Surviving the Amazon, Episode 12: Burning Down the House!

We begin the second-to-last episode with Jenna complaining. She has pharyngitis - or tonsillitis or something. She's tired of playing the game, tired of living with people you can't trust.

Still, the women both agree that things changed because of the previous night - they don't feel half as betrayed. If it weren't for Rob, one of them wouldn't be there. (Of course, if it weren't for Rob to begin with, both of them would still be there along with Alex, but hey, let's not get picky.)

Rob says he feels no animosity from them - they're grateful. So he decides to do something different than he has the entire time he's been there: He's completely honest with them. He goes so far as to tell them straight-out that he will probably vote for Heidi at the next Tribal Council. He says he thought about flip-flopping to take the two of them with him, but it would mean screwing over everybody in the game and looking like the biggest @$$#ole ever. Heidi wonders why he cares about that now. Heh.

After he leaves, Heidi and Jenna discuss that they have three days to formulate a new plan.

From there, we enter into a segment about firewood. Butch and Rob carry firewood, with Butch telling Rob to get firewood even though they have plenty. Rob doesn't know what Butch's obsession with firewood is or how he became the "Junior Deputy firewood bitch." He says the last thing he wants is to be a team with butch. Jenna notes that they have so much - it's under the shelter, by the fire, etc. Yes, this segment goes on and on and on. Butch: "I'm just a wood crazy nut, I guess." To prove the "crazy nut" part, he dances around for no apparent reason. He says his wife says he embarrasses her when he dances. I can see why. Oy.

Most people have seen the previews, so we all know that this whole segment was massive foreshadowing.

Next up is treemail, which says to succeed in the future, you must learn from past. The coolest reward is also the last. Ah, yes, the challenge that incorporates parts of previous ones. It's that time of the game. Before they leave, Butch puts on some more firewood.

Indeed, this challenge does revisit challenges of the past - but it also gives a sneak peek of a challenge in the future. First they have to untie knots to get out of a cage; next is a puzzle; then a rope swing - that's the one they haven't done but will in the future - on to a decoding station to figure out a message that will lead them to a key; take the key, climb a ladder, unlock the flying fox and glide down (that's the thing that Heidi swung down on in the first challenge to win it for the women). At the bottom, grab a key - to a Saturn Ion. The winner, in addition to the Ion, gets a tailgate party with burgers, hot dogs, chicken, and more.

And they're off! Matthew seems to be ahead but Butch is out of the cage first and to the puzzle. Matthew is right behind him. Then Rob. Then Jenna. Butch looks stumped. Rob finishes the puzzle first and heads to the rope swing and then the decoding station. Matthew finishes the puzzle. Butch… doesn't. But, hey, Heidi is still in the cage. OK, Butch finally finishes and then has some trouble with the rope swing.

Matthew is the first to decode the answer, "Second Bundle," and grabs the key. Up the ladder he goes and unlocks the flying fox. He glides down it and easily wins. Rob is still at the decoder. Heidi - well, she's still in the cage.

Matt jumps in the car and invites everybody in to share the air conditioning. He asks host Jeff Probst if he can share the tailgate with everybody. Sorry, no. Just pick one person. Matt tells the others that he made a deal before the challenge with Rob, so Rob it is.

Matt talks about how cool the car is and Rob wants to borrow it when Matt's out of town or he goes back to his home planet or whatever. Matt says sure, he can use it to cruise for chicks. Ah, some things never change.

Matt lights up the hibachi with charcoal and says Butch will be so jealous.

Now we come to some great editing. Eerie drums sound as we see the deserted camp while the five are still at the challenge. We see the fire. Then the fire spreads to the fire shelter. From the fire shelter it jumps to the surrounding area. This is a BIG honking fire! Cut to the hibachi. Like I said, nice editing. Matt and Rob are making hot dogs.

Back at camp, everything is burning. Butch's banner catches. The clothes that are hanging catch. Everything. Cut to Rob and Matt having fun and cooking up a huge dinner.

At camp, the fire continues to rage. The shelters are gone. Even the Magic 8-Ball is melted. Nobody will ever "ask again later."

As Butch, Heidi, and Jenna return, the camp is a smoldering wreck. Shoes are melted. The fire is still barely burning. The general reaction is one of "Oh my God." One of the women says, "all my stuff." Butch replies, "All our stuff." Yes, even after a fire, they are thinking only of themselves and Butch is thinking about everybody. Butch then pretty well states the obvious in saying that everything is gone. He surmises the wood we had must have caught on fire. C.S.I. has nothing on Butch. Jenna talks about her jacket, her letters, he clothes - all gone. Heidi's stuff is mostly intact, though. Hmm. I bet Grissom might have a few questions for her if this show were on an hour later.

Privately, Jenna says they always leave the fire burning so they don't know what happened this time. Heidi's pack was the only survivor. Jenna says she had stuff in her pack that can't be replaced, like her pledge crown and zeta jacket. I have to admit, I'd be upset if I lost stuff that was "irreplaceable." But on the other hand, it's a pledge crown and zeta jacket. Puh-lease.