Survivor: The Amazon - Great Season, Horrible Ending, and Light at the End of the Tunnel

Note to the Reader: Rachel is a real person, and the conversations referred actually did occur, albeit in instant message or emails. Imagine that I'm talking to her in person, telling her my thoughts on the article, with brief allusions to comments she has made to me.

Hi Rachel!

First of all, let me apologize for the lateness of this article. From the moment you saw me online after Jenna won, you've been on me to get this done. If I remember correctly, you told me when the votes were read, your first thought was how much it had to be killing me that Jenna won, and boy were you ever right. When Jeff Probst read that fourth vote, that huge clanging sound you heard was the sound of my jaw hitting the ground. I don't think I've been this disgusted with a tribal council vote, final or otherwise, since Gretchen was ousted way back in season one.

As you know, I always like to ask loads of questions after each episode. But when, uh, what's-her-name was announced as the winner, I only had one: WHY? Okay, I also wanted to know what there was that Marky Mark Burnett wasn't showing us. This may be the biggest Survivor mystery since Erin's ouster from Thailand. Uh, what's that Rachel? Well, I hope you're right, and this DOES make you fall off the edge of your seat.

My guess is that the jury, when voting, cast their votes FOR Jenna, as opposed to against Matthew. He may have been a little crazy at times, but overall, he wasn't that unlikable. And we know he wasn't even all that scheming, at least until the end. But I'll give Jenna her props - uh, Rachel, let me make something clear: This is not Big Brother 3, you're not Julie Chen, and I'm not Marcellas, so please stop hitting me with that clipboard.

Anyway, you're right, backpedaling doesn't fit me, but let me tell you why I'm giving Jenna her props. Have you ever known someone in school or the workplace who just had it in for you? No matter what you did, it wasn't good enough, or even right. For example, there was a guy I knew in college who was always trying to one-up me. If he got a better grade than I did in a certain class, it's because he was smarter. If I did better, it was because "nerds always do well."

The point is, I couldn't win. I came to realize that's how I was with Heidi and Jenna, a.k.a. the "Skeletwins." I tuned in every week ready to bash them to the high heavens. But the fact is Heidi did win-uh, what's that, Rachel? Oops, sorry, I meant to say Jenna. Maybe you're right, and I have inter-mingled my hatred for the "Skeletwins." Anyway, Jenna did win, and does deserve to be congratulated. Oh boy, Rachel, I can hear some of your quotes now: "Ken, I didn't want her to win, just not as much as YOU didn't want her to win," and, "Ken, you really hated her. I just didn't think she deserved to win," and of course, "Keep the hate brother. You've got an article to write."

At the risk of disappointing you, I'm going to point out that as detestable as I found Jenna at times, she WAS perceptive enough to realize she was on the chopping block, and found the inner-resources to do something about it. When she won the final four immunity, she must've have given it all she had. And from that point on, it was kinda pathetic, and a little bit amusing, to see the three guys try to bargain with her.

Let me digress a second and talk about Butch, since he went in her place. It didn't take the Magic 8-Ball to see he was in trouble once she won. Specifically, no one wanted to go against him. Say what you will about the Hunka Hunka Burnin' Firewood near the end, or the crazy dancing which he admitted embarrasses his wife. The fact is, he kept his mouth shut most of the time. I don't know if it was strategy so much as not wanting to say something he'd regret once he had to face his students again.

Rachel, when you think about it, there's kind of an irony to Butch: His very name is associated with bullying, dating at least as far back as the "Little Rascals." Remember how the character of the same name was always threatening to make alfalfa out of Alfalfa? But in the Amazon, it was Butch himself who seemed afraid, most likely of facing his wife, the school board, and kids. But throughout the series, he was rather likable, if somewhat passive. So likable, in fact, that getting rid of him was good strategy on the part of the other three.

Now let's take a look at the final immunity. Jenna's still in. Hopefully she won't pull it off again. Well, Matthew says that whoever wins will take him along, so he'll probably throw it, and guess what? He's right. I'm pretty sure he could've won that last immunity easily if he wanted to, but he at least made it look good, unlike Richard Hatch, who unceremoniously took his hands off the idol. Of course, Rich ended up winning.