The Bachelorette, Episode 2: It's One, Two, Three Brians Out

So last week we had four Brians start off the show, which let's face it, is just a wee bit excessive don't you think? At least let's give ABC some credit for making sure that there is only one Brian on each of the three group dates. Now some people have complained that I was not as hard on the men of The Bachelorette as I was on the women of Joe Millionaire or the previous two editions of The Bachelor. Well, let's be a little upfront here. We have 25 people we're meeting right off the bat. I can be a little snarky but not as vicious as I could be in smaller groups of five.

Basically - it means watch out! This week is gonna be a lot easier. So the champagne is chilled, I'm ready to watch.

So today starts off with Smitty going to the guys' guest house (complete with tennis court and dog) and he basically says that their only contact with Trista will be during their dates and invitation nights. Until then, videos will arrive telling the men who will be going on groups dates with Trista.

But before we get to the first date it means I have to do a quick fashion check of the men. This time they are out of their suits and in casual clothing. Charlie - what is this thug look you are giving us tonight? Lose the hat. Same goes for you, Russell. Lose the freakin' hat. Jamie… what is it with you men and the hats? Get rid of them! Brian C., liking the t-shirt and khakis. Brian H., best dressed man there, no doubt. That color green is not easy to wear but I'm digging it. Jack, that Superman shirt needs to go.

Anyway, the first date is here and it's off to Vegas for Rob, Brook, Russel, Brian S., and Josh. Rob says it would be fun to go on the trip alone with Trista. Brook says that he believes in love at first sight and thinks that Rob is suffering (if you can call it suffering) from it as we speak. So the men hit the town with Trista and they play some keno and then over to the roulette table. There's Russell next to her the entire time not letting the other men really get a chance to get close to her. Russell is just getting smarmy and pushy and putting himself in her face. I don't like it and neither do the other men.

From the casino the men go to the upstairs club where Brian S. proves why white people on Soul Train get no air time. Everyone seems to be having some fun but Russell is intent on making sure he has alone time with Trista, which he gets out on the terrace. She admits that she has some chemistry with him not only to us in a confessional but to him as well. What she also tries to get out is that she also needs to explore what is going on with the other fourteen guys because they all deserve a chance as well.

But Russell just has to have the last word. I'm sitting there telling him (granted he can't hear me, but I'm telling him anyway) to shut up because it is so incredibly rude to interrupt someone - especially when you are on a date with them and you are trying to win them over. So Trista realizes the only way she can get him to shut up is to kiss him - which she does, and I saw tongue as well. Lots of tongue.

Now for the other men, they are just up at the Ghost Bar having fun and drinking on the ABC dime and wondering what the heck is going to happen next on the date. These four guys. You just feel for them because Russell is being a whore and monopolizing Trista's time. In fact, Trista and Russell have ditched the other guys and have gone back to the suite they have for the night.

Russell says that he will be the last man standing when this is all over because he and Trista both realized how right it was between them. Okay, Russell, why is it whenever I see you on the screen I have the sudden urge to bathe when you get off my screen? Can someone please explain that one to me? Is it the ooze, the slime, the… what? What is it? Someone tell me…

Back at the house the next video is dropped off and it's a spa vacation for Bob, Jamie, Brian C., Jack, and Ryan. Of course Bob reads into the fact that his name was called first which means nothing you freak! Fashion check. Brian C. is in another t-shirt and khakis combo. Are those Gap or Old Navy t-shirts, Brian C.? I think I have the same ones you have already worn. Charlie is in his thug wear again, and Bob needs to lose the hat. Men and the hats. Ugh.

Back to Vegas and the Palms where Russell is buttering Trista up and saying that she is not going to meet another guy on this show who is as great as him or with whom she has as much in common as him. And of course they kiss. Twice. The other men eventually come back and Russell is not looking happy about that. Yes, Russell, let me remind you that the show is called The Bachelorette. Not the Russell is a Slimy Man Show.

Rob gets his own personal time with Trista because, apparently, she wanted to talk to him. His modus operandi is that if she wants to know more about him, then she can come and get him. If she doesn't want that time with him then she won't come get him. See, this is a double edged sword. On one hand it doesn't make him appear to be pushing or wanting to make sure that she sees him or notices him, but on the other hand it can also make him seem a bit standoffish and disinterested.

Trista tells Rob that she knows he's a sincere guy and that she's glad he's there on the show with her. Rob thinks that he got his point across to Trista and thinks that he will be getting a rose on invitation night. As for Brook, the trip wasn't so great because he didn't get much, if any, face time with Trista. He think she picked the people she wanted to talk to and that was it. Well, it goes back to that double edged sword of speak up and get something or lay back and let it pass you by.