Learning from Celebrities: The Surreal Life, Episode 6: Don’t Forget the Prenup!

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that Corey decided not to shed any tears this week, therefore making everyone (including myself) much happier. The bad news is that he takes forever on the can, yells at the housemates, and demands a prenup from his wife before they get married as he claimed if they ever broke up he would give her something out of generosity. Oh that Corey, what a class act. On that note, so many lessons, so little time. Let’s see who was in the right and who was in the wrong this week as we join the celebs while they tried to find a date for Brande.

Corey – It is so much fun to start with Corey because I always have the most to say about him. Let me state for the record that I’m done trying to like him. It’s over and can’t be salvaged. I’m sure deep down Corey Feldman is a great guy, but I have gotten to the point that whenever he is on camera I find myself rolling my eyes in disgust. He wasn’t so bad in the beginning of the episode as he looked for a date for Brande, but when it was time to go, Corey took a 20-minute bathroom break and got on everyone’s nerves as usual. Hammer was getting fed up and spoke out to Corey when he returned. Now Corey, as usual, decided to drop some F-bombs as he always does. I was waiting for Hammer to jump down his throat, but as usual, Hammer kept his cool. After this incident, Corey was shown calling his girlfriend at like one in the morning, so that they could talk about the wedding and tie up the loose ends. If I was this poor girl, I would have been gone so long ago. She expressed her feelings to Corey and he hung up on her, as usual. This is getting old. What can we learn from Corey this week? Just like last week, and the week before, it’s not good. First off, don’t get married on TV because not everyone can pull it off. Next, stop being an idiot. That isn’t so much of a lesson that we can learn, but a personal statement I’m trying to relay to Corey. Although I think there is a little Corey in everyone. Just for the fact that I’m sure everyone has complained, cried, pouted, got snotty, stomped, or whined at one point in their life. Just say it: “Oh, that’s the Corey Feldman in me!” Feel better? Me too…

Vince – Vince wasn’t about the camera this week, probably because he got so much air time last week. However, I have to say that whenever Vince is in a shot and something is going on, his facial expressions are priceless! Watching him in the car while Hammer was fighting with Corey was great. Then, his face when Brande chose her date was pretty funny as well. Even though Vince was not on this week he still taught us that with just one facial expression the whole meaning of what is going on can be changed. I wouldn’t have laughed so hard if Vince didn’t make faces when Hammer busted on Corey. Vince is obviously there for the good time only.

Brande – What a woman! Brande is so gutsy. I can’t believe the way in Los Angeles they just ask people on the street if they are gay. Must be pretty open with themselves out there! So Brande and Jerri took Mercedes on a walk and Brande thought she found a man, gave him a shout, and called it a day. The guy seemed interested, yet intimidated. And who wouldn’t be? I know if a gorgeous girl like Brande approached me I would feel the same way! So everyone in the house went out and found her a date. The whole Blind Date scenario was great. Too bad that once again Brande had to experience a dull date. She said that she sometimes comes across as too aggressive. News to Brande: Most guys like that and are just intimidated by how beautiful and successful you are. For instance, when a guy asks what kind of car you have, it’s a little intimidating when the girl replies “Oh, which one? I have many.” I’m sorry, but I would just sink in my seat at that point. My reply would be: “Cool, I have a 92 Mustang… and when it breaks, I’ll ride the bus.” Well, maybe that’s why I’m single. Anyway, what did we learn from Brande this week? I think we need to realize that even if you are a very beautiful woman, it may still be a problem finding a man. The first thing you ladies need to do is figure out what you want because most guys can’t read minds. Believe me, if we could, we would. That would save us many trips back and forth to the store. Once that is down, approach us. Guys like that, and it saves us some time! Lastly, give us a sign. Brande gave the guy a sign that he wasn’t getting a kiss, so I agree with her when she said his move was not necessary. However, most guys respect that and know it’s their cue to go. Just some pre-Valentines Day love advice from a single guy.