Surviving the Amazon, Episode 1: Behind the 8-Ball

Rob notes that the men have so far gotten along well (mind you, it's still Day 1). They also tried some fishing and didn't catch anything, even though they have some expert fishermen. So there's no way the women were getting anything. He calls them the camp of the vagina monologue. Pretty much everybody trash talks the women.

For their part, the women finally get the fire going and then mention something about the kerosene. It's unclear if they figured out to use it to start the fire or only realized it after the fire was up and going. They all huddle close to the fire and rag on the guys. Well, all but Christy, because when it's dark, her only mode of communication is gone. She says it figures she would be in a group of all girls who talk and talk and talk. She can try to be with them but she can't be like them. It happens every time - it's a big disadvantage.

The next day, Jenna talks about how they had to sleep on the ground with bugs crawling all over them, being bitten, etc. They find that a tarantula has invaded their camp and eventually kill it and toss it in the fire. Don't they know how much protein is in a tarantula?! They just threw away a good meal. Anyway, Deena starts up again about needing shelter. They all march off to get to work, except nobody bothers to tell Christy what's going on, so she decides to stay behind and watch the fire. She says it's not new to her, but is an everyday struggle. However, she doesn't want it to be an issue here every day. Heidi notes that because of the communication barrier, she has not really bonded with Christy. I have to wonder - did you try?

Things start to go awry at the men's camp. The vaunted "we all get along" isn't working anymore as Rob complains that Roger is bossy. He tells the kids to do this and do that. But he says he knows how to play the game so he just says, "Yes, Roger. Sure, Roger," and does it. It doesn't bother him too much.

Roger, however is bothered by Ryan and Daniel. He says they don't contribute. They just stand around talking and don't listen to him. It's like pulling teeth to get them to do something. They are useless and digging their own graves.

Now, back to trashing the women. The guys say they can't imagine the girls getting a shelter together - they probably have three sticks. Rob adds that they're probably crying, panicking, looking for a cell phone to call their boyfriends. Yeesh.

Speaking of the women, Jeanne says she thought they'd be more focused and somebody would take a leadership role, but they are just disorganized. Well, sure, nobody wants to be voted out first! She says it's embarrassing. Plus, to make matters worse, they are all dehydrated.

Jenna says the flies are swarming because they smell bad. So they boil their tops and underwear. She notes that things can live on you, especially there because it's dark. Ooookay. Thanks for that image. Deena is annoyed (again - still - who knows) and says they have a difficult time getting things done and moving on. She wants to build a shelter but other people decide they need to wash their clothes.

The next day, Jenna, Jeanne, and Heidi go fishing. But Janet is ready to pass out. She's sick and hungry and exhausted. She says she has hit rock bottom and didn't know it would be so brutal out here. Hello? Did she watch any of the previous series? Sheesh. Anyway, she's worried about the coming challenge since she can barely walk.

The men don't seem to have any worries at all. Rob donates his luxury item - a Magic 8-Ball - to the tribe. But there is one rule - no asking the Magic 8-Ball if they are going to win challenges. So instead they ask it lots of questions about the women, like if they will hook up with this one or that one, etc. Shawna, Jenna, and Heidi are the main targets of their lust. Roger notes that all the young guys talk about is how good looking the women are. Rob goes so far as to say that Heidi could put Viagra out of business.

The women are not, however, talking about the men. JoAnna and Jeanne decide to try fishing with their net. They actually catch something - a small, sharp, hard little fish of some sort. Or, as they call it, "bait." JoAnna hallelujahs for the bait. Ooookay. Then they realize they left the oars in the water while they were trying to get the fish out of the net. Whoops! They manage to get back to 'em and grab 'em, for which JoAnna thanks the Father. Oooookay. They row into deeper water to fish as JoAnna continues to sing glory and hallelujah. But Jeanne seems to enjoy it.

Eventually, they actually catch a fish - though it isn't much bigger than the bait! They bring it back and fry it up in the massage oil brought by Jeanne, as they are apparently edible. Kind of puts a new spin on just how useful those oils are. JoAnna prays some more.