WWE Tough Enough 3, The Finale: And the Winners Are…

Class, class! Your attention please! I am Sting7, your substitute trainer for the Tough Enough Finale. Mike and Dale get to be at The World live for the finale, and I get to fill for the boys while they drink body shots off Trish Stratus! Not really. But, they are there, and I am here, and you are there, so let's go on with it.

Live from The World in Times Square, New York. Jim Ross, Senior VP of Talent Relations (that sounds dirty somehow) promises a "slobberknocker" of a night. He then introduces Johnathan Coachman and Ivory (who is looking sensational!).

Never one to prolong the drama (heh, heh), Coach and Ivory tell us it's time for the fan cut. That's right. One of the final five will be cut via an Internet poll to determine who is not worthy.

The five finalists, John, Eric, Jonah, Jamie (looking better than she's ever looked on the show… and more fit), and Matt slowly make their way to the stage. Jonah gives Matt a companionly shoulder squeeze. The final five keep saying how close they became and it shows.

Ivory asks who will it be? Jonah gets a huge response from this hometown crowd. Matt and Eric seem to garner lots of female hoots.

Speaking of cuts, Coach says let's take a look at the cuts and quits of the season. That's all been well-documented here, we move on.

Justin, who fell just shy of the final five, is introduced and gets a warm reaction. Justin expels a big gust of air. You can imagine he's thinking how close he came.

The polls are closed. Time for the final cut! Coach introduces head trainer Al Snow. Al has had a spectacular career as a wrestler, but never achieved the popularity that he has now, just being himself. He's teacher, father, crazy uncle, and drill sergeant all rolled into one.

(Sting7 predicts Jamie will be cut. She outlasted all of the women, and she holds her own fine in the ring. Even with the men. Problem: she's a woman. WWE presents even its most athletic women as objects, how they can expect the fans to respect Jamie's abilities is beyond me. She doesn't stand a chance.)

In traditional Tough Enough fashion, the final five stand in front of chairs, before a pacing, menacing, beady brown-eyed Al Snow. Al says with conviction, "No matter what happens here tonight, I am proud of each and every one of you." He tells them that this doesn't have to be the end, but it's up to them. I have a feeling he is directing this mostly at Jamie. WWE needs talented women. As long as she can keep her ducks in a row, she can still make the big time. Then again, we know that some past losers, specifically Jake and Kenny from TE2, didn't help their causes with their attitudes after the show was over.

Al does two complete sweep before them, he locks eyes on Eric. Uh-oh! He keeps pacing. He stops at Matt. "Matt, sit down."

A big, relieved hoot from the women in the audience. Pacing, pacing. He stops at Jonah. "Jonah, sit down." Big hoot from the crowd! Pacing, pacing, he stops at Eric. "John, sit down." Al, you sneaky bastard.

That leaves Eric and Jamie. (Jamie, you are toast!) Pacing, he stops at Eric again. "Eric, sit down." Jamie's face crumbles a bit, Al steps in front of her, and says, "Jamie, I'm sorry. You are cut." And he actually sounds sorry.

Jamie walks off the stage, clearly dejected, to Big. Big gives her a Big hug (the only kind he can, I think) and leads her to her parents. They give her some encouraging words. It's a sweet moment. Jamie, to her credit, is quite poised.

Coach asks Ivory if the fans made the right choice. Ivory says the fans are very perceptive, "Jamie has a lot of talent, but she isn't ready yet. I hope she doesn't let us forget her face, and we see her on the scene someday!"

I give it six months.

WWE gives us the last six months of training in about three minutes. All the dramas are hit: Jill and Jonah, Rebekah and Scott, everything that Scott did, Nick and Jamie, Jonah pulling the greatest prank in the history of reality television, Eric and Whatshername from Iceland,. Jonah accidentally dissing Bill DeMott, Bob Holly's assault on Matt. All well-documented here.

Josh Matthews, a.k.a. Little Al from TE1 (providing more proof that you don't have to win to get on WWE TV) asks Jamie how it feels to be cut the fans. Okay, he's not exactly Bob Safer. Jamie says she's not giving up, she's had a taste of the business and she's staying with it. Good for her.

Time for one last look at the finalists.