America’s Next Top Model, Episode 6: The Princess and the Air Mattress

Week 6’s episode starts with the women “reeling” from Giselle’s expulsion the previous week. OK, so the only acknowledgement that Giselle was ever even living with the wannabe models is Adrianne’s comment that when Giselle wasn’t annoying her, she was really pretty great. In summary, Giselle was never “really pretty great.” Adrianne sure knows how to dish out the compliments, doesn’t she?

We are next introduced to the head of the women’s division at Wilhelmina Models: a large bald man named Pink. Yes, you read that correctly. I’m not sure how many times I actually backed the TiVo up just to make sure I got that right, but there is a man out there who actually chose to call himself Pink. You know what really gets me? I understand that the majority of folks involved in the design of clothing, etc. are very artistic and not your everyday average Joe (read: “boring”) people. But how do you keep a straight face when a sizeable bald man introduces himself as Pink? Or when a black man in nothing but a t-shirt and heels comes out and tells you he is going to teach you how to walk on a catwalk? (And these aren’t just random nuts running around claiming to be in the fashion business; these are very well respected people in the industry!) Is it just me, or does anyone else think it would be hard to not start giggling uncontrollably when a man tells you his name is Pink?

Anyway, Pink (is that Mr. Pink, if you’re nasty?) advises the women on their portfolios and explains how to approach a go-see. (He tells Elyse he could book her on the snake photo alone. I love this Master Pink guy. He obviously knows what’s going on.) Then he drops the bomb that they are all going to Paris. I thought Shannon’s entire face was just going to peel right off her head - starting with her mouth, of course. Adrianne starts to cry, she’s so excited; she then says she’s never been anywhere outside of the United States.

I have to say that Adrianne is really starting to grow on me. Initially, I was rooting for Elyse and thought Adrianne’s behavior was just plain strange. Now, I am slowly starting to believe Adrianne could win this thing (even with that speech impediment). When I started writing my first recap for this show I went back and looked at all the wannabe models’ photos (my in-depth “research”) and realized that Adrianne photographs really well. (Obviously she is pretty and photographs well, or else she wouldn’t be on this show.) Maybe the fashion experts on this show and all their fashion knowledge are having a positive effect on me? Maybe I’ll grab a T-shirt, some 7” heels, and start calling myself Mistinguette. Or maybe not.

Master P concludes his meetings with the ladies by telling them, "The one thing you have to remember when going to Paris is that the intelligent model traveler packs one bag."

Cut to Robin literally shoveling every conceivable item (I think I saw a frying pan) she possibly can into her suitcase. God, I love this editing team! They may as well have scrolled the words “This woman is not intelligent” along the bottom of the TV screen. Heh.

This is where I realize Robin has a wheelbarrow full of cash somewhere. For some reason this fact eluded me until now. The woman is rolling in dough. (Methinks it is probably daddy’s dough, considering she lists her profession as a day care assistant.) I might be way off base here, but I am thinking keeping mommy and daddy happy with her behavior (or should I say “performance”) might have a lot to do with how much of an allowance she gets. But that is a story for Episode Seven.

So the models leave the Flatotel for Paris. Oh yeah - and Shannon whines about not having a boyfriend. Maybe because all the men are afraid that if they kissed you, your jaw would detach and you would swallow them whole with that gigantic mouth of yours? Just a thought.

They get to Paris and the taxi ride is funny. Adrianne declares Paris to be the most beautiful city in the world. She acknowledges that she used to think New York was the most beautiful city in the world because she had never been there before this program. Now it is Paris. Hey, Adrianne, you should check out Detroit. No threat to New York or Paris there.

The wannabe models are expecting to stay at some gorgeous fancy Ritz Carlton or something (why? Because they have been “working” so hard?); instead, they are dropped off by the taxi in front of a very quaint, understated hotel. This obviously chaps Robin’s hide (she has no problem letting her disappointment show, in front of the hotel owner no less); if she only knew what was coming next… Horror of horrors, they have to carry their own bags! Up three flights of stairs with no elevator, no less! Hey, Robin! Maybe if you had spent a little less time complaining and a little more time working out during your gym sessions, you would be able to haul that monstrous bag up three flights of stairs. Then again, I don’t think even AH-NOLD could carry that bag up three flights of stairs.

Robin finally makes it up the stairs to the ONE room that they have to – GASP - share! And worse yet, there are ONLY THREE BEDS! And just when you thought the dreadfulness couldn’t get any worse: ONLY ONE BATHROOM!!!

I am surprised Robin didn’t just throw herself out the window.

Instead, she starts throwing her many personal items on a bed in an attempt to claim one of the three beds for herself. Elyse insists that they draw straws in order to determine (fairly) who gets a bed and who’s forced to sleep on an air mattress on the floor. As luck would have it, Robin draws the short straw and is relegated to the floor. Maybe she didn’t pray hard enough that morning. Who knows? All I can say is it is rather reflective of what people think about you when they all privately find it hysterical that you have to sleep on the floor. And Robin, making such an effort to put on a brave face, states later, “I’m not so special that I can’t sleep on the air mattress.” Really? You’re not? Since when? Which personality is this talking? (It is difficult to believe that Robin actually believes what she is saying when she’s making a face like she just bit into an incredibly sour lemon while she is saying it.)