Paradise Hotel, July 14: Now Playing: Boogie Nights and Jason the Ex

The other candidate is a 21-year-old bartender from Kaffel, Texas, Lauren Gustafson. Her audition video shows us that she works at Coyote Ugly, just like the movie. She and the other bartenders are shown on the video dancing and going crazy. She tells us she loves to clog and dance on the bar and is a big exhibitionist. She's a performer who loves to be in the limelight. She a very very good girl, but she has a wild side. She's popular with the guys because of her stomach; men love it. She promises to stir up the pot if she goes to Paradise Hotel. Host Amanda says she can practically hear the knocking sound as she taps Lauren's stomach. Does she work out? "Not really," she shrugs. Host Amanda tells us she hates her now; then asks Lauren if there is any specific guy at Paradise Hotel she has the hots for. She thinks Beau is pretty hot. Beau nods his head in agreement. Lauren goes on to say that Alex is cute also, and maybe Zack. Both these men look pleased, but Dave looks glum, even after she amends that all the men are adorable.

Time for questions. Beau is up first with one for Lauren. He reminds her that she said she was an exhibitionist, then asks her to show him something that they haven't seen already. She says she has a tattoo. She pulls down her pants and shows it to them: a butterfly on her lower back just above the buttocks. Host Amanda comments that a butterfly is appropriate (when scenes with the guests start, captions with their names are shown along with a butterfly landing). Zack is up next and tells Tara they saw her with a machine between her legs. What else does she like to ride? Tara laughs, and says she knew that was coming. She says it's a secret. Guest Amanda tells Lauren that the last girl (Kavita) didn't last very long. So how would she last? Lauren responds that she's not a drama queen like some people. The men smirk at the answer. Guest Amanda doesn't, probably because Lauren caught her in her own trap. Scott notes that Tara is athletic, and wants to know how she feels about mud wrestling with him! "Yeah! I LOVE mud!" she replies. "I challenge you to a mud-wrestling contest." Dave tells Lauren he hears she puts on a great clogging act. He wants to see part of her show. She gets up and does it. Beau asks to see her bellybutton. She's wearing a mostly unbuttoned shirt that doesn't exactly cover it, but she opens it up and shows it with its piercing and jewelry. Then the only button on her shirt pops open, and the cast gets a good look at her bra before she covers up. Beau gets up and shows her that he can do Riverdance! Well, I've never seen Riverdance, despite living in Las Vegas for for years where there are productions shown twice nightly, but I'm pretty sure Michael Flatley wouldn't approve. Dave has another question, this one for Tara. He's cutting to the chase with this one - if she met the right guy at Paradise Hotel, how willing would she be to hook up? She responds with "Why don't you bring me there and find out?"

With the questions over, host Amanda allows each girl to give a final plea to the men as to why they should choose them. The girls take their stands and Tara starts. She tells the cast that she's watched all the shows and admires every single one of them. They are wonderful people, and she'd be honored if they’d let her come and play in Paradise. She notes they are a tight bunch, but she'd love to get to know each and every one of them on a personal level. "Choose me, and I'll rev it up!" she promises.

Lauren starts by saying that from watching them on TV, they all seem like very genuine, neat, fun people. She thinks it would be a blessing to go out there and meet everybody there. "With that, bring on Paradise, and bring on the fun!" she declares.

Decision time. Beau is the spokesman this week. He tells the candidates they are both beautiful young ladies who will go far no matter what happens. He tells Tara she's beautiful, she's awesome, and she'll bring a lot to Paradise Hotel if she comes. He tells Lauren she's spunky and fun. And the next person to join Paradise Hotel is... Tara! Host Amanda dismisses Lauren, then asks Tara how she feels. "Wonderful," she gushes. Host Amanda then tells her that when she arrives, she'll be spending the first week without a roommate. "Really?" she asks, as her mouth drops open. Toni's jaw drops as well. Guest Amanda and Amy don't look happy either. Host Amanda then goes on to say that at the end of the week, Tara will get to pick a roommate and break apart one of the couples, forcing one of the existing guests to check out of Paradise forever. None of the existing guests like that news. So as host Amanda leads Tara to the limousine that will take them to Paradise Hotel, she reminds the audience that they can go from fan of the show to star of the show by visiting paradiseonfox.com.

Frankly, I was hoping the producers would do something about the revolving door of new guests. Dave is the only new person to last longer than a week, due largely to his initial selection of guest Amanda, which allowed him to jump to the unpopular Charla at the next selection, when guests couldn't pick their existing roommate. He then jumped back to the now unpopular guest Amanda to survive another two weeks. Kavita and Matt both picked popular people (Beau and Toni respectively) and were eliminated because of it. I think they should have been starting people in the single room and then letting them have free choice at the next selection all along. Since the program is designed to keep introducing new people, it's time they finally put a mechanism in place to actually give the new guests a chance at staying.

Next time on Paradise Hotel: Tara keeps her promise to Scott by mud wrestling him. Toni expresses her desire to kill Tara. Enemies are made and friendships are destroyed. Project: Terminate Her is formed in order to insure a certain female guest is evicted - but which one is it? My guess is guest Amanda (and I hope it is, because it's tiring to differentiate between her and host Amanda), but we'll find out on Wednesday night, with the recap to follow.

Jeffrey Clinard lives in Las Vegas, Nevada, with his cats, Lam and Princess. He can be reached at jclinard@flashmail.com.

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