Being Jeff Probstovich – Survivor: The Amazon, Sole Survivor Predictions

Butch Lockley
Challenges Won: 0
Previous Votes: 2
Odds To Win: 10-1

Probstovich: Butch, we learned that silence is golden, and it's a rule that you've followed since the start. So tell me why you deserve to be the Sole Survivor?

Butch: Shhhhhhhhhhh! I'm like a link in a chain. I believe in myself. A guy can get far on passive, self-delusional thinking like that.

The Skinny: Somewhere along the way you have to play the game; Butch, we're still waiting.
Probstovich's Projected Finish: 3rd Place

Rob Cesternino
Challenges Won: 1
Previous Votes: 0
Odds To Win: 4-1

Probstovich: Robasue, you've played the game exactly the way it should be played: you learned to adapt. You are a true student of the game. You lied, you schemed, you lied, you plotted, you lied, you told the truth, you lied. Like I said: you adapted. Bravo. Have you done enough to win it all?

Rob: Unfortunately, Jeff, people overrate these things called 'lies' in the game of Survivor. What is a lie but a truth turned the other way? If I'm wearing a baseball cap and I put it on backwards, does that make it any less of a baseball cap? I, I, I think I deserve to win because I told people what they wanted to hear and then when they got out of earshot, I said what was really on my mind. Also, I, I, I think that with a million dollars I could talk to a lot of really hot chicks and that some of them might even go out with me.

The Skinny: He got into an open argument with Jenna; no one seen in an argument has ever won.
Probstovich's Projected Finish: Runner-Up

Heidi Strobel
Challenges Won: 0
Previous Votes: 0
Odds To Win: 2-1

Probstovich: I know that you feel like you don't deserve to win it all, and you're probably not alone. You looked down your nose at women who were harder-working, who had higher percentages of bodyfat, lower percentages of silicone, and who may have not been as cute as you. You went topless, and bottomless ... for cookies. So, in the end, what have you done to deserve the title of Sole Survivor?

Heidi: Jeff, I'm between a rock and a hard stone. If anyone needs the money, it's probably me. You may not have noticed but, well, they're asymmetrical, and I need to get them fixed. But, honestly, Jeff, I think that this is a game. What we do in this game is not what we do in life. I think that everyone has been a snake in this game, except me. So, like, whatever. I'm totally the lesser of all evils.

The Skinny: Blondes have more fun.
Probstovich's Projected Finish: Winner

You take the low road. I'll take the Heidi road.

Make no mistake, any of the five who remain can win it all. But still, as in all games, there are those who stand a good chance, and those who stand a snowflake's chance in hell. Of course, in some visions of hell, there are deep walls of ice. It is anyone's game.

Get your popcorn and your favorite drink, grab the remote and get comfortable in front of the television set. The rollercoaster ride to the finale of Survivor: The Amazon is sure to be an entertaining treat.

I'll be back after it's all said and done to recap the finale and to hand out the season-ending awards.

I'm being Jeff Probstovich, and my fifteen minutes are up.

Lawrence AG Green has been a die-hard fan of Survivor since Pagong started charbroiling island rats on Pulau Tiga. He works as a professional web developer for the company that allegedly hired Survivor: Africa winner Ethan Zohn and then subsequently let the erstwhile soccer star go before he ever started. Lawrence AG can be reached at boycaught@lagtime.com.

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