Survivor Psyche, Episode 11: Silenced

Christy, however, has assumed Rob’s classic position – monkey in the middle. She says that Heidi and Jenna are doing a good job of “kissing my ass” but wonders why they weren’t nice to her from the beginning. “Why would I want to give them something if they haven’t done anything in return?” Privately, Christy exults that she “has the power!”

Immunity Challenge: Holding Their Ground

In a spin on previous challenges, the players must shatter their own nameplates in this version of the game. Each player gets 10 marbles and a slingshot to try to gain five pucks. The pucks will be used to play Survivor shuffleboard. Given Matthew’s expertise with spears and machetes, he’s just plain awful with the slingshot. (More die-hard cynics than we are would suggest that Matt might have thrown this challenge!) Jenna and Butch win 5, Heidi wins 4, Christy 3, Rob 2, and Matt just 1.

Jenna is the mistress of the board, playing with smirky competence. No trifling hangover is going to hold back this girl! What might be considered a handicap for most players is familiar territory for sorority girl Jenna. (Note Jenna’s Rush Zeta sweatshirt in this episode.) In the end, she easily knocks Heidi and Rob’s remaining pucks out of range and wins the game.

Jenna’s win has sent Rob’s fragile master manipulator persona into a tailspin. ”My stomach is in knots. I need a bottle of Maalox, a fifth of Vodka, and a pack of cigarettes, cause I don’t know what I’m gonna do right now.” He rigidly stuffs down his freaked-out-ness as he approaches Christy. (Sigh – here’s where it all goes wrong.)

Rob, trembling with angst: “Please tell me you’re still solid and will vote against Heidi!”

Christy, carelessly lounging on the shelter: “Oh, I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it…”

Rob, holding onto his crumbling empire with all his might: “Let’s-take-a-walk-then-Christy…”

Christy, dreaming of her seat at the final two: “When I have pen in hand … that will be my decision.”

”Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!!!!” You can just hear the cogs in Rob’s head spinning in overdrive as he hurtles himself towards backup patsies Heidi and Jenna. “The thought of Christy defecting terrifies me, which got me to really start thinking about an alternate scenario.” Heidi, who is in the same position as when Dave approached her at Tambaqui, quickly succumbs to Rob’s overture. “Let’s just make this really easy on everybody and vote out Christy tonight,” he proposes soothingly. “Can we do that?” Heidi asks vapidly before finally pledging her troth. ”This is really crazy stuff. I can’t believe I’m back in Jenna and Heidi’s good graces,” Rob exults.

Tribal Council: Hearing Adjourned

Probst is up to his usual insightful skewering tonight. He gets everyone to admit that they didn’t think they’d make it this far in the game, then zeroes in on Jenna. Despite being bluntly told that the other players think that she uses her looks as a weapon, that’s she’s helpless, and just plain obnoxious, Jenna deals with it all with an old-fashioned, “they’re just jealous” attitude. “Sometimes people just don’t like you and that’s the only reason they have for voting you out. I’m judged all the time on just outside looks. I don’t think that women take to me very well. You’re a stupid model – you can’t hack it – so I’ve felt like I’ve had to work twice as hard to get here and I think Heidi fells the same.”

Alas, Christy is still feeling the topsy-turvy effects of too much Spongebob-like optimism. “Are you ready for the vote, Christy?” Probst inquires. “I’m Ready! I’m Ready! I’m Ready, Ready, Ready, Ready, Ready!” Even Jenna surrendering her cherished Immunity Necklace to Heidi can’t burst Christy’s bubble. “I’m gonna try and go all the way. I think I am in the driver’s seat – I make the final decision!” Then it’s time to vote and, like previous over-confident players before her, dear Christy finds herself on the wrong side of the torchlight, with Rob, Heidi, Jenna, and Matthew voting for her.

In her exit speech, Christy gives full voice to her feelings of anger and betrayal at the hands of Heidi and Jenna. “I’m gonna make sure that those wicked evil stepsisters of mine are not gonna win the million dollars!” she vows.

Next episode: They’ve taken off everything else, and next week, the gloves come off too, as Heidi and Jenna enjoy an old-fashioned catfight. “Having Jenna out works to my advantage,” Heidi says nonchalantly.

Now let’s look at the players.

Butch: Time to turn off the automatic pilot in your cerebral cortex and take over the controls. Do you ever have an independent thought, ever? You resemble a wedge – the simplest tool in the box. Believe in yourself and be your own man!

Christy: Sob! You were our favorite. Strategically, your game sucked, but you were a good sport and a happy camper all around. Enjoy the amenities at the Lodge (three hots and a cot) and plot your revenge.

Heidi: You have your beloved Jenna to thank for saving your scrawny butt this week. How someone so selfish, stupid, and lazy got this far in the game is beyond us.

Matthew: What the hell are you thinking! You’re still King Theoden, swayed by Grimma Wormtongue’s bile dripping in your ears. Wake up and smell the coffee cause you’re expendable.

Rob: Duck and cover – there’s bound to be fallout from all that sh*t you’ve been slinging. It appears that Matt and Butch are still willing to follow you – for now. Your victims are piling up in the jury box, and they might not be inclined to forgive and forget.

Jenna: Hearing you and Heidi vent about morals and ethics is like hearing Jerry Falwell preach about the corruptibility of the flesh. Or, Anna Nicole blather about good taste and high art. Or, Andrew Dice Clay expound on feminism and equality. What kind of world would we have where you two are considered role models?

Melinda Smith is a technical illustrator and writer with a background in graphic arts. She and her family live in Cincinnati, Ohio. Her sister, Suzanne Tromblay, is a licensed social worker with the State of Ohio. Melinda can be reached at tremme@eudoramail.com.

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