Anything for Love, Episode 7: Good Genes, Bad Scenes, and High School Dreams

Another Monday, another episode of Anything for Love. I wonder if anyone reads these recaps? No one writes to me about this show, so I have to assume that the people who watch this either don’t read or are only watching because someone they know has made a fool of themselves on the show. The only good thing is that it’s only a half hour and actually, they do manage to pack a lot into thirty minutes. I have to admit that last week’s segment with the horse caught me off guard and seriously amused me for days!

Anyway, after a quick hello from hosts Mark Walberg and Claudia DiFolco, we get right to the first couple, Natalie and Collier. They met a year and a half ago when she was on vacation in L.A. and had a little fling. But after she went home to Louisiana, the relationship died a natural death. We meet Collier, who tells us that he would really like to get back together and try to build a relationship. Natalie wants to get together with him again too but her motives are not quite as noble. Her biological clock is ticking and she wants to have a baby. She thinks that Collier would make the perfect father for her child because he has “good genes.” But that’s all she wants out of him: his DNA. OK. She calls and he is really happy to hear from her. He admits that he has been thinking about her a lot and thinks that she wants to rekindle the romance. Look out, Collier; all she wants is a “donation.”

They meet for dinner and things seem to be going nicely. He is ten years younger than she is and quite the hunk. He leans across the table, looks into her eyes, and tells her sincerely that he has thought a lot about their time together and wants to try and build a relationship. She says she has a better idea and suggests that they get a room. Before he knows what hit him, she blindfolds him and leads him up to the room. He has no clue what is about to happen. The room is full of stuffed animals, rattles, baby dolls and a huge baby bottle. Ewwww. Natalie removes the blindfold and Collier totally freaks out. It is then that she tells him her plan and sorry, he’s not having it. She is serious about this and tells him that she doesn’t want him to be part of the baby’s life. He is very disappointed, and says he’s sorry, but no way. They hug and she tells the audience that she hurts! He says the only way he would do this would be if they were married and building a life together. He is definitely shaken and disappointed. Once he leaves she starts to pout. Oh boo hoo. She is a total idiot. This guy is an absolute doll and has scruples to boot. I want to slap her. Foolish woman.

Next, we meet Luke and Helena. They have been together for about seven years, and he tells us that their relationship has been a roller coaster ride. She has been unfaithful to him repeatedly and he says they break up once a year. This year at Christmas, she called and talked about marriage. Once again, she wheedled her way back into his heart, and he gave her a promise ring. Still, he doesn’t trust her, and enlists the aid of Anything for Love to test her fidelity. Helena is told that she is doing a photo shoot, and predictably, the photographer is a handsome, buff looking actor (they did this once before). They are in a gym and she’s in her little workout clothes posing with weights. She seems to be doing OK at first but when the guy leaves the room, she starts going “Oh wow” and fanning herself. She obviously thinks the guy is hot and when he returns, he mentions dinner and she jumps at the invitation. She never mentions that she has a boyfriend, and poor Luke is watching as she gives her phone number to Mr. Beefaroni. Luke comes out and Helena is stunned. Gotcha! She plays dumb and starts in with the lower lip quiver. But her eyes - phew, she could bore holes through him with those eyes. He tells her it is all BS and that she has hurt him for the last time. He tearfully says goodbye and she actually looks sorry. Helena talks to Claudia and tries to defend her actions. Helena cries as she says that she hasn’t cheated on him in a long time and that she really wants to marry him. She continues to cry, but Luke seems to have suddenly developed a spine and knows that he has to walk away from the relationship. But before finishing up the segment, Claudia tells us that they plan to go to couples counseling, so maybe there is a chance for them yet. Hey, friends and family of Luke – if you watched him on the show and happen to be reading this – please, make him watch this tape repeatedly until he comes to his senses. Call it an intervention or something, but don’t let him go through this again!

You know what amazes me? So far tonight we have met two nice-looking, seemingly decent young men who want serious, committed relationships. Women are always complaining that they can’t find a nice guy, but these two have each found a man who wants a future with them and they treat them like crap. Pathetic. I am sure either one of these guys could do better.

The last segment tonight is kinda sweet (Oh God, am I starting to like this show??? Snap out of it!) Brian was Roxanne’s high school sweetheart. She tells us that it was love and for eighteen years she hasn’t been able to get him out of her mind. But Anything for Love comes to the rescue and has flown Brian to L.A. He has no idea what is going on and they bring him onstage while Roxanne is hidden in the front row of the audience. Mark tells him there is someone in the audience who still loves him and then she appears on the big screen, talking about their high school romance. They did everything together and she loved him with all her heart. But once they went off to college, he met someone else, got engaged, and broke up with her. She was devastated. Meanwhile, Brian seems moved as she talks about how she did a little research and was finally able to email him and found out that he is no longer married. He seems excited and then he turns as she walks out of the audience. His face gives it all away. They hug and the audience awwwwwwwws (so do I – I’m a sucker for this stuff!). They go to commercial promising to reveal whether or not Brian is interested in picking up where they left off.

Back from the commercial, Mark asks Brian how he thinks Roxanne looks and he beams. “Beautiful,” he says, and admits that he thinks about her “pretty much every day.” Roxanne is nervous and tells him that she has always loved him and that no one she has met since can come close to him. Emotion runs high. There are tears in their eyes as they gaze sweetly at one another. She asks him whether he wants to start over and he answers, “Let’s.” They kiss and the audience oooohs and ahhhhs and that’s it! Nice.

Once again, we are spared a second episode tonight. Seems as though Stupid Behavior Caught on Tape has moved into the 8:30 time slot and actually, is rather funny. But, alas, it is not a reality show! Too bad.

Donna Reynolds is a freelance writer and technical writer from Syracuse, NY. You can e-mail her at dlrturtle@earthlink.net.

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