The Anna Nicole Show, Season 2, Episode 10: Stripped of Dignity

Here we are, almost finished with the final (thank goodness) season of The Anna Nicole Show. Looks like it will not be renewed for next year, which would be a very thoughtful choice for the E! network. This show was a bad idea to begin with, and was made nearly unbearable to watch with pre-scripted acting this season. However, this particular episode didn’t seem quite as bad as usual regarding the scripted feel. But this is where the positive comments ends.

Being a fairly unscripted episode didn’t have much to do with the fact that this one is by far the worst episode ever. This turns out to be an awful half-hour, which shows ANS at her worst. Hard to imagine the quality of this show getting any lower – the producers/editors of this show are digging around the bottom of the barrel for material in which to compose/compile this episode (which focuses on bottom-feeders to begin with). This review will probably be a bit short, for there really isn’t much to talk about. It is a nauseating 30 minutes. Interestingly, Howard actually comes across as somewhat sensible and a bit likeable this time. Kimmie, per usual, is the only sympathetic character in this swamp. Again, she stands out – leaving the audience to wonder why on Earth she’s with these people.

We first see ANS donning a denim Hustler jacket, telling the audience that the weekend is normally a time of rest for working women. ANS, however, must continue to “work” this weekend. Interesting. What constitutes work for ANS, especially work that would force ANS give up her few days of rest and relaxation? The tough job awaiting ANS and her crew is to judge some kind of Himbo beefcake body builder stripping competition.

This is the connection with the “joke” at the beginning of the show. ANS is lying on her bed, using constant profanity to tell us (besides the obvious fact that she cannot speak a full sentence without at least two expletives the entire episode) how bodybuilders wouldn’t give her the time of day if it wasn’t for this contest. What contest? See, when she complains to the camera, this is before we know that she is to judge a male beauty pageant. So the joke is confusing and makes no sense. The tone, as usual, is so negative, irritating, and crude that it has a nauseating effect on the audience. It’s no surprise that the entire episode continues in this same vein.

AmericanGuy.com is sponsoring some kind of male model freak show and ANS is the perfect person to officiate. AmericanGuy.com sends ANS, Howard, and Kimmie to Palm Springs in a stretch limousine. They are complaining the entire trip. As soon as ANS sees the “shabby” hotel, she gets very angry. It looks “cheap, tacky, and low-taste.” It seems perfectly appropriate for ANS, however. Someone mentions (possibly Kimmie) that it’s $6,000 a night (I’d think $600 would be more realistic) and the group is completely shocked that this motel is that expensive. They get inside, and the room is a bit small, but clean. ANS is still upset about the room and tells the camera that the sponsors better make it up to her with dinner and drinks. We know that this sets us up for the dinner from Hell! Surprise, surprise!

Next we see ANS and friends at poolside getting drinks. ANS looks like she’s about to puke, but manages to get the “horrible” drink down in two gulps. A bit over the top – a clown couldn’t pantomime fake-disgust as much as ANS does here.

Next, the server puts the food down on the table. ANS complains about how bad the food looks, “It looks like dried doo-doo,” and then she tries a taste. She literally spits the food out, claiming that there are onions in her enchiladas. ANS now proceeds to make a scene, yelling about being allergic to onions. The server takes the food away, and ANS screams in a voiceover that ONIONS CAN MAKE HER DIE! At this time, I want to throw onions at the TV and hope that someone will slip some whole onions in her next meal. Perhaps she could have a “bloomin’ onion” for a snack. ANS ingesting an onion would be doing the world a favor.

The next scene is pretty funny, for she gets her new order of cheese enchiladas WITH onions!! ANS is so angry at this point that she is in a frenzy. I wonder if the cook put the onions in her food on purpose. I could see the temptation. Most probably, though, the entire scene is a set-up. If the scene weres genuine, the cook probably would have done better and gained favor in ANS’s eyes if he/she would have simply fried up some hot spam and served it on Wonder Bread. This I’m sure would be more to ANS’s taste.