The Osbournes, Season 2, Episode 8: Cleanliness is Next to Ozzyness

Before we get into the recap, a few notes. Last time I reported that there was a song heard in Episode Four of Season One that a reader wanted to get more information about. Well, as it turns out the reader, Travis, was able to locate the information himself and wrote to me today to inform me that the song Jack is blaring at the neighbors in the episode is called “Soul Burn,” by the band, Meshugga (off of the Destroy Erase Improve album). Thanks for the update, Travis.

Secondly, the press has all been in a tizzy about the ratings for the series settling in this season at around 3.6 to 3.8. While this is a drop from the high of Season One (and the beginning of this season), a 3.6 is still near the top of the ratings for a cable series. Naturally, MTV would put a positive spin on the reports, but in reality there really isn’t much of a story here, no matter how it is presented. Lower ratings perhaps, but the show is still doing well. That’s it.

Finally, the new Pepsi Twist ad with Ozzy, Kelly, and Jack was aired during tonight’s episode and it is definitely worth seeing. I would hate to spoil the ad for those who haven’t seen it; so if you can’t wait, send me an email and I’ll reply with the details (or you can go to the IFILM website and find it there). I must say that Ozzy’s reaction shots are perfect in the ad.

This week’s episode is the eighth out of ten episodes for the season and one of the few that has focused mainly on Ozzy and Sharon. Sharon is still in chemotherapy at this point in the story, although there is at least one element in the story that appears to have taken place at a much different time than the rest. I’ll get to that in a moment.

The show starts off with Ozzy teasing one of the dogs. After the credits, it is obvious that his teasing is more out of stress than being silly, as he tells everyone again and again that he is tired of seeing piles of messes by the dogs all over the house. “I live in a $9 million turd,” Ozzy says at one point, as a montage of dog-piles is shown for viewers at home to enjoy.

This brings up a question I have. Does anyone enjoy seeing the amount of airtime the series has given to showing (to put it bluntly) piles of dog-crap this season? It seems to be some type of fetish thing going on with the editors this year. That, or they believe the pinnacle of comedy is seeing a pile of poo on the floor. Just seems odd, that’s all.

Ozzy does have another good reason for being upset over the messes (besides that of constantly stepping in them) – it is a health hazard that does Sharon no good while she is on chemotherapy. Ozzy is worried that Sharon will get sick and he is also less than happy that Sharon continues to play with the dogs, or that others deal with the dogs and then may spread germs to Sharon. Ozzy demands that the dogs stay off the bed, but even that doesn’t help when the dogs feel they have a right to be on the bed and directly in Sharon’s face.

Now, I sympathize with Ozzy on this one. My wife and I have three cats, and all of them at times feel they have a right to cuddle up next to your face if you lie down on the bed. In one sense, it is sweet that the animals want to be with you, but with my allergies, the last thing I need is a Siamese curled up by my head for half the night. Yet every protest or shifting of them just makes them come back for more. So you’re left with trying to shut them out (which leads to the type of whining by the animals as seen in the show tonight), or just put up with them. Since I watched Ozzy trying to push away the dogs in sympathy, you can guess whether we put up with the cats or not.

Back to the show. Jack has taken Robert to the kitchen and is showing him how to make “a proper breakfast” of Beans on Toast. There is then a brief discussion about Robert, who hasn’t been seen much in the show so far this season, but not much more than has been mentioned previously in earlier columns.

Another montage of poo leads to Ozzy saying that he wishes, “they would invent a dog that doesn’t (bleep).” The dogs don’t seem to care about his problems, however.

At this point, the show does an obvious jump-cut in time, as viewers next see Ozzy inspecting portraits of the dogs that are put up along the staircase. These very portraits were seen in earlier episodes this season, so we’re obviously dealing with either a jump back in time in the editing, a fold in time, or Ozzy just not remembering that the portraits were there. I’m guessing an editing issue, however. Ozzy asks if they can keep the portraits and get rid of the dogs, because “the portraits don’t (bleep) all over the place.”

A little bit later, Ozzy is seen leaving Sharon’s bedroom and Sharon asks where he is going, “I’m going to the garden to hop in some dog (bleep) to start the day,” Ozzy replies. This is followed by a sequence where Kelly and Sharon are in the office and realize that the dog Sharon has in her lap has a piece of dried poo in its hair. Sharon tries to pull it off, but can’t get it off. Kelly then takes two CDs and pries the mess off of the dog and then tosses the CDs to the floor. Why they didn’t just cut the hair off that had the offending mess is a good question. I’m assuming some type of panic set in and no one was thinking clearly.