Survivor: The Amazon - Cinderella's Mistakes and the Stepsisters' Quotables

Oh, and let's not forget her famous "It's so hard being beautiful" speech at tribal council. No, those weren't her exact words, but you get the idea. She talked about being attractive as a disadvantage because some people see her as a stupid model. But she's the one who, in the first episode, said she had planned to use her feminine wiles on the guys, something she couldn't do in an all-female tribe. And don't forget how she treated Christy most of the time, not speaking to her for a full six days. If anything, she put herself at a disadvantage with her snotty attitude.

"I've had to work twice as hard to get here." On what, her tan? Wasn't it just last week that she suddenly decided the most physical thing she was going to do was roll over while sunning her bony carcass? And remember, Christy commented that she hadn't seen Jenna do much since the game started. If anything, she had to work half as hard as everyone else once the tribes switched, due to the "drool" factor of guy fawning all over her." Rob had the perfect comeback when he said, "I'm not handsome so I didn't have any handicaps like the girls."

Finally, there's Jenna's most hysterical comment of all, her showstopper, if you will: "I have morals and ethics, and (Rob) has none at all, and I refuse to go along with his crappy plan." Morals and ethics? This must include being lazy, using your body to get what you want, calling someone else a fat pig, threatening to be a pain in the you-know-what because you don't get your way, ostracizing those you deem beneath you, resorting to name-calling when things don't go your way, and stripping for food. Does she not realize Rob is playing a game? If she thinks he has no morals simply because of the way he plays a game, where has she been the last five installments of the show? She's only on her moral high horse now that it looks like she may not be around much longer. I'd be willing to bet that outside of the game, Rob has just as strong morals and ethics as she does.

Heidi had a couple of knee-slappers herself. For example, "I've never felt so manipulated, cheated, and hurt all at the same time." Well, cry me a piranha-infested river! After all, this isn't Heidi's first time to be manipulated. Does anyone else remember how she wrote Jeanne's name down a few tribal councils back? She's simply upset now because she's no longer in the majority.

Then there's her comment that if she had spoken right after tribal council, "Every single cuss word would come out of my mouth." Yeah, I can see it now: "Rob, you #*%. I was planning to be a lazy #*$*%&$# for the last few days of this #*$&% game. How dare you #($*% over someone as beautiful and gorgeous as me, and uh, Jenna too. And as for the rest of you $#$*s, open your $&#*$ eyes. I'm $*#& beautiful. For you to do this to someone as #*$&% as me is a moral #*$(#*$ sin." Yeah, that would've gone over real well with the school board.

What about her comment that she'd never lied to Christy? Uh, maybe that's because you couldn't be bothered to speak to her most of the game, except when you needed her. Her attempts to win Christy over were absolutely pathetic, and more transparent than a fishnet bathing suit.

When she told her mom, "I played good," meaning cleanly, how loudly must Jeanne have laughed while watching the episode? Did Heidi tell her mom about how she bared it all for some food? The sad thing is, she and Jenna honestly think they've played with morals and ethics, but flaunted their power when they were in the majority. If this is playing good, I'd hate to see what she considers dirty.

I will say this for Heidi: She at least realizes it's a game, and Rob is simply playing to win. But when she says she would not have done what he did, she apparently doesn't know about his earlier conversation with Alex. I have a feeling that given the circumstances, she would have done exactly what he did. The key is probably that she and Jenna think he backstabbed just for the sake of backstabbing, when in reality, he knew where he stood and did something about it.

Well, this week, the unglamour twins apparently cannibalize each other, if the previews are to be believed. How ironic is it that despite being the last two females left in the game, one of them is most likely going next week? After all, Butch is their father's age and too smart to fall for their act, Matthew knows how they've acted, and Rob is playing the game. Of course, now that he kept them both here another three days, he's got morals and ethics again. At least we won't have to wait long to see the final outcome, and here's a prediction: If she ends up on the jury, Jenna will deliver the nastiest "snakes and rats" speech of all at final tribal council.

Ken can be reached with any comments, criticisms, or money orders at YourNextOfKen@aol.com.

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