Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Battle of the Sexes Episode 15: Passing the Franc

Previously on Battle of the Sexes: Some guy with a weird face and an annoying voice tells us that there's no need for the Men's Inner Circle to deliberate who gets voted off. Oh, that's Puck? Man, it's been a while. I still hate him. James and Emily are still a couple. She loves being in Jamaica with him. Christina thinks it's good to see a couple supportive of each other. Emily calls him the best friend she ever had. And once again, Christian, Devon, and Timmy cry.

James and Shane are sitting around one of the Villas. James feels "sketchy" about being at the bottom of the standings. A graphic shows that James has 314 points, while Shane has 315. James figures that he has to be two places better than Shane in the next mission. "James is built for competitions," Emily interviews. "This is where he feels comfortable. This is what he loves." James thinks that the eliminations have been done in a fair way, adding "I'm going to be going for it, just like anybody else, dude." He and Shane laugh, while I hyperventilate. He said "dude"! Fifteen episodes, and he finally cracked a "dude"! If you watched a lot of Maximum Velocity Tour or Extreme Challenge, you know James is all about the "dude." This is truly a landmark.

Women's Villa. The Sponsor Phone rings. This time, it falls on Melissa to read the instructions: the men wear Speedos, while the women wear two-piece swimsuits. Ellen wonders why the guys can't wear trunks. Melissa wonders what's with the bikinis. "We're going to do something very humiliating," Ellen suggests. "Dude, I'll humiliate myself," Melissa counters. "I need 50 G's." I hope Emily doesn't find out Melissa said "dude." She might think Melissa is making a play for James.

Sunset. Mission site. Jonny's there with three guys and two girls, all in red shirts. Jonny welcomes everybody to Human Aquarium. The objective is to stay submerged in the aquarium while holding a cup of fish upright between the knees. Emily expositions that they will use snorkels to breathe, and that their bodies much stay submerged, save for the knees and one hand. Jonny adds that there is a twist: every five minutes, a "new marine resident" would be added to the tank. Shane and Mark run down the list of creatures to be dumped every five minutes: lobsters, sea urchins, and shrimp. You think Melissa is going to like this mission? "This isn't really me at all." Shane and Mark continue: sea cucumbers, algae, and crabs. Melissa: "Not really into that, either." The weird thing is, she's wearing the same outfit from the first week. Can you say "out of context"? Jonny notes that the winner gets a winter vacation for the whole team. The women already have the ski and snowboard package, so that would be a nice bonus. Oh, and there's the Ion Lifesaver, making its penultimate appearance.

The contestants strap on the snorkel gear. Jonny counts down from ten while the contestants submerge themselves. Shots of Ellen, Jamie, and Mark. The goggles make Mark's eyes look really big. One of the red-shirted women points at Melissa. Already? Melissa interviews that water is coming into her snorkel. Jonny sounds the airhorn, stepping back as Melissa thrashes out of the water. Total time: 25 seconds.

Shot of snorkels jutting out of the water. A redshirt points somebody out: Emily. She coughs up water, throwing her snorkel and goggles away. Her time: 49 seconds. She interviews that she's disappointed, and she hopes her score will be fine.

Another snorkel shot. Colin's eyes bug out before Jonny taps him out. Colin interviews that when Emily got out, the water got into his mask. He chucks his bottle, finishing at one minute, three seconds.

After shots of Ellen and Mark, Lori surfaces (2:05). Ruthie interviews that she felt Lori leaving on her left, but could still feel Genesis on her right. She adds that she really wants the women to win.

Another shot of goggles and knees. Jonny instructs a redshirt to tap Ellen out, since her head came up. She lasted 3:20. This was not the most well thought-out mission.

Finally, Jonny gets to add some "marine residents." With five people out in under five minutes, this would be as good a time as any. Jonny and the redshirts dump sea urchins into the tank. Mark's eyes dart around. The soundtrack goes into a Jaws riff. Shane interviews that he can feel the urchins sucking on his skin. "They're fine," Ruthie interviews. "Sea urchins are harmless, unless they sting you." More are dumped into the tank, and Genesis decides she's had enough, surfacing at 5:07.

Underwater shot of a fish. Jamie has urchins on his chest. Jonny tells a redshirt girl to tap Ruthie, since her head came up. On all that I hold holy, the editors put in a sound effect from the pinball game on my laptop. What is up with that? Did Bunim-Murray Productions decide to save their money and good editing techniques for The Real Cancun? Ruthie notes that only the guys are left, and it's disappointing. Melissa interviews that she's tired of losing. The editors replay all six women messing up, in case we didn't get it the first time.

Jonny pulls Mark up. Mark has that "What did I do?" look on his face. He interviews that he floated to the top, and his forehead was exposed. He adds that the only ones left are Shane, James, Antoine, and Jamie. Who's having the most fun? Jamie interviews that he's in his environment, going so far as to name his urchins. In a rare show of editing genius, the urchins' names are shown: Sebastian, Ken, and Wilbur.

The redshirts pour in sea cucumbers. Jamie sticks his hand in his Speedos, since he doesn't want to get bitten there. Lobsters are dumped in. Shrimp are poured in. Mark and Colin shout to the remaining players, warning them of the seaweed. The time elapsed is 27:16, and crabs are introduced. Here come the brown sea urchins. Antoine interviews that he had to punch those away from his body. A crab scuttles on the tank floor, obviously angry he couldn't get on Survivor.

Elapsed time: 39:26. Jamie chokes under the water. He interviews that his snorkel was leaking, and he had to blow out water. Melissa quietly mutters, "Oh no no no." She still loves the big dope. Anyway, he surfaces at 42:55, interviewing that he's happy with his performance. "We're all one big happy family down there," he adds.

Mark interviews that Antoine, James, and Shane are in the water, adding that James has the most to gain, since he's in last place. James interviews that he has to remain there. Ellen interviews that Shane is comfortable under the water, but James is a fighter and Antoine is chilling. She adds, "This is going to take a long, long time before this is over."

Back from commercials, Ellen yells to the remaining players that they've been under for two hours. I hate to think how wrinkled they'll be once they come out. Colin shouts encouragement to Antoine: "Do it for the Motherland, 'Toine!" I thought Belgium was the Uncleland. Ellen yells encouragement to Shane. Shane interviews that it's all about staying power, adding, "If James wins, he's staying." A graphic pops us to remind us that Shane has 315 points and James has 314. James interviews that he's not coming up before Shane.

Shot of fish, followed by a small crab and a giant lobster. Ellen and Colin yawn. Elapsed time: 3:07. Shane interviews that the show tunes he's been singing in his head have gotten old. "I'm even out of hymns, for God's sake!" he adds. "I have nothing to do." However, Antoine is amused, as he laughs through his snorkel. Lori interviews that he's making jokes and hitting on the girl judges. "What is the name of the girl?" Antoine asks in a muffled voice, as if he's talking through a kazoo. Lori points out that Antoine is aroused. Too much information. The girl judge replies, "Nice boner!" and everybody laughs. In an effort to kill me, BMP substitutes "boner" with a "BO-OING!" sound effect. Lori interviews that Antoine is happier under water that she's seen him above it. BMP wastes a few seconds to have Colin parody a credit card commercial. Lame.

Shane interviews that he started laughing and water shot into his mask. BMP decides to cut out the real reason he got that way (as recapped by Colin and Lori) and have us think Antoine made him like that. Shane surfaces at 3:21:17. Emily yells support to her boyfriend: "Stay there, Jim! Stay there!" Oh, shut up. Shane feels good to get out of the water and stretch his legs. He notes that he lasted two hours longer than he imagined.