Survivor Psyche, Episode 5: I’m Melting… Melting

The two spend the night in blissful slumber on the “big, soft bed,” despite their expressed fears that there would be much snoring, twitching, and passing of gas. They awake refreshed to a sumptuous repast. Does starved and emaciated Jenna load up on the croissants, cheese, or crackers? No, she nibbles on watermelon – a diuretic with laxative side effects. I’m sure it’s still got a higher calorie count than her usual breakfast of an Altoid and a cigarette.

Concierge Jeff appears and asks them how they hit it off. “We told each other everything, we didn’t hold back at all!” Jenna gushes ingenuously. Make that “We” into an “I” and you’d have that about right, you ditz. She doesn’t have a clue as to what is about to happen, but rocket scientist Dave has set her up perfectly. Jenna’s “Oh, shit!” moment comes when Probst dumps the name tiles on the table, like a sinister game of Mah Jong. Of course, Dave’s turn comes first, and he toys with Jenna saying, “I’ve only heard good things about Heidi.” We hear a muffled groan from Jenna who’s holding her head in her hands.

The tribes break down like this:
Tambagui: Dave, Heidi, Butch, Christy, Roger, Jeanne
Jaburu: Jenna, Alex, Deena, Rob, Shawna, Matthew
Probst hands out maps and new buffs.

New World Order

Rob’s nose hasn’t had a chance to settle back into place before golden boy Dave delivers another bruising blow. “I don’t think he has my best interests at heart. … He cares about Butch and about Roger,” Rob huffs to the camera after Dave announces the realignment. Principal Butch needs to have a little talk with Rob about his bad attitude.

The women at the Jaburu camp don’t even have a chance to brace themselves before Jenna delivers her blow: “Three of you are going to Tambaqui – Heidi, Jeanne, and Christy.” Heidi stands there thunderstruck. The remaining men of Tambaqui race around to prepare for the women’s arrival, inspiring Butch to slap his hands across his hair and Roger to don a shirt.

Jeanne is ecstatic at the prospect of joining a new tribe. “I was feeling fine,” she says gleefully. Christy is happy, too, but Deena, well, Deena needs to wear one of those thought balloons from now on that describe exactly what she’s thinking. Instead of being top dog, Deena is now underdog, and must start all over.

Jeanne, Christy, and Heidi get a very warm and gentlemanly welcome from Butch and Roger. As Christy did when the women arrived in the Jaburu camground, she announces her deafness to the men, but with remarkably different reactions. Roger stares awestruck at Christy the whole time while thoughtfully stroking his beard. “I’m surprised at how well she’s doing. I never would have guessed – it’s amazing,” he gushes to the camera. “I’m PSYCHED!” Christy yells in response to her welcome.

Panty Raid!

Alex, Rob, and Matthew race – and we mean race, over to the girls campsite. “Honey – we’re home!” Alex announces as they burst into camp. As soon as she hears the sound of masculine voices, Shawna experiences an amazing transformation. The Phoenix rises from the bundle of dirty rags formerly known as Shawna to greet the guys with enthusiastic hugs and kisses. “It’s amazing what a little bit of testosterone can do for somebody,” Deena deadpans.

The change of venue hasn’t done anything to change Rob’s weasly attitude. First he was pouting and whining about not being picked for dodge-ball and then switches to juvenile trash-talking. “I’m gonna wait to proposition any of these girls, but should Shawna and Jenna walk around here naked, I promise that I will not cast a vote in their direction until the merger,” he smirks. (You’re on the wrong tribe, buddy. Heidi was the one who threatened to walk around naked when the guys were around. Of course, that was her idea of strategy.)

It’s another round of Are You Hot?, this time with Alex and Rob, and Shawna and Jenna. Alex and Shawna hit it off right away. You’d never believe this bouncy minx was the same person who didn’t have the strength to scratch her grubby little nose an hour earlier. Alex: “Who got the most votes for hottest girl on Jaburu tribe?” Shawna: “Me?” Deena just grins and bears it. “Shawna may not be so interested in the chick thing anymore. Shawna may be in the Alex thing,” she admits. Deena’s expressions are priceless as Alex and Shawna segue into the “where’d you go to school,” bonding ritual.

”I Can See Clearly Now”

Roger and Butch indulge their warm fatherly sides by making sure that Christy and the other two women feel at home. They’ve added extra lights to the campground and make sure that there are plenty of lanterns in the tent so Christy can see everyone’s faces as they speak. She speaks plainly to the men about how much she appreciates their efforts. “I’m really glad I can be in a tribe where this lantern was useful. In the Jaburu tribe it wasn’t even possible.” Christy says she is in a really good position now.

Immunity Challenge: Amazon Word Scramble

Each tribe has to find five Amazon creature words on a big chalkboard. They’re evenly matched, but the new Jaburu tribe finds their words first and race to the river to round up the matching flags and win the challenge.