Surviving the Amazon, Episode 8: It Doesn't Take a Rocket Scientist…

We begin Day 22 in the Amazon with Deena and Rob trying to find a place to hang Roger's underwear. I wish that were a joke. Personally, I wouldn't have gone anywhere near it. It probably smells like spoiled vinegar.

But in any event, Deena says Roger was a sexist and arrogant man (for the record, Roger denied being a sexist in his interview with RealityNewsOnline; make of that what you will) and the tribe is a happier place now. Besides, she feels firmly in control. Her panties are still on fire and she's going 120 mph.

No, I don't know what that means either.

Dave finds his situation interesting - it's a prime example that nobody knows what is going on (well, some people did - just not you, Butch, or Roger). His stability has been turned upside down because he put his roots in an alliance with Roger. He has to go back and play the game now.

But instead, he goes out with Butch to build a dock for their boat so people don't have to get their feet wet. Perhaps he thinks he can build his way out of a vote. Um. That didn't exactly work for Roger, though…

Rob surprises all the viewers by saying he has had an axe to grind with Dave for quite a while. No kidding! He says Dave thinks he's the smartest guy (well, he is a rocket scientist), the smoothest guy that all the girls want to be with (well, he has claimed to have threesomes), etc. He's arrogant and must go next!

Rob continues that the main alliance is himself, Deena, Jenna, Heidi, and Alex. They all agree Dave is next if he doesn't win immunity.

For his part, Dave says he is going to be himself - a hard worker but also a fun guy. He hopes people like him for who he is and let him stay around.

Moving on, what's that scary music in the background? Ah, it's because Matthew is sharpening his machete… over and over again… Rob says he's the craziest person he's ever met. Deena asks if anybody else in the tribe is concerned over the time he spends with the machete. Somebody asks if he will butcher them. Matthew says no, he won't hurt anyone. He doesn't like the sight of blood.

But Christy still finds him creepy. Rob says he sharpens it for an hour at a time - why would he need it so sharp? He's gonna kill them, Rob is sure. If they vote him out, he may pull out the machete and kill them all…

On a saner note, Alex notes that Matt is a physical threat… and he is kind of losing it.

Time for the reward challenge, which doesn't involve machetes (that has to wait for the immunity challenge). It is played in two rounds. First a group of three is belted together on a bungee. They have to run in a mud pit to grab flags that are progressively farther away from them. They have to grab one, bring it to the base, then go back. Of course, the farther out they go, the harder to stretch the bungee. The second round pits the winning three against each other, doing essentially the same thing, but with only three flags instead of five.

The winner gets an afternoon of refreshment - cool bath, banana split, chocolate syrup, brownie sundae, strawberries and cream, etc.

The three teams are Christy, Rob, and Butch; Deena, Dave, and Alex; Jenna, Matt, and Heidi.

As the challenge begins, all of them are falling over one another - they quickly figure out the need to work as a team, though. Matt, Jenna, and Heidi start out in the lead, with Deena, Dave, and Alex close behind. You can pretty much forget about Rob, Butch, and Christy. The other two teams exchange the lead once or twice, and as it gets down to the wire, Deena, Dave, and Alex get the fifth flag before the others. They win the first round.

In the head-to-head match, Dave takes an early lead with Alex close behind. Deena is out pretty much as soon as it begins. Good thing Roger isn't there to see that. Dave gets his second. Alex gets his. Dave gets the third and makes it back - Dave wins!

Of course, he's not going alone. He can take one person. Doing it the fairest way possible, he puts his hand behind his back and holds up two fingers. He then asks Deena and Alex to each pick a number - either one or two. Deena picks two, Alex one. Deena wins and goes with Dave.

They arrive at their afternoon vacation spot to find separate tubs, soap and other bathing utensils, and all the food mentioned earlier. Realizing that the ice cream will melt, they attack that first, ooohing and aaaahing over it until they eat everything there… and realize that perhaps they shouldn't have.

Then it's time for a bath! After they soap up and relax a bit, it's time for Dave to start talking strategy. He says it, ahem, doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that he's quite f****d. It's fantastic to have made the journey but it would be nice to stick around a couple more days. Deena claims to have no power to change the vote. She tells him he's the strongest and therefore the greatest threat (she should have pointed out that by winning the reward challenge, he only reinforced that point). She says the only way is if they accelerate the 5150 status of Matt. I have no idea what she's talking about. I think today I really could have used a Deena-to-English dictionary. Wait, this just in - I've been told that "5150" is the L.A. criminal code for the criminally insane (remember that Deena is a district attorney). Thank goodness fellow RNO writer Jamie Goralski had the Deena-to-English dictionary handy. Hmmm. Jamie also has "5150" in her e-mail address. I'd better keep her away from machetes…

Anyway, Dave says he needs to try to salvage himself. Deena tells him she'll see what she can do - she owes him that for letting her have a bath with him.