Survivor: The Amazon - Great Season, Horrible Ending, and Light at the End of the Tunnel

Unlike Matthew, Rob didn't have the luxury of throwing this final challenge. He knew Matthew would probably take him, but he didn't know about Jenna, so he gave his all. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough, and like the monster in mythology (whose name I can't recall) that just won't die (Medusa maybe?), Jenna remains in the game. As the editor of this site has pointed out previously, being a model probably helped Jenna here, because she's probably used to standing in one place for long periods of time, and not always in the most comfortable of positions (note to the editor: please forgive my sloppy paraphrase).

Rachel, I know you're recovering from an ulcer, and I hope I don't give you another one here, but I don't begrudge Jenna this final immunity win. Yes, I wish she were gone, but the fact is, she ::::choke gasp cough::::: earned it. Let's face it: Each challenge plays to someone's strengths and someone else's weaknesses. In hindsight, the men should've rid themselves of her when they had the chance and kept Heidi, although it's not clear they would've fared any better against her, since she appeared to be the stronger of the two. Then again, who knew?

Okay, now it's time for the final three vote. When Jenna mumbled something about wanting to go against good competition, and not wanting to go against someone she could beat, my first thought was, "What a moron! Did she not learn from Colby's mistake in the Outback?" But it turns out this was similar to one of those answers she's used to giving at pageants: Specifically, she was telling the judges what she thought they wanted to hear. She even admitted later that Rob would've kicked her butt in the final two. While that part of it isn't certain, it certainly wouldn't have been the landslide it was.

Are you still with me, Rachel? Okay, good. Time for the final tribal council. Finally, Jenna will hopefully get hers from assorted members of the jury. I was so sure she was going to be IN the jury, and so sure she'd deliver a "snakes and rats" speech that would make Susan Hawk look like Mother Theresa. Once that didn't happen, I fully expected her to be getting one herself, probably from Christy. The only question I had was, "How bad is Matthew going to smoke her?" Now you know why I don't spend much time at the race track: I'm terrible at making predictions.

Before the final tribal council begins, we get treated to the thoughts of the jurors on the final two. Rob has had some of the funniest lines of the series, but this time, he comes off looking like a sore loser when he tells the camera it's too bad there's no "choice C." Don't get me wrong, Rachel. I think it's a shame anyone other than Rob won, and think he played the game better than the rest of the cast put together. But given how many people he screwed over that were now in the jury, how many of them would've felt that way towards him? Maybe it was editing, maybe it was out-of-sequence shots, but it seemed like a couple of the jury members smiled when Rob joined their ranks.

Then there was Deena's observation that Matt worked his way to the top, while Jenna, uh, played her way to the top. It made sense at the time, but seems silly in light of how she cast her vote.

And of course, Heidi isn't done amusing us either. She proclaims that Jenna is her hero, and the word that comes to mind is, "pathetic." Surely Eldon can't be THAT secluded of a town.

Let's not forget everyone's favorite rocket scientist, Dave, who claims he wants intelligent answers to his question, and we'll see if the two finalists start talking out of their ass again. Just remember that when it's his turn to speak at final TC.

Now the jury files in and prepares to have their say. Jenna, in her opening statement, says she played the game morally, and that means a lot to her. Excuse me while I pull out Morasca's Abridged Dictionary and look up morally: "Stripping for food, acting like you're the center of the universe, flaunting your alliance when you're in the majority, pouting like a spoiled child when you're in the minority, shunning someone with a disability, and being completely full of yourself."

Yes, Jenna is just in her early 20s. However, Kelly Wigglesworth, Kelly Goldsmith, Elisabeth Filarski, and Colleen Haskell were all a comparable age when they appeared on the show, and none of them acted nearly as badly as Jenna did, so I refuse to believe anyone who tells me her immaturity is due to her youth. Both she and Heidi should know better.

They remind me of my college days, when there was a women's social service club (we didn't have fraternities or sororities) on campus known as Theta Theta Theta, or Tri-Theta. They had a reputation of being completely snotty and walking around with their noses in the air, and as far as I know, this reputation continues today, 16 years after my graduation ceremony. I'm forever convinced that if Jenna and Heidi had gone to my college, they would've been hard-core Thetas. They also probably would've been kicked out for stripping once the show aired, but that's a different story.