Sharing The Blame: An Analysis of Puck's Departure from 'Battle of the Sexes'

This was how it was supposed to work this week on Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Battle of the Sexes: Puck finds out his family - his wife Betty and son Bogart - have been detained in Jamaica, since Betty lost her green card. Puck spends the full half-hour ranting and raving like a lunatic before huffing off in his usual way. In response, I would levy a dozen or so good lines at his expense and come up with a clever title for the recap, like "Puck Amuck," "Puck Off," or "…And Don't Come Back!" Admit it, you were thinking along those lines when you watched the teaser.

So what happened? Puck went off, broke some stuff, and left the show, perhaps never to return (remember, he did show up on his season of The Real World after he left the house). Aside from that segment being less than a third of what was expected, you'd think that I would revel in the chance to write witty lines at Puck's expense. Here's the kicker: you heard the window break and saw the holes in the wall? Well, that wasn't Puck. No, that was just more manipulation, brought to you by Mary-Ellis Bunim and Jonathan Murray.

During one recap, I vowed never to read the web sites of contestants, lest they influence my writing. Well, I couldn't hold out. Every week, I read inside recaps from Colin, Lori, and Melissa. This week, all three said the same thing: Puck only broke equipment, since he wasn't allowed to see his family. He cut a microphone wire with the machete. And that was it. The holes in the wall? Well, according to Colin, Jamie was fooling around with Puck's guitar, and the Scabby One had a moment inspired by John Belushi in Animal House: he smashed it like he was a rock star. Swept up in the euphoria, Jamie had grabbed a pole or one of Colin's crutches (Colin wasn't sure which it was) and rammed it into the wall.

As for the broken window, that was all Ayanna. Melissa heard that she smashed the window, and Lori mentioned that Ayanna's hand was bleeding. Actually, that brings me to something a lot more interesting: the fight between Aneesa and Ayanna. Yes, there was a verbal fight, where Ayanna went insane. I understand that a lot of stuff gets left on the cutting room floor. I don't need to see the credits being filmed, and David E. spitting on Puck AND Beth. Here's my problem: Ayanna going off was in the teaser that followed the first episode. Remember the segment with Ayanna rambling, "Aneesa, I gotta go"? Bunim-Murray Productions does that a lot.

So BMP made us think that the entire episode was going to center on Puck alone, as opposed to another game. This is standard operating procedure for the producers. What else do they have to offer these days? Their faux documentary, The Real World: The Lost Season, was a colossal dud. Road Rules hasn't been good in years. The Real World: Las Vegas is used as a low-cost alternative for anesthesia in hospitals. And really, who gave a spray of bullets about P. Diddy's version of Making the Band? Time has passed Bunim and Murray by, and they won't admit it. They're probably praying for a riot from their newest cast members in Paris right now.

I'm not letting Puck off the hook. Yes, he did resemble a human being during his wedding. But other than that? Usual Puck-like behavior, like something you'd see at a zoo. To start, there was the fight with David Edwards. I'll admit, I don't know who started that. Puck didn't improve things by spitting in David's face. But David was such a full-on mental patient, the other cast members sided with Puck and demanded he stay. Murray wouldn't acquiesce with them unless David was filmed spitting on Puck in payback. Seriously, Colin wrote that. How old is Murray, anyway?

Puck was a poor sport. After completing the Tree House game, he taunted the girls who were struggling to finish it. He played with a noisemaker while Veronica was trying to get her Inner Circle speech out, causing her to stop and snap at him. Of course, the guys didn't have a problem with him, since he was on their side. Besides, anybody who goes up against him would end up a pariah, like David.

And then there was Ellen. As Melissa said on her site, Ellen made the mistake of jousting with Puck in regards to his revamped wedding plans. That was a stupid move on her part. Now Puck was out to get her. He taunted her while wearing Bogart on his chest. Seriously, Ellen might have been able to confront him, but while he had his son as a shield, all she could do was sneer. Sure, she probably fabricated the story about how he was going to kick her ass. But the worst thing Puck did was unforgivable. After she announced Rachel was out, he walked up to her and threw up in front of her. You heard me: he vomited in front of Ellen, on purpose. Who does that? Seriously, what the hell was Puck thinking? As I read that nugget of information from Colin, I sympathized with Ellen, and you know from reading my summaries that is something I don't want to do.