Wild Speculation on the 'American Idol' Wildcard Twist
by RealityNewsOnline & Foxes On Idol Staff
What could the big "twist" for American Idol described by Simon be? We already know part of the answer, but we asked the writers from RealityNewsOnline and Foxes On Idol to speculate wildly about what the full answer might be.
Just as RealityNewsOnline writers speculated wildly on what might be in the locked box on Survivor, it is time once again to take a shot at another mystery. This time, writers from RNO and Foxes On Idol have put forward their thoughts on what Simon's big "twist" might be on American Idol. Oh, sure, we know that the first part is that not two, but four contestants will be chosen from the Wildcard show. But what about the second part? Simon has said it's a biggie, and Fox has continued to insist that it will not be Frenchie coming back.
One rumor has it that Simon told a British tabloid reporter that this year's show will crown two winners - one male, one female. The ladies will only compete against the ladies, and the men against the men. And a commercial for the show indicates that perhaps the viewing audience may have a say in the Wildcard vote. While either of these might be true, it didn't stop us from our less serious speculation. Let's take a look at the contributions by David Bloomberg, Jason Borelli, Mike DeGeorge, L. Dougherty, Brian James, Peggy Keller, Phil Kural, Sharon Rose, Jen Shrader, Sting7, and probably some others I forgot to list (sorry in advance to anybody I left out!).
The big twist is:
Simon is the Mole!
Kelly Clarkson really wants to be country singer and will be entering the Nashville Star competition.
Justin Guarini really wants to be Kelly Clarkson!
Juanita Barber was really Tamyra Gray!
Partrick Fortson is really the lovechild of Steve Perry and Randy Jackson!
Frenchie was Ruben in drag.
When Simon and Randy start criticizing the contestants, they bring out Robin Leach and Melissa Rivers to demand rain gear, tents, Kleenex, food, wine, cigarettes, and new judges.
The winner has to work for Nikki McKibbin's karaoke business for a year!
Robin Leach appears to tell them they cannot cannot cannot cannot cannot cannot cannot cannot pick a Wildcard from this bunch.
The top 12 have to go to boot camp like Making The Band 2.
To win, you have to spend five minutes buried alive with Alana Stewart and an angry possum!
Jim Verraros and RJ Helton have joined the Bloods and have come to smoke out Simon!
All the contestants have to sing Chubby Checker songs. (Get it? "The Twist"?)
All the singers have to perform the same song: "Muskrat Love."
Survivor's JoAnna will be punctuating their songs with backup "glory"s and "hallelujah"s.
In THE MOST DRAMATIC ROSE CEREMONY EVER, the judges will only have four roses to give out. If the contestants accept these roses, it means they want to continue on the journey.
Keith will be performing interpretive dance in the background.
Paula Abdul is held at gunpoint by a jealous, deranged Stacey Q.
Magilla steals all the contestants' outfits.
Corey Feldman insists on performing a song from his album.
The piano player is The Mole, and he has been sabotaging selected contestants by going too quickly or too slowly for them this entire time.
Other reality show contestants will be auditioning, such as David Broome's "Come On Be My Baby Tonight."
Tyson Beckford becomes a contestant and complains that his song was much more difficult than anybody else's.
Simon and Paula reveal they were secretly married in Vegas.
After they've sung, the contestants next have to pass the gross food challenge.
Corey Clark is disqualified when it's revealed he's actually Edgar in yet another disguise.
Simon tells the contestants no matter how well they do, just for trying they're all winners!
Tamika from last year comes back, because she mouthed off less than some of this year's semi-finalists!
The judges use Survivor Rob's Magic 8-Ball to pick the Wildcards. And also ask if they're going to score with 'em.
The contestants won't know what songs they have to do until they get onto the stage.
Someone will have immunity and can't get voted off. So The contestants will have write down their pick for who should go and hold up their picks after America's vote.
That one of the top 10 will come back to help judge.
Downtown Julie Brown tries out and, when she gets a poor review from Paula, whispers in her ear that if she says one more bad thing about her, "I'm gonna hurt you."
They will have to sing with someone from last season.
It's all been a dream, and when we tune in on Tuesday the real contestants will start singing.
They've been kidding - the last few weeks were really more best of the worst auditions.
They add a fear factor component in addition to the singing.
The extra half hour on Wednesday night will be spent looking at more photos of Simon's awkward teen years.
The seven women in the Wildcard round all mud-wrestle for the last spot in the top 12.
Ryan Seacrest is really 120 years old. Thank God for Botox.
Vanessa Olivarez is actually Nikki McKibbin's daughter.
Survivor's Heidi is the newest judge, and bases her rankings on whether or not they are cute like she is.