American Idol 2, April 16: Wake Up, Virginia...

The night after Billy Joel songs and Smokey Robinson's visit. The judges continue to grow more impatient with the level of performances they are seeing, even from the stalwarts, and Kimberley Locke announced her arrival with one of the best performances I'd ever seen on either season of American Idol!

Yeah, but that's me! What did America think?

Ryan welcomes us to the show, intros the judges and the contestants.

Ryan says there were 18 million votes cast last night (three million less last than the week before. No one was on red alert this week... hmmm).

The seven remaining contestants perform Billy Joel's "The Longest Time." (There is Clay with Carmen again. They generate about as much heat as Rip Taylor and Ruth Buzzi. Man, Kimberley Locke's voice is resonant in this number, they must have her mike up twice as high as Kimberly Caldwell and Carmen. I barely hear them at all!)

Hey, it's time for another wacky poll. "What Do You Think? a) Simon b) Ryan c) Sponge Bob Squarepants? Randy and Simon keep asking 'what's the question?' (They've never taken this kind of test? Ginger or MaryAnn? Rocky or Bullwinkle? Great taste or less filling?)

Amazingly, Ryan channels my thoughts, they rush through his body, and he snaps at Simon, "All you have to do this show is sit there, so shut-up!"

Meow!

On to business. Time to reveal the lowest three vote-getters. Last night, I predicted it would be Josh, Kim C. and Carmen. Here's how it went.

Clay Aiken - (actually impressed me again last night) is safe.

Kimberly Caldwell - (mediocre again) is in the bottom three. Paula's lip-gloss encrusted lips mumble, "I don't believe this." (Which again makes me wonder if the judges know who is leaving.)

Ruben Studdard - (it's going to be interesting to see how, or even if, Ruben steps to Simon's challenge) is safe.

Carmen Rasmusen - (I don't know what to say anymore) is in the bottom three. She should be.

Joshua Gracin is safe. (Correction: The Marine is safe!)

That leaves Trenyce and Kimberley Locke. Neither of them should be in the bottom 3, JOSH! At least I know both of them were way better than Carmen or Kim C... don't I? It's a commercial. More like "strategic in-show product sponsor advertisement." Clay Aiken is Speed Racer. I may be the biggest Speed Racer fan there ever, ever, ever was. Clay Aiken may be a lot of things, but he's no Speed Racer! (Ever notice how much Jeff Gordon looks like Speed Racer? What were we talking about? Oh!)

About that AT&T poll... the results were (Ryan says he thinks it's rigged): Simon 25%, Ryan 41%, Sponge Bob 34%. We'll all sleep easier tonight. I know I will.

Are there any other sponsors who need to shill something? Oh, here's Morgan Fairchild for Old Navy doing an interpretive dance in a thong with two tigers and a rusty pair of nail clippers!

Anyone else? Okay.

Kimberley Locke - is safe!

Trenyce - is in the bottom three, again. Grrr!

Trenyce gives a sisterly hug to Kim C. and Carmen. Ryan asked the judges if they are surprised.

Randy - "Kim C. shouldn't be there, I thought she was actually good last night."

Paula - "It's kinda tough... I think only one raised their game and that's Kim, the other were did a good job but you have to be at your best at this level."

Simon - "...we've seen that one person can come out the top (he meant bottom three) three and win this competition with one song and that's Kimberley Locke! It's anybody's contest. So remember that, you three up there!" Paula chimes in that she agrees. Randy says that's the way it should be.

Oh, yes. Fans of Ruben and Clay, do not get too comfy. The game has changed!

One of the bottom will be sent back to the safety of the couch. That contestant is... Trenyce!

That leaves Kimberly Caldwell and Carmen Rasmusen. Based on their performances, it does not surprise me that they are in this spot. At all. Ryan asks them what do think will happen next? The girls have frozen mannequin smiles on their faces. Ryan then asks "Who do think is leaving?" What the hell kind of question is that? "You want to know, don't you?" Why does this suddenly sound like a hostage scene from Starsky and Hutch?

Eliminated Idol number six is... Kimberly Caldwell.

You heard me.

Kimberly gives a gracious goodbye and thank you as all three judges, Kim's mother, Former Pick to Click JD Adams, and the audience give her a standing ovation. Kimberly. That racehorse analogy I made in my mid-season report card bore out: she had the papers, she won lots of little races, she has all the tools, but she can't win the big ones. Kimberly was never better than pretty good. Somehow, I don't think we've heard the last of her, though.

Kim's video package plays and then all the contestants sing "God Bless the USA" since the single dropped yesterday! (What? You hadn't heard? Well then, click here to buy it for just a few bucks!)

And that's a wrap.

Carmen goes on, and I've been saying that Kimberley and Trenyce could step up and challenge Ruben and Clay for this thing, and Kimberley has managed to do that! Can Trenyce find her formula? Can Ruben raise his game like Clay has? Have people finally begun to respect Kimberley Locke? Six contestants to go, who knows what will happen next!

Sting7 can be reached at stingseven@yahoo.com.

Be sure to sign up for our e-mail update so you can stay informed about new articles on the site! And take a look at the rest of the site. You can find all of our recent AI2 articles at the American Idol 2 page -- and don't forget to check out The Foxes On Idol Website for more great coverage!

For more news about reality TV, be sure to check out SirLinksALot!