Survivor Psyche, Episode 2: Granola Barred

Tribal Council

Probst zooms in on the women's behaviors and vulnerabilities, asking Deena and JoAnna about workers, and Deena admits that their camp is a "hodge podge of a mess." He retorts that they don't have any kind of a plan. (This is where the women could have admitted that they're afraid to speak up and take a leadership role. More than one player has taken a page from David Bloomberg's Advice to Survivors and is playing it safe.) Probst moves on to Christy. When she says that the shelter should have been done days ago, JoAnna adamantly shakes her head, and rats Christy out in her best schoolgirl tone. "She wanted to go fishing!" Probst pushes Christy by asking her if she feels excluded, and the floodworks begin. Janet reaches over to pat Christy, but Jeanne and Jenna watch stone-faced. When Jenna fidgets, Probst zooms in on her. Skeletina claims that Christy is being "ridiculous" and "no one believes that liar, liar, pants on fire, anyway!" Then, it's time to vote, and pathetic tenderfoot Janet is the chosen sacrifice.

In her parting speech, Janet Cleaver advises future players to stay home and get a "change of hairstyle," instead.

Next week: The men slaver over the prospect of hooking up with the chicks, in an Amazon version of Mystery Date.

Let's look at the players.

Tambaqui

Alex: Was fabulous in fending off Roger's overtures. We're liking you more and more.

Butch: What a stumblebum. Let's hope you learn your lesson, Principal Butch, as well as your tribemates' names.

Daniel: Only memorable this week for the "deer-in-the-headlights" look on your face. Maybe it's a symptom of steroid withdrawal.

Dave: A cross between Val Kilmer and Josh Hartnett. We just wanted to point that out. Other than that, you were completely forgettable in this episode.

Matthew: Showed off your cooking skills and scary man-mams. (Last week it was eyebrows, this week's it's nipple-age.)

Rob: Got the first correct answer for your tribe - "6." The first, middle and last digit of the tattoo on your forehead.

Roger: Who died and made you Elvis? With your big mouth and arrogant assumption of the leadership mantle, you are sacrificing yourself for your tribe - you just don't realize it. The other men will inherit the palatial shelter you built, while voting you off for your "bossiness."

Jaburu

Christy: You've alienated Deena and Jenna. You need to continue working to forge bonds with the other women, bite your tongue, and take your lumps.

Deena: Your experience as a prosecutor and a mom should tell you when a person is just stressed out and venting. Don't take it personally and indulge in a knee-jerk reaction that will only make things worse. We'll blame it on the low blood sugar.

Heidi: Yoo-hoo, where are you? Judging from the previews, we'll be seeing a lot more of you next week.

Janet: You clicked your heels together three times, and the girls sent you back home to your Passions and Hot Pockets. You can get a new do at the Survivor Spa.

Jeanne: She was the Cotton Mather of the Jaburu Tribe, leading the witch hunt on Janet. What we want to know is, are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Jenna, aka "Skeletina": What did you accomplish besides ignoring Christy and lounging around in your freshly laundered skivvies? Your cattiness is starting to show, since you only hang around with the other cheerleaders in your clique.

JoAnna: By shoving your hand into a deaf girl's face, thereby blocking off her only means of communication, you have transcended the vileness of former Survivor villainesses. JoAnna, when the roll is called up yonder (in the Reality TV Hall of Shame), you'll be there.

Shawna: You're playing smart so far. You were a hard worker and kept your nose out of trouble, and even tried politely to "SHUT UP" JoAnna. You get extra points, even though it didn't work.

Melinda Smith is a technical illustrator and writer with a background in graphic arts. She and her family live in Cincinnati, Ohio. Her sister, Suzanne Tromblay, is a licensed social worker with the State of Ohio. Melinda can be reached at tremme@eudoramail.com.

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