Surviving the Amazon, Episode 7: Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye!

Deena finds it amusing that poor Roger is making all sorts of plans for later that night, but he's going home and doesn't know it. For his part, Roger says the women are going - it's that simple. It looks like it's all falling into place.

Jenna and Heidi seem very proud of themselves. Jenna says they are the original "Survivor girls gone wild." (Coming soon to a porno theater near you!) Heidi says they are "the Amazon chicks." (Watch soon for their Playboy spreads.) Jenna thinks it's so funny that the guys think they will be picking them off (just for the record, only three of the guys actually think that - I thought we'd established that Heidi could count to four, but perhaps we're backsliding).

Dave says all four of the women realize they are going quickly and won't be surprised. Heh. Well, no, they won't be surprised at all, rocket scientist.

Rob says he figured out early on that the other guys were a bunch of jamokes. They have no idea the women are capable of taking them all out. He says he knows he will be the last man standing, as none of the other guys have any idea what is going on around them. (Before you say that Alex and Matt do, remember that they don't know about Rob's alliance within an alliance with Jenna and Deena. Then again, I wonder if Rob still thinks Jenna will pick him and Deena over Heidi…)

It's time for Tribal Council - otherwise known as "Roger's Comeuppance." Probst begins with Butch, asking what the tribe's first order of business was upon being merged. He says it was to "establish a place of residence." And he wanted to include everybody. Well, was everybody included? Rob says they all had a part to play. And if they didn't know what they were good at, there were a couple people who would tell them what to do. They did get the shelter up pretty quickly, though.

Probst takes Rob's oh-so-subtle hint and asks if he is suggesting there were bossy people or Rob just likes being subservient to people who decide what to do. Ever cautious, Rob says he likes being subservient. Hey, no point in pissing off Roger just in case something goes wrong with the planned vote, right?

Deena says they didn't need to be the ones actually putting together the four corners of the shelter, because they had a chance to re-bond with one another instead. Probst turns to Roger, describing a "smug look" on his face. Roger says you can't have too many Indians doing the work.

Moving on, Probst tells Jenna that she and Heidi provided the highlight. But aside from getting naked for peanut butter, they were the first two off not long into it. Where did their confidence come from? Jenna says if one of them were to be kicked off because of not hanging in there, it was worth it. Heidi agrees. (I'm sure Rob and Alex and Matthew and Dave agree as well!) As for Roger, well, he says he knew he was not going to win anyway so he figured he might as well jump. Probst asks him if he knew he needed it, would he have hung in longer? Roger replies that if he felt he needed to, he would have given it his all. Poor oblivious Roger…

It looks like immunity can once again be "assigned" to somebody else. But Deena chooses not to. Viewers everywhere wonder why this was brought back since it's never been used.

Time to vote. We see Roger vote for Christy, saying he wishes she'd hung in there because she contributed greatly to the tribe. Deena votes for Roger, saying, "Reality check and mate. Never underestimate the power of a woman." And we get what is certainly the funniest voting speech ever.

Rob votes for Roger and says, in a Casey Casem voice mimicking his Top 40 show, "Here comes tonight's long distance dedication. It goes out to Rob from New York. He writes, 'Dear Casey, there is a mean old man in my life that's about to leave. Can you please play something appropriate for me?' Well, Rob, here's your request." He then begins to sing, "Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye…"

The votes are counted. Things are going the way Roger expects as he gets one, then two, then three, then four. OK, those are the female votes, so the rest should be for Christy, who has three showing, right? Wrong. Five. Uh oh. And six. Bye, Roger!

Butch looks stunned. Dave is wondering what the hell is going on. Jenna smiles. Rob mostly keeps a straight face, with a tinge of a smirk.

In Roger's last words, he acknowledges some of his faults, saying he is a very strong individual and a leader - he can't hold that back. He said from the beginning that he is his own worst enemy in this game because he can be very strong-willed. But he'll never see these people again in his life (I guess he forgot about the finale, the post-finale shows, etc.). He doesn't think he got outwitted or outplayed, but he was definitely outlasted. Um, okay Roger, but how do you suppose you were outlasted? I have an answer - you were outplayed and outwitted.

I have to say, this was a fun episode. I like the way the producers didn't even try to make us think there was a chance that anybody other than Roger was going. They just took us along for the ride and let us share the inside joke as we watched him - kind of like watching Joe Millionaire. As Mike DeGeorge said to me, this was good writing: You introduce the villain, make the audience hate him, and let us cheer when he loses!

Next week, Matt loses touch with reality and is repeatedly sharpening his machete with a wild look in his eyes. Ooooh, scary. And I'm sure nothing is taken out of context there! Also, Heidi and Dave are "in touch" with each other - which annoys Rob because she's supposed to be in his alliance against Dave. Looks to be interesting - and it's back on Thursday again!

David Bloomberg is the Editor of RealityNewsOnline and can be reached at rno@pobox.com.

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