The Surreal Life, Episode 5: Tears of Anger, Tears of Pain

Yawn, stretch... our sleepyheads are waking up for yet another exciting episode! Various scenes of morning activity including more tooth brushing shots, this time it's Manny and he's far calmer than Corey while wielding the electric brush. Slow and steady wins the race for proper oral hygiene. I don't find it particularly interesting to watch even people I love brush their teeth, much less strangers, but there are far worse morning bathroom activities they could show us so I just choose to be grateful.

Vince taking over Brande's job this week of getting the paper. Wouldn't it be a fun house project to teach the dog to do that? But I digress...

Vince comes in to alert everyone that they are heading to Vegas! They are all excited. Manny tells us Vince is happy about heading to Vegas because he lives there and will see his girlfriend and he is just happy because "hey - it's Vegas!" Sure beats putting on a talent show in your own backyard. Remember Dorothy saying something about, "if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again I won't look any further than my own backyard..." Perhaps she should have skipped Oz and gone to Vegas?

Why am I rambling on about The Wizard of Oz when they have packing to do?

Now we find ourselves in the girls' room as they pack and discuss how dressy they need to go. I was trying to pay attention to what they were saying but to be honest the first time around I was just amazed three women could pack so much that this enormous walk-in closet is filled to capacity. They brought more clothes with them for ten days than I own. OK, I'm over my envy so back to the recap. I'm struck by how genuinely friendly the girls seem to be with each other. I'm glad all that stuff in episode one about rivalry between the women was a red herring, a little chick bonding does my heart good.

Vince comes out, and I have to say if I were on the editing team it would have been to the music of Z.Z. Top... "Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man..." He was looking good, as Hammer and Manny repeatedly tell him, giving him fashion accolades in manly ways. Everyone is just so excited it makes you wonder why? Not like these guys haven't seen Vegas before. But let's just get caught up in the excitement, what else are we gonna do for the next half hour minus commercials?

So, off we fly to Vegas on the now defunct National Airlines. They just went belly-up last November so do you think they will be auctioning things off to pay their debtors, like Enron did? Wonder what a flight magazine thumbed through by Vince Neil goes for? Seriously.

Changing modes of travel, everyone loads onto a bus to head to The Palms. The driver misses the turn to the hotel and Vince politely asks him to reconsider his course. If by politely I mean swearing repeatedly at the guy for missing the turn. Okay, two turns. I know we are supposed to react to this, oooooooh rock and roll bad boy and all that, but who among us hasn't been in that position? Headed somewhere and you know exactly where to go but the person driving doesn't and won't listen to you? That's very frustrating. Marriages have ended over less. In Vince's shoes I would have been thinking the same things, but without the bleeped out f-words because I am far too dainty to know what they mean. Ahem. Anyway, it doesn't appear out of hand but the others appear uncomfortable and Corey goes back to get the girls, apparently hoping a little feminine influence would calm things down. Little does he know Gabrielle is in no mood to do him any favors, as we soon see.

Bickering ensues between Gabrielle and Corey. She doesn't want to be told what to do and he says he wasn't telling her what to do. Meow. This whole scene is very reminiscent of arguments I have witnessed time and again in dorms among people who wouldn't choose to live together and one has no idea how annoying the other finds them until it all comes spilling out in a barrage of overreaction over some trivial issue. In this case it seems to me that Gabrielle has just had it and Corey has used up her last reserve of diplomacy where he is concerned. Unless there was a whole lot we didn't see, he actually comes off as the more reasonable one here. I'm as surprised as you are. She says that Corey was feeling the tension from Vince and was coming at her and that wasn't okay. I agree, that wouldn't be okay - but did it happen that way? I didn't see it. I think these editors studied at the feet of those responsible for a million Real World episodes where they show us the argument and aftermath but not the incident. I hate that.

Corey is upset and crying, talking to Suzi on the phone and saying that he was just trying to help. He sounds genuinely confused about why Gabrielle is angry. Even Hammer says that Corey was trying to do a good thing and I think, in this instance, he was. I bet he was baffled to be met with unexpected hostility.

So the driver finally finds the elusive Palms hotel and casino and they hit the town running. Vince begins with a hearty "let's party" and a drink in his hand as he gets off the bus. Leading by example, gotta respect that.

Corey doing a confessional and crying. Again. Nervous about his wedding, lots of stuff going on with him, lots and lots of poor Corey.

Cut to the others at a table where Vince is laughing and saying if this were Survivor Corey would be the first person voted out. Can I just say if this were Survivor everyone except Jerri would be dead already? *Self-sufficient* wouldn't be in my top ten list of adjectives for anyone in this house.

Back to Corey's interview, he's upset, still teary and can't talk. He walks away and strikes a pensive pose. I know I have been fairly critical of Corey but I felt bad for him here. It just looked very much like Jr. High ostracism and is just mean.

Manny says it was a lot of drama. Good thing their token Survivor is Jerri and not Vecepia because we know how she feels about the drama. According to Manny the drama was "capped off with everyone dancing with each other so everyone knew there were no hard feelings." Wow, are there places in the world where fights are resolved with dancing? I hope I never have to argue with someone from there; I can't dance, it would be ever unresolved.

Dancing appears to be Emmanuel's running theme of the evening so after complimenting Gabrielle's enthusiasm he says that whenever he hits the dance floor there is a "Manny sandwich" and he is shown surrounded by many beautiful women. I hear some women do love a man who can dance - how many guys are calling Arthur Murray this morning after watching that? Vince calls Manny a chick magnet and that he is the guy to go out with. This from a man who has spent years going out with Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx, so that's saying something.