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Big Brother's Full Moon Meltdownby O'Sean Aieghlans -- 07/15/2003
View Printable version of this article The monsters came out at night by the light of the full moon in the CBS parking lot. It was a full moon that witnessed the meltdown of the Big Brother house on Saturday night. Scott earlier in the day was seen sitting forlornly and silently only to get up and pace back and forth, then to sit and stew again. This continued until kitchen chairs were airborne. Oh yes, they were just cheap plastic. They deserved to be thrown. But who could have foretold the hysteria provoked by flying plastic furniture? Some girls, first laughing when the first chair took off, soon declared themselves threatened. And Scott was out. PC, and all that, you know, hush hush and nudge nudge, know what I mean? Cops and psyche ward nurses insist that the full moon brings out the worst in humankind ... emergency rooms fill up with strangely injured accident cases, city jails burst at the seams with drunken frat boys and spontaneous girly prostitutes – and even oceanside, the shipboard brig is soon bursting full with rowdy sailor-pirates under the light of the full moon, despite the daily allotted ounce of rum. What gives? Well, isn't this what the producers of Big Brother wanted? Increase the pressure so much that they get all dramatic and shit? Yes, it is EXACTLY what they wanted. They don't care about people's feelings, after all, they just want a good show. Now Scott is probably in the nut house. It's true, the producers may not have wanted the innocent Big Brother fans to see Alison and Michelle sobbing their hearts out at the very thought that they might catch genital warts, sobbing on hands and knees while scrubbing the toilet rim and spraying disinfectant. Yes, it's true, too: poor Alison boo-hooed her way through a complete chlorine bleach cleaning of the toilet, while throwing up at the same time. Michelle joined in like a little sister who pukes at the sight of an upchucking sibling. Scraping, spraying, scrubbing, wheezing .... they just may all be scarred for life, all because Scott said he had a problem with warts. Okay, let's step back. Let's take a deep breath. Just what DID happen? Simply put, it was merely the outcome of what has now become known as producer Alison Grodner's idea of 'fun'. "Let's put some houseguests together with old boyfriends and girlfriends and stuff like that." How did this come about? Well, some may not know that the houseguests are required to fill out extensive questionnaires about their lives. They are required to list ALL the people they currently know, have known, or ever knew. Why? Well, in case they are ever mentioned, these houseguests are required to get releases from these people. If the person refuses to be discussed on the live internet cameras, then the live cams are switched to a blank scene, like the front of the house, when this person's name comes up in conversation, to protect the producers from litigious incidents. Little did the houseguests know that this totally open book information would allow the producers to stick their fingers into their lives and torture them. This is how it came about. In the process of obtaining releases, the Big Brother producers realized that they could ask these 'ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends' to come on the show. So here we find ourselves, along with a gentleman like Scott, an admitted Chicago waiter and cool guy, locked together in a house with someone who dumped us. Fun, isn't it? Scott couldn't help himself, but faced with his ex, he had to re-hash things. He had to go over it all, once again, in his mind, and verbally with his ex, too. Who could blame him? In fact, he still likes Amanda. He would still like to be with her ... so under these conditions, wouldn't she like to be together again too? We've all been there. We've all heard it before. We all know it hurts. But the 'no' that Amanda said to him ... as classy and sensitive as it was on her part, was just that: "No." So of course chairs are going to go flying, don't you know. Life hurts. Don't believe everything you read, and don't believe everything you hear. Scott lost it for only one reason and one reason alone: because rejection hurts. Listen, if you or I were in the same boat, we would probably do the same thing. At least, I hope so! If my producers pulled a rotten, unfeeling, evil stunt like these producers have done, you had better be damned sure I'm going to throw a few chairs around too! Hello? Do you live on Planet Earth? But enough hysteria! Let's check in with the HouseGuests, now nearly a week into their travails for our viewing pleasure. The jury has weighed in with judgments on them. Here is how we can understand them in the best of Hollywood – this erstwhile village that claims an understanding of drama (ha!) – traditions. So here's a one-line character study on each houseguest: Michelle: Britney Spears at age 9 And what happened in the house this week? View Printable version of this article |
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