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Star Search, April 9: Stinking Up the Jointby Brad Stevens -- 04/10/2003
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That’s right folks, Star Search is back, and so am I. This is the third show of the third series, and the performers better be on their game, because the semi-finalists who are already in will be tough to beat. We have a few people who are up to the challenge, though. But before we get to them, we must remember our panel of judges.
Naomi Judd is back tonight, ready to lay the smack down on some people by the looks of things. Ben Stein is in his obligatory seat as well, and filled with praises for our troops. Ben, how patriotic of you! Ahmet Zappa rounds out our permanent judges. And as for our guest judge, Kathy Najimy is joining our esteemed panel. You probably remember Kathy from such classics as Sister Act, Hocus Pocus, and… Veronica’s Closet. Well, at least the first two, seeing as nobody actually watched Veronica’s Closet.
Anyway, enough about these four. They’ll have their say soon enough. And to start it off we have the Junior Singers Category.
Melissa - “Part of Your World”I think Melissa sounds fantastic. She is very true to her song, and I think she pulls it off without missing a beat. But what do the judges think?
That gives Melissa a grand total of 13 stars.
Mariah - “Fame”
Let me just say that, I think she is TOTALLY unauthentic when she’s talking in her bio. She seems like she’s reading off a cue card. But I suppose it’s her performance that counts. Unfortunately, I don’t like it much better. It’s not that she’s singing the song badly, but I feel like I’m watching a 32-year-old instead of a 9-year-old. It just kind of ruins it for me. The shaky low notes don’t help. And is anyone else noticing the Julia DeMato side-stepping going on too? I will say though that her ending is much stronger. Will that be enough to save her?
That gives Mariah a grand total of 14 stars.
Well, Melissa and Mariah are close. 13-14. This is the perfect chance for America to reverse it. Give it to Melissa. For the sake of not sounding like an aging Whitney Houston, please. And they decide… that the big voice wins. It’s Mariah, 27-30. Oh well, I guess I can’t win them all.
Next we have the Young Dancer Category.
Shockwave begins. Arsenio reveals that this first group will be… clogging? They pop on screen and claim they want to show people it’s not just a country dance. Of course their claim is delivered in a strong, slow southern accent. Right, I’ll keep this in mind.
First off let me say that they’re dressed like hideous cheerleaders from the 1980s. Yikes! They are really good though, and very synchronized. For those of you who aren’t dance experts like me (in case you didn’t realize, that was dripping with sarcasm), you might like to know that I’ve found that to be the key to group numbers. Let’s see if that’s what the judges think as well…
Shockwave had a total of 19 stars.
Larissa starts out by telling us that she is very dedicated to dance. Her family relocated to let her pursue her dream and she is even home schooled. This makes me very sad for her. I think that can cause tremendous pressure on kids, and it just doesn’t seem normal. Let her grow up like any other kid, and THEN let her pursue her dreams. Ah, but what do I know?
As for her dancing, I do think she’s very good. She reminds me of an ice skater, doing twirls and spins. (These are the technical terms, mind you.) It didn’t blow me away though, just pretty blah. Are the judges more moved?
That leaves Larissa with 15 stars.
19 stars for Shockwave, and 15 for Larissa. It seems Shockwave should win pretty easily. But we can’t be sure until Arsenio hits us with his digits. 34-30, Shockwave wins. Good for them! I think they may just clog their way to the top.1 2 Next-->
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