply barking in return. As Ozzy asks, “What do they want the dogs to do, meow?”

After the opening credit, there is a rather long series of snippets featuring the dogs and cats of the household doing their own things and creating messes around the house. In the middle of the collage is a shot of Melinda holding a dog named Chicken in a blanket like one would hold a baby. Jack mentions that it looks ridiculous, but Melinda loves the dog’s sweet nature so much that she can’t help but pamper the dog.

We see Kelly stepping into a mess left by one of the dogs. She tries to clean up, while her friend Sarah waits. Sarah announces that she is going to wash a shirt again as it still smells in the armpits.

Meanwhile, Jack gets a call from Jason Dill. Instead of hanging up like anyone else would, Jack does the thing most guys do when they have a schmuck for a friend. They try to help out said schmuck, while already seeing the large brick wall they are driving their lives to by doing same. I believe everyone has done this at one time or another, so readers should know what I’m speaking of here.

Jason needs a place to stay and Jack tells Dill that he believes he can get it worked out, but that it will take some doing. (You can click here to take a look back at the first time Jason Dill showed up.)

Back to Kelly and Sarah in Kelly’s room. Sarah brushes her tongue, which grosses Kelly out. Sarah then announces that she needs to put on her makeup. Kelly thinks it is a waste of time for a band rehearsal, but Sarah wants to do it anyway.

Sarah tells the camera in a brief interview bit that she has known Kelly for four years. The audience then sees for the first time that Sarah is playing drums for Kelly in Kelly’s band. Or, rather, she is trying to. The rehearsal does not seem to be going well as the camera cuts back to the house and the animals again.

In the living room, Jack admits that he is not sure if the tour is the right thing for Sarah, as he believes she has jumped into it without really being prepared for it. Ozzy, as he paints, states that drummers are scary, weird people. That can conjure up a lot of frightening images when you realize that it is Ozzy Osbourne that is saying this.

Sorry, that was an easy joke and I’m not proud.

Anyway, during a break at the studio, Sarah admits that she is having problems with the beat on the song, but believes it is the guitars that are causing the problem and not her drumming. She knows something is wrong, and asks Kelly if she is doing okay.

That night at the house, Ozzy mentions that Jack’s hair looks “flamboyant.” To get back at him, Jack proudly announces that Jason Dill is coming to visit for four days. “No, he’s not,” Ozzy replies.

Back at the studio, Sarah is not doing well and tempers are starting to flare. Sarah goes for a break as the camera cuts back to the house where Jack is showing Ozzy a video collage – seems to be a lot of collages on the program this week – of Jason getting hurt while skateboarding. Ozzy looks on in mild disgust.

Sharon is shown at the hospital getting treatment as Bobby from the studio comes by to tell her that Sarah is not working out. He believes that Sarah’s drumming is affecting Kelly’s singing as well.

It is nighttime again and Jason Dill arrives in a taxi. Jason comes up to Jack and tells him that the taxi driver was “awesome.” “He’s just this old dude outcast, who knows all about, like, the outcasts,” Jason quips. Ah, the witty banter of Jason Dill.

Ozzy asks if Jason’s constant scratching of his head is due to lice, which doesn’t go over well with Jack. What probably would not have gone over well with Ozzy is Jason’s comment to the camera that he’ll be staying for 14 days. The dogs would probably be happy with that, however. Or, rather, at least one of them, who had somehow snatched Jason’s toothbrush away and is seen happily chomping away on it.

But before that there is a mega-long collage of Dill moments – mainly burping, scratching his head, and stumbling around – all set to John Sebastian’s “Welcome Back.” It’s rather as dull as it sounds and not very amusing.