Survivor Psyche, Episode 3: Chinese Take-Out

Siren Song

The women's group is beginning to polarize into recognizable factions. We have the "older women" a.k.a. Jeanne, Deena, and Christy, who makes it in by default, since her peers, "The Cheerleaders" a.k.a. Shawna, Jenna, and Heidi, have excluded her. (Maybe she's not thin enough, pretty enough, or shallow enough, eh girls?) JoAnna is off in some weird elliptical orbit, which sometimes brings her in close enough to link up with Jeanne, then she spins off again on some personal crusade. The older women bathe first, and it's all very efficient and matter of fact. But when the cheerleaders head for the ole swimmin' hole, the producers (not to mention the cameramen) get all lathered up! We hear airy strains of women's voices, caroling angelically as the cheerleaders slowly soap up every inch of their glistening nubile flesh. They are inspired to drop their halters, and even act as one another's personal bathing attendants. In a soliloquy to the camera, Heidi lets the mask slip, and says, "Me, Jenna, and Shawna went off from the older women cause we're younger and cuter, we've got better bodies and for some reason that's a huge issue with older people." (Nothing like being hung with your own words, Heidi.) "We don't have these older women judging us and telling us what we should be doing." (Are these women in general, Heidi, or is this aimed at the "old ones" in your tribe?) Heidi caps off her snotty refrain with a repeat from last week of how she intends to "go topless after the merge" because that's all the men think about anyway. This is the kind of sexist jokiness that Brian Heidik indulged in last season, which we viewers brushed off at first. Brian joked about how the women deserved their lot as worker bees and actually liked it. Heidi is being just as stereotypically manipulative by thinking that the men can ruled by her boobs.

Star Man

As Matthew and Dave are off fishing for guppies, Dave's hidden identity as an emissary from Asteroid B-612 is revealed. Dave, aka The Little Prince, has had his head in the clouds, and hasn't noticed the maneuvering that has been going on below him on the earthly plane. Until, that is, Matthew "opened up my eyes." (Once again, we're forced to ponder - have you ever watched this show?) Our little rocket scientist has been focused solely on "survival," the mundane shelter, fire, and water kind, and has been totally clueless to the scheming of the others. Even Rob's skullduggery has gone undetected by the Tambaqui brainiac. Imagine a conversation between Dave and Rob, that goes something like this.

Foxy Rob and Prince Dave.

"Good morning!" said Foxy Rob.

"Good morning," the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.

"I am right here," the voice said, "under the palm tree."

"Who are you?" asked the little prince, and added, "You look very cunning, with your big ears and pointy nose."

"I am a fox," said Foxy Rob.

"Come and play with me," proposed Prince Dave. "I have landed in this swampy place and cannot find my way."

"I cannot play with you," said Foxy Rob. "I am looking for allies against the dominion of Roger."

""Ah! Please excuse me," said Prince Dave.

"You do not live here," said Foxy Rob. "What is it that you are looking for?"

"I am looking for men," said the little prince.

"Men," said the fox. "They have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also go fishing. These are their only interests. Are you looking for fish?"

"No," said the little prince. "I am looking for friends, and for someone who lives by honor and integrity and never, never lies about fish."

"Ah," said Foxy Rob. "To me, you are nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other star-struck little boys. And I have no need of you. But if you ally with me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world, for I declare that you are the best player, ever!"

"I am beginning to understand," said Prince Dave. "There is a flower named Jenna... I think that she has tamed me."

"It is possible," said Foxy Rob. "On the Earth one sees all sorts of things."

Immunity Challenge: Mousetrap

Only the children know what they are looking for. They waste their time over a rag doll and it becomes very important to them; and if anybody takes it away from them, they cry...

Compare and contrast. The women are in full battle mode as they prepare for the event. We see them girding their loins, hoisting their bodacious bosoms into place, donning clean socks, and arming themselves with the power of minty freshness. They march off to the challenge to a martial drumbeat. In contrast, the men arm themselves with the mighty powers of their Magic 8 Ball, with the burning question at hand: Will the guys "hook up?" "It is certain," the orb promises them.

When the tribes meet up at the challenge grounds, we notice that the men have festooned the idol with feathers in their tribal colors. Deena deadpans to Probst, "We'd like to remind them we had it first." Then, the two tribes are locked into the tree-limb cages and the race is on. By means of their superior finger dexterity, the women quickly surge ahead. For some unknown reason, Rocket Scientist Dave tries to finesse the rope securing the board instead of just whacking it apart with his machete. The tried-and-true cave man approach would have been the better choice. The women win their fourth challenge and get the idol back for the second time. (We're picturing Christy sneaking up behind JoAnna some night and scaring the Bejesus out of her with a petrifying performance of Idol Puppet Theater.)