American Idol 2, January 22: L.A. Talent, Detroit Bust

The auditions continue on from the first night as Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell, and Randy Jackson weed out the contenders from the pretenders.

Last night, we met some great talents oozing with possibilities like Jacob John Smalley, Frenchie Davis, Julia DeMato, and Kimberly Caldwell.

Let’s see if tonight brings us the new American Idol.

In Los Angeles, we met:

Equoia Coleman, suffering from a spider bite (a brown recluse, which Simon had no knowledge of. What spider would bite him?). Spider or no, Equoia powered through “You Give Good Love” and received good notices from the judges.

Robert Lovrin sang the detestable “Celebration” in detestable fashion. Randy said he was “just terrible man. You shouldn’t be singing.”

James Visperas, a self-confessed pyromaniac (he once burned down a house!), blazed through “My Girl.” Simon gave him a “definite yes” to Hollywood.

Robyn Hanks sang the Justin Guarini staple “Get Here” with a beautiful voice. Robyn’s mother was intense! She threatened Simon’s testicles! Paula has heard this song enough for one lifetime and asked for a different one, more up-tempo. Robyn blithely handled “Isn’t She Lovely” and she was. On to Hollywood!

Anthony Fitzgerald did “Crazy” and he was crazy if he thought he was good. Anthony had curiously high-pitched voice that should never be used to sing. Simon’s thought, “amazingly dreadful.”

Carrie Hunt sang a powerful “God Bless America,” which Simon proclaimed was “brilliant… fabulous, one of the best of the competition!”

Dave Anderson took a crack at the “Star Spangled Banner” and sounded like he was on crack! The words seemed to be a mystery to him. He was hideous. Simon said he was “in a class of his own.” Not in a good way.

Joshua Gracin, USMC, marched in with a salute, reporting for his audition. Sergeant Simon put him at ease. Of his performance of “All or Nothing” (popular choice this year!), all three judges said he had a nice tone. Report to Hollywood!

Alyson Roberts (with a ‘y’) stumbled through a way over-stylized “I’ll Take You There” and got stuck on “ain’t nobody workin’.” In fact, she sang it six times in succession! Not good. Simon managed to find a nice voice in all that stylizing, but Paula and Randy said no. Alyson swore she could do better and did a bit better with “Sunday Kind Of Love,” but Paula and Randy remained unswayed. Then came the begging. No. Pleading. No. She was headed for the door and tried one last time. Can I have one more shot? Without waiting for an answer, she tried to take them there again. She ran up and kissed each of them on the cheek. Finally, Randy caved. She moves on! Persistence pays off! (But a bad precedent has been set!)

Brandon and Bryan Forrest, rejects from last year, tried again singing “One More Chance” with only minor improvement. No. The twins decided to argue about it. Paula gave some constructive criticism, they didn’t connect with the judges (their eyes were closed or they were looking at each other). Still the twins fought on. Simon said they should forget about singing. Period. (They weren’t that bad!)

Marie Lingbanan was a ball of energy, burbling with enthusiasm (to an annoying degree!). Her “I Need You” was screechy at best. Randy said she sounded like she “was in pain!”

Eric “Charm” Berrill had yellow hair with red side flaps. I kid you not. His “The Greatest Love of All” was all over the map, every place a disaster area! Simon said he sounded like what Linda Blair would have sounded like if she were singing while her head was spinning in The Exorcist! That’s one to tell the grandkids!

Dino Yazzie also took a shot at “The Greatest Love of All” and made me never want to hear that song again! The judges sat in stunned silence when his verse and chorus were done. SO HE CONTINUED! Randy looked like he wanted to run! Obviously, no.

Melody Lewis sang “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” in full Dorothy regalia. The judges said she had a great voice and didn’t need the outfit. Let that be a lesson. Save the outfit for The Gong Show!

Lee Dominguez, who had the glint of insanity in his eye, performed “Lately” with a Tiny Tim-esque kind of voice, and he had styling issues (way too much hair), but Paula managed to convince Randy to put him through.

JD Adams claimed to be a descendant of John and John Quincy Adams. He definitely set a president (heh, heh) with his performance of “Lately” (which smoked Lee’s and threatened RJ Helton’s). Good-looking and a great voice, of course Simon loved it, “Thank God,” he exhaled. “Thank God,” Paula repeated. “Thank God,” Randy added. “He’s this year’s Justin!” said Sting7.