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The Bachelorette, Final Episode: Two Men, One Rose, and A Lot of Questionsby C. Brian Devinney -- 02/20/2003
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Here we are. The finale. Tonight Trista is either going to pick the sexy finance guy Charlie or the sensitive poet firefighter Ryan.
Now if we go back to the rumors that have been swirling around the net for a while, Trista is supposedly pregnant with Charlie's love child as she chose him in the final episode. That would make a lot of people happy and I'm sure that a lot of bookies around the world are rubbing their hands together and hoping that Ryan pulls it out in the end so they can collect a whole lotta money.
So we start off with a long, long recap of how she narrowed it all down from 25 guys down to the final two and she has to choose one tonight. This of course means that she is taking these guys home to meet the folks (Hi, Roseanne! You're looking hot!). And when it all comes down to it, she has to pick one of these guys and hope that he will accept the last rose. Then again, if the track record of our eponymous single people holds true, this relationship is doomed within four months anyway.
So as we enter the last round, Trista wakes up in her bachelorette pad. Once again, we hear her talk about her sexual attraction for Charlie and their immediate connection with each other. She thinks that he would make an excellent husband because he's very romantic and affectionate and she knows that he would take very good care of her.
Then there is Ryan and she finally admits that his poem that he wrote for her on that first night is what started winning her over. In fact, she says when he comes out of his shell, he's very witty and charming. Cue clip of him accepting the opportunity to spend the night in the "fantasy suite" and telling the limo driver to go as fast as he can to their hotel. She can definitely see herself with Ryan and pursuing a future with him.
It's just this struggle with falling in love with two different men that is starting to stress her out. I also assume that she now really knows exactly how hard of a decision it was for Alex when she was on the original edition of The Bachelor and is somewhat forgiving him now even though he was pretty much a scoundrel and told her that she was the one when he went ahead and picked Amanda and then dumped her a few months later. Or did she dump him? Oh who really cares? He's no longer with his management firm. He's just a spokesman for Match.com now and considering his track record in the ladies department, do you really want HIM as your spokesman?
Commercial break, which means it's time to open up a bottle of Veuve Clicquot. I just love that new Discover Card commercial too. Easy to carry. Easy to use. Not good for ping pong. Makes me laugh.
So Trista is off to St. Louis as are Charlie and Ryan. Charlie gets to go first which means he gets to set the standard that Ryan has to live up to. Charlie wants to have Trista's family just fall in love with him and use whatever influence they have to convince her that he's the right man for her. Man he's got some confidence. All he needs is Julie Andrews' woven hat, a guitar case, a small suitcase, a few bell kicks, and a rousing chorus of "I Have Confidence" from The Sound of Music and he's all set.
First stop is a nice date with the two of them where they feed the ducks and spend some time together. They both feel a nice connection with each other - something that has increased since their private date in Cabo San Lucas. According to Trista, it feels right when they are together. Oh I feel Debby Boone coming on - How can it be wrong, when it feels so right. Cause you. Oh yes, you. You light up my life.
Can I also say that Charlie's nose, only at certain angles, looks really weird?
Anyway, she's prepping him to meet the family and sure enough they are off to see them for dinner. Trista thinks the folks are going to be really impressed with him. Lots of hugs from the parental units and family members. In attendance are Trista's father, mother, stepmother, and stepsister. Charlie just towers over them because he's so tall. And I do mean tall.
The first thing that everything notices is how attractive Charlie is and in fact, the two moms are in the kitchen giggling like schoolgirls over him. Trista even got the nonverbal message that they feel that way. Now, if my mother ever said that a man I brought home was hot, I think I would be totally revolted and have to dump him. That's just something about my mother that I really don't want to know about, if you know what I mean. Can you imagine a Thanksgiving dinner where my mom is looking across the table at my date and thinking how hot he is?
Ewww. Ewww. Ewww. Bad, bad, bad images. I am going to be sick.
The grilling has begun and the family is pumping Charlie for financial information - especially her dad, who has a lot of financial experience. Trista immediately notes that Charlie and her father will have plenty to talk about. Well, if Charlie wanted an edge over Ryan, he may just have found the niche he needs.
Mama Roseanne (who still looks hot if you ask me) comes up with a question game for dinner. The family came up with a series of questions which were written out, folded up, and placed in a bowl. Trista and Charlie both think that this game will be a slam dunk for him considering his extroverted nature which goes well with her family and how much he loves to talk. And talk. And talk. Shut up already!
Question #1 - Are you a morning or evening person? Well, considering his job, he says he is up at 5:30 in the morning. And under your bed? Mama Roseanne asks.
Porn! I scream at the TV. Wrinkled back copies of Hustler! The answer to what is inside the Survivor lockbox!
"Dust bunnies," Charlie lies. Oh please, I have stuff under my bed! Then again, I have a loft bed so I have a lot of stuff under my bed.
Question #2 - Would he be upset if his wife made more than he did and could he be a Mr. Mom?1 2 3 4 5 Next-->
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