All American Girl, Episode 2: The Boot Camp

“Pick the girl who you think has had plastic surgery.”

“Which girl has the best sexual style?”

Now, this last question had me sitting there in stunned silence for a moment wondering just what the contestants have been discussing behind closed doors, but it turns out that it just refers to the sexual vamping that shows up during some of the events. This leaves me with mixed emotions. On the one hand I’m a bit relieved. On the other, I realize just how badly this show is in need of a ratings boost and a golden opportunity has just slipped by.

Day 2 begins with a 6 am wakeup call. The girls are hustled (get it?) in front of choreographer Carrie Ann Inaba. The dance is quite complex and the girls aren’t given a whole lot of time to master the steps. Ali (apologies to both Ali and her dad, who politely e-mailed me with the correct spelling of her name) tries gamely but tells us that she fears her dancing isn’t strong enough and she is worried about being eliminated. With very few exceptions though, the girls’ performances are far from stellar. We see Evelyn watching Suzanne watching Evelyn and the tension looks thick enough carve. John’s team does well with both Andrea and Kelly coming through in the clutch. In fact, Kelly reaches out to clutch on to John Salley, who is surprisingly uncomfortable with the contact.

The moment of elimination arrives and each of the girls meets with her coach in a one-on-one session. Suzanne’s team goes first. Her comments:

Ali – “You have something special and I’m passing you on to the next round.”

Natalie – “I want to see you trying harder every single day. I’m passing you on.”

Tara – “I think you’ve done a great job. I’m passing you through.”

This leaves Carrie and Evelyn and Suzanne’s comments to each are shown in an odd montage that makes it almost impossible to discern what comment was said to which girl. Finally Suzanne says, “You are eliminated,” and we see that it is Evelyn that she is speaking to, much to the surprise and shock of absolutely no one. Evelyn leaves the show and heads off to the next juggling while reciting the States in alphabetical order and balancing on a log competition. Keep checking here at RealityNewsOnline for our upcoming interview with Evelyn.

Up next is Geri Halliwell’s group. Her comments:

Monica – “It’s such a hard decision to make. You’re through.” Monica sits and tries to deal with the harsh news that she’s just been eliminated and is finally told that this comment meant that she is through to the next round of competition.

Jessica – “Congratulations, you’re in.”

Kira – “You’re developing into a great All American Girl!”

The last two are Melanie and Kristi and once again the comments are shown in a montage form. Finally Geri says, “You are too strong in one area and just not well rounded enough,” and Melanie is gone. As she leaves the show, Melanie admits that she’s been rejected a lot in her life.

Finally, John’s team faces the music. John’s comments:

Ashley – “You were on the fence and today you passed over it to the other side.”

Shannon – “You’ve got what it takes.”

Shauna – “I have my doubts about you, but you’re in.”

Montage time. John’s final comment, “You were my favorite, but you’re just not strong enough.” This we learn is spoken to Kelly, so Andrea has managed to survive another elimination and we can only wonder if Kelly might have survived had she not gotten quite so friendly with coach John during the dance competition.

Thus far the show has been leading up to the final ten girls who we have been told will be eliminated through viewer call-ins. In the teaser for the next episode we are told that one girl will be eliminated and it will be by viewer vote. I don’t know why this surprises me. After all, there are 12 girls left in the competition and by the math employed on the show thus far it can only mean it’s time to start eliminating the top ten!

Mr. Barker is co-owner of Movie Boss (www.movieboss.com), a free online movie game, and author of "Zippers," a humor column that looks at mistakes in movies. He can be reached at BBarker@movieboss.com.

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