Imagine me, sitting by my TV, watching some really unfunny excuse for a comedian telling a joke about a cat and a gym. Just waiting for the coveted Adult Singers Category, when all of a sudden, it happens. Breaking news from CBS tells me that we have started bombing Iraq. The war had begun.
This was the scene two weeks ago in my living room when only the first half of the Star Search finale aired. And here I am again. Watching as Arsenio tells me about this jam-packed evening of Star Search. Not only are we going to finish the interrupted finals, we’re also going to begin another edition. We have our three “regular” judges back – Naomi Judd, Ben Stein, and Ahmet Zappa. And tonight they are joined by guest judge LeAnn Rimes, who was also judging two weeks ago when they were cut short.
So, let the Stars Shine…
First up is the finale of the Adult Singers Category.
Chantele - “I Will Always Love You” She gets out there and sings her butt off. Now, she is no Whitney, that’s not to hard to tell, but by the end of the song she’s endeared herself to me. She has an amazing energy. The judges seem to like her, although you could tell LeAnn isn’t completely impressed.
Freedom - “I Love Music” Freedom chose a pretty schmaltzy, mediocre song, but he gives a strong and soulful performance. He could have stretched more. I mean, he doesn’t seem like he is going to the brink of his abilities, but he does well enough to get Naomi to say that he would be a “Big Star!”
Well, Chantele and Freedom are close. This is the prefect chance for America to get the say. And they decide… they’re tied. 33-33. Fortunately for America, this means that it comes down to what you said. Take that Naomi. Chantele is declared the winner. She’s good and all, but you shouldn’t expect any record-breaking albums any time soon if you ask me.
Next we have the Comics Category.
Robert Robert’s up first and unfortunately he is doing the same routine he did two weeks ago. I have to say, I didn’t think he was funny then, and I don’t think he’s any funnier now. The judges seem to have to force themselves to laugh, especially poor LeAnn Rimes. LeAnn, I feel your pain. Naomi states it best when she says that Robert is an “aquired taste.” Yeah, and I’m not tasting it.
Horace Now I think this guy is MUCH better. I mean, he is witty, he is natural, and best of all, the judges love him. Five Stars. Five Stars. Five Stars. Now it’s down to Naomi Judd, and she has a joke of her own. “Did you hear the one about the comedian who got perfect fives.”
It’s clear who should win here, and it looks like it might just happen too. Arsenio hits me with the digits, and it’s… HORACE! Congratulations, now you can get a guest spot in a CBS sitcom. Hey, if you get on “Yes, Dear” you might do about as well as Mike Boogie has. Speaking of, where is he??
The third series is now ready to begin, with all of our second series victors crowned. Let’s kick it off with the kids in the Young Singers Category.
Paula - “I Hope You Dance” Now this is a girl after my own heart. She’s sweet, she’s beautiful, and what a pair of lungs on that girl. I mean, she can SING! Unfortunately, she’s also fourteen, so I’m going to step away slowly. Okay, the long notes might have gotten a little tiresome, but I think we can forgive such a small mistake, right judges? Well, not LeAnn Rimes. She thought Paula was a bit “pitchy.” Is LeAnn starting to sound like Paula Abdul or is it just me?
Jeremy - “I’ll Be There” Jeremy is what I think this competition is all about. He has great vocals, he seems like he’s having fun, maybe only a little bit nervous, and he sounds his age. I mean, I’m sick of all these kids singing who sound like 35-year-old opera stars. He has a pure, young, soulful sound, and I like it. Apparently so does Naomi Judd. I think she has bedroom eyes as she tells the young boy he was “juicy, ripe, and delicious.” Yikes! Naomi, I think Michael Jackson and R. Kelly have the “I’m a Celebrity who likes small children” positions filled, so keep it to yourself, okay?
Well, I just don’t know what to think. Both kids blew me away. This is going to be a tough one, but with a score of 33-35, Jeremy wins and advances. Poor Paula, there’s always “American Junior Idol.”