High School Reunion, Episode 6: Of Proms, Proposals, and Farewells

It's the last episode of High School Reunion! Last chance to see the cheesy credits with the song from hell that gets stuck in my head like glue for the rest of the week! Last chance to see Ben nod his head knowingly! Last chance to see Jason jump up and down barechested! Last chance to see Holly do her little dance move! Last chance to see Tim play the harmonica! Last chance to see Jeff saunter in THAT BATHING SUIT! Last chance to... well, you get the idea.

It's 8:42 in the morning on Day 13, the morning after the 24-hour Hall Passes. Dave and Holly arrive home to comments like, "Did you rise to the occasion?" from the peanut gallery in the kitchen. Dave tells us they had a great time. Holly concurs and loops some string around Tim's neck and ears. Tim's not sure it will go with Summer's dress. That's right... it's the day of... THE PROM! Holly tells us she's thrilled to get to relive it.

Ben and Maya arrive home next to similar peanut gallery questions. Ben and Maya give us he said/she said confessionals on Kissgate. Maya tells us the kiss was so good it made her uncomfortable. Ben reminds us they yakked about it in their hotel room afterward and Maya seemed to respond pretty well so we'll see! Maya counters that things are pretty up in the air between them and prom will be the deciding factor. Incidentally, rumor has it that Maya and The Bachelorette herself, Trista Rehn, were sorority sisters at Indiana University. It's a small reality world after all.

In the Minivan Of Awkwardness, Player Dan lounges across the seat while Natasha leans forward and stares into space dramatically. Player Dan yaks to us about their great time and amazing connection. Natasha's back to being confused and remembering her boyfriend back home. They continue to stare intently in different directions. There's distance! Distance between them! Distance in their viewpoints! Distance - eh, you get it.

They arrive back at the mansion. "You're not going to tell them about what happened, are you?" asks Natasha. Player Dan smiles and chomps his gum. What, no Nicole popping up for one last round of Natasha-bashing? Was she in the bathroom?

Dave wants to know if Player Dan and Natasha fell in love yesterday. "Did you?" counters Natasha. Dave allows that he had a very nice time and confirms he's going to the prom with Holly. Natasha tells us it was obvious she and Player Dan would be going to the prom together, so when he finally actually came out and asked her she pretended to think about it for a moment before she said, "yes." Which accomplished exactly nothing except filling some stray airtime.

For the benefit of the people in the fifth balcony, Chris hammers the point home to us that there's going to be a prom. We see an expanded flashback of Mike Richards breaking the news in which he also reveals that in case someone having to go stag isn't high school enough, they get to vote for prom king and queen! And a bunch of other categories such as "Most Improved" that never get revealed, so why even bother having them in the first place? But we see that someone's wasted valuable drinking time nominating Dave in that category. Maurice tells us that back in high school prom king and queen were determined by popularity, but this time around it's just going to be fun. Well, for most people at least, as we'll see. Our faithful commentator Amy isn't sure who'll win! Gossip Patricia dishes that it's possible Dan and Natasha will win! Well, technically, it's possible for any of them to win, so I fail to see how this qualifies as hot and juicy gossip. Thanks for playing, Gossip Patricia. Summer's voting for Jeff and Sarah! Chris thinks that he should be prom king! He tells us it's quite obvious that he has the look, the smile, the attitude, and he's extremely well-liked! Considering Ben's fish got more airtime than you, keep telling yourself that, Chris.

Summer shows off her secret admirer bracelet to Player Dan. The producers blatantly edit in Natasha making a bizarre sour face. Nice try, producers. Summer yaks to us at length about the situation. She thinks she'll find out her admirer's identity at prom and it might be prom date Tim, but whoever it is, she's not sure how her boyfriend back home will feel about it. The Anvil of Foreshadowing politely waves to us in the background.

So am I the only person who gets kind of misty-eyed at that Saturn Ion commercial where the guy and the girl drive through their high school prom to the strains of Alphaville's "Forever Young?" I am? I'm just weird? Yeah, that's what I thought.

"The excitement was flowing through our veins," Chris informs us. The hell? Does anyone actually talk like that besides Passions characters? "It was a dark and stormy night," he continues. OK, so he just says going to prom again ten years later is weird and exciting at the same time. By this time, the men have clambered into the Minivan of Tuxedo Rentals and are on their way. They scamper up the stairs of Akbar and Jeff's Tuxedo Hut - er, Lahaina Towne Tuxedos - to choose identical tuxes with different colored ties and cummerbunds. Tim opts for gold lame. Chris laughs as he's fitted into his red tie. Ben gets green. Player Dan gets blue. Dave balks at pale pink. Hell, I'm gay and I'd balk at it too.

Back at the mansion, the producers get one last chance to satisfy their primping fetish. The girls apply face masks! Put on shoes! Do their makeup! Dry and curl their hair! Just remember, Amy and Maurice - this was more important to the producers than you.

Prompted by the producers, Maurice brings up Tim Didn't Ask Summer To Prom Ten Years Agogate and off we tumble into a confessional from Summer in which she reveals absolutely nothing new.