Hot & Bothered: The RW/RR Challenge Battle of the Sexes Reunion

Before we start, I have a bone to pick with MTV. How come this special only got a half hour? The reunion for Extreme Challenge got an hour, as did Battle of the Seasons. Real World: Las Vegas? One hour. That's right… the most tedious, uninteresting season in the show's history, and they got a full hour. Meanwhile, there are a ton of questions to be answered and revelations to be exposed, but only a fraction of them were shown. For instance, Ellen is now engaged. Yes, Ellen Cho, athlete and screechy pain in the rear, is getting married. But that wasn't shown on the reunion.

While I'm at it, I should bring up the Road Rules marathons. Status quo dictates that for a new season, MTV runs old episodes. Even though half of the seasons are in syndication, I saw at least three installments that were to be run this weekend. At I write this, MTV is showing one and only one season: Campus Crawl, the most embarrassing season in the show's history. Yes, I think everything went downhill after Australia, but I would have liked to see some of that once more. But no, MTV has a need to dump some episodes of Punk'd on Saturday night, so who cares if I want to see James and Theo have fun in unnatural ways? Worse, they keep pimping the premiere for South Pacific this Monday, which is a load of bull. Monday is the preview special; May 26 is the start of the twelfth season.

I guess I'm ticked that I didn't attempt to attend the reunion. For some reason, I thought they'd squeeze in all 36 participants. That shows what a dummy I am. Surprisingly, Puck wasn't there, so there goes most of my bile. The only ones there who make my blood pressure rise were Ellen and Colin. Worse, Melissa had mentioned on her site that some of the contestants had gotten together with former Road Rules cast members, and I interviewed one of them a while back. I hadn't met this person, and I wanted to see her up-close. I'm not a stalker or a hanger-on. I just wanted to see some cool people. And maybe have Veronica tell me what she would have said to Emily if given the chance.

Highlights. Colin: "You get 36 of these people in the same room, and something's ready to explode." Eric Nies dives into the pool naked. Syrus thinks the guys are going to kick the girls' butts. Dan: "All eighteen of us were beat by Amaya and Melissa." That's a favorite line. The girls scream and celebrate their surprise win. Of course, MTV hates me as much as BMP, so they show Melissa going verbal medieval on Julie. David E. is still bitching about Puck spitting on his face. James tears the clothesline. Rachel calls the Inner Circle ugly. Puck disses Ellen while his son is strapped to him. More highlights. Laterrian: "It's not the battle. It's the war." Poor LT. Julie and Beth got prizes, and he didn't. Ellen: "He just told me he's gonna kick my ass!" Anne disrespects Ayanna. I still hate Anne.

After the title sequence, we get to MTV Studios and a studio audience. Hey, it's Jonny Moseley! I thought they'd assign some no-name VJ to hold reign. He introduces the "toughest of the tough": Genesis, Ellen, Blair, Melissa, Lori, Mark, Shane, Antoine, Veronica, Colin, Ruthie, and Jamie. Some notes: Lori's hair is straight and short, which works for her. No more comparisons to Catherine Zeta-Jones. In a show of friendship, Colin and Ruthie wear caps with each other's names graffitied on them (see photo at the top of this article). Weird thing is, the "h" in "Ruthie" is upside-down, so it's "Rutyie." The good news is that Jamie finally shaved. The bad news? His hair is long, and it doesn't look right. There could be an upside: if Smallville ever needed a young Lionel Luthor for a flashback scene, Jamie's got it cold.

Jonny asks the guests about their wildest experiences. Mark chimes in, talking about how the guys stole the big chili. Cut to blue-tinted flashback. Sure enough, Puck, Mark, and Eric are carrying a huge prop chili. "Pepper's on the move," Eric says with authority. One of the girls asks where they're taking it. Hey, it's Beth! I haven't wasted a brain cell on her in a long time! Mark tells her that it's going to their Villa. Back in the present, Mark calls it a male-bonding moment. Antoine brings up the naked water skiing. Blue-tint. There's Antoine, happy face over his equipment, water skiing.

Jonny asks the ladies the about wild times. Veronica asks if they had any. Ruthie responds, "You were in the boy's villa most of the time!" The audience laughs. Melissa admits to "kickin' it" with Jamie, Mark, Colin, and Shane. "I like you ladies," Melissa adds, "but [bleep], that house was crazy."

Not content with the answers, Jonny decides to jog the memories. Cue the flashbacks. Eric dives into the pool, again. Jake wears the man-thong during Dead Man's Drop. The girls struggle with Tree House, and Jisela wants to hurt Jonny. Betty talks about how she and Puck were going to get married in October, but he wanted to do it in Jamaica. The guys wear tropical formalwear, and Jake is wearing that damn thong AGAIN. Dan keeps panning his camera from Ruthie to Blair: "Beautiful, Blair. Beautiful, Blair." Melissa interviews about how she doesn't think the girls should go to the wedding after he abused Ellen. Lori interviews about Antoine flirting with the female judge during Human Aquarium. Veronica and Lori strip during Battle of the Opposite Sexes. Christina: "I think all of us are here because our parents probably didn't pay enough attention to us." Jake rides his new bike while naked.

The audience applauds. Yay, Jake's naked bits! Jonny asks about hook-ups. Everybody demurs. "C'mon, Veronica," Jonny presses, "who were you macking down on?" The crowd goes nuts. Colin keeps repeating, "Oh no he didn't!" Shut up, Colin. Jonny asks her about Eric. "Who wouldn't want to make out with Eric Nies?" she asks. "You have to get it out of your system, and once it's done, it's over." Poor Eric. She goes on about how he brought her "the juices," and Colin tries to turn it into a euphemism. Blair mentions he hooked up with himself. I didn't need to know that. Jonny goes after Colin and Melissa, but they both deny it. Antoine talks about how he kept trying to hook up with Genesis on a regular basis. She adds that he tried to show his penis, and she keeps telling him she's a lesbian. He responds, "Do you want to tell me more after the show?" She playfully smacks him. No one remembered David and Ayanna? That's sad.

Jonny asks what missions they liked the best. Of course, Ruthie brings up Maximum Velocity. Cut to pink-tinted flashback: Ruthie stops on a dime while sliding down the rope. Ruthie admits she almost cried while watching that. Lori admits she did cry. Melissa: "I cried in my car! Big ups!"