Surviving the Amazon, Episode 8: It Doesn't Take a Rocket Scientist…

Meanwhile, back at the camp, Heidi is whining that this is Dave's second shower. Awww. So Heidi and Jenna go to wash the mud off at the river. Alex kindly offers his help, but they say they'll let him know if they need any. As they go, Heidi whines some more about how they've been talking about ice cream for so long. Then Jenna rationalizes it by saying they don't need the fat anyway. Well, it's supposed to be a rationalization. Somehow, though, it wouldn't surprise me if she were serious.

As the two of them are washing themselves, Rob is watching. He says Heidi and Jenna have a nickname: Twigs and Sticks. Because that's what their legs are like. He adds that he would catch on fire if he saw Twigs and Sticks rubbing together. Thank you, Rob. Anyway, he goes on to say that he likes his alliance with Twigs and Sticks but doesn't know if they'd pay him any attention in real life - and that's something he always keeps in the back of his mind. He is aware that they try to use their sexuality to make him do things he wouldn't normally do. But he is playing with his head, even if it looks like he's playing with another head.

When Dave and Deena come back, the others are shocked and upset to find that the two of them profess hunger and want to eat their manioc and fish. How dare they! They had ice cream! Both of them say it wasn't really much or very filling. Jenna says privately, "Screw you, you fat pig!" She wants to eat her own manioc. I think she was kidding…

Jenna adds that it was mostly Dave complaining, and that you'd think Dave would let them eat their fish after he had his ice cream.

Switching gears a bit, we're back to Rob complaining! This time he's upset because Heidi seems to have a relationship with Dave. Dave has his arms around her when they go to sleep. She is supposedly playing Dave but for all Rob knows, she could be playing him instead. Besides, if Dave weren't there - in Rob's World - maybe he would have his arms around Heidi instead. You just keep dreamin' there, pal. But in any event, he doesn't like somebody in his alliance sleeping with the enemy.

After this bit, we get to find out that gnats like to fly around people's heads. I'm thinking, "You mean there was nothing else more important or entertaining to show us than that?"

Getting back to Matthew, he says he is energized and that this is a really good group. He appreciates and values his relationship with Rob. Rob knows the game inside and out, and Matt says he's clueless, so he's learning from Rob.

Rob would agree that Matt is clueless. He says he has to keep Matt from finding out that he has a different deal with everybody than Matt thinks. Rob has told Matt that it's Rob, Matt, and Alex in the final three. But he also tells Matt to keep it all very hush-hush so nobody will find out. In reality, Rob wants to get rid of Matt as soon as he can because he's told him too many lies and worries that Matt will figure it out.

It's just about time for the immunity challenge. Before that, they all get ceramic masks. No, this isn't going to be a preview of the upcoming Fox reality show, Mr. Personality (to be hosted by Monica Lewinsky). They have to paint the masks to represent themselves. Then they bring them to the immunity challenge.

The challenge is another version of the coconut chopping challenge that spelled the end for the Rotu-4 back in the Marquesas. The masks are hung with a big log opposite them. The log is held in place by three ropes. If all three are cut, the log swings and smashes the mask. And how would they be cut? By each contestant, of course. They all have to answer questions and then those who get it right get to chop a rope (told you this challenge involved machetes). Last person left with a mask wins immunity.

The first question asks about a Brazilian energy drink. Deena, Dave, Alex, and Matthew get it right. They chop in random order, with Dave cutting at Matt and then Deena cutting at Matt. Matt returns the favor to Dave, and then Alex adds his chop to Dave. It's only the first question and already both Dave and Matthew have two ropes chopped.

Second question asks what they should do in the unlikely event they are attacked by an alligator, crocodile, or cayman. Should they punch it in the snout, cover its eyes, get on its back, or all of the above. Oddly, "sue the producers" wasn't included as a choice. Anyway, the answer is "all of the above" and Deena, Dave, Christy, Heidi, Alex, and Matt get it right. Heidi goes first and knocks out Matt. Matt knocks out Dave. Dave chops at Alex. So does Deena. Alex takes revenge on Deena. Christy gives Alex his third chop and he's gone. Three down in two questions.

Third question: If you find yourself face-to-face with a bushmaster, what are you looking at? A giant white toucan? A tribesman? A viper? Or a forest ranger? Rob is the only one to get it wrong. He says until the choices were read, he thought it was a porn star. Thank you, Rob. Getting back to the game, Deena gives Rob a chop - perhaps for that joke. Heidi does as well. Jenna goes for Butch. But Christy puts Rob out of the game. See how much trouble one bad joke can cause? Butch takes revenge on Jenna.

True or false? Amazon tribesmen still use primitive weapons like bow & arrow and blowguns to hunt birds and monkeys. True. All get it right. Surprisingly, we don't hear Rob in the background saying, "Heh heh. He said 'blow.'" Heidi chops at Butch, Butch returns the favor, and Jenna knocks him out. After Butch sees the log destroy his mask, he comments that many of his students would like to do that. Christy chops Deena and Deena chops back at her.